Journals > Ages 20-29

My Recovery Journal

(1/31) > >>

Hi everyone! I'm 20 years old and I've been trying to overcome porn addiction for a year or so now and I've found reasonable success but haven't totally kicked it yet. My first encounter with pornography was when I was 10, and I was regularly watching pornography (PMO) since I was 12 or 13. After becoming a Christian I've decided to put up a real fight to stop watching pornography. I've found success hear and there, no PMO for a month or two, but it's still inconsistent with ups and downs. I found this forum through an interview Gabe did on YouTube with Matt Fradd so I decided to become a member to help me in my fight. So far I've been clean for 10 days, and a member here recommended I begin a recovery journal, so here I am! I'm excited and hopeful to find lasting, persistent success. I'm looking to get past the difficult first 3 months and recover.

i think religion is a nice tool to help with addiction. i think addiction is just filling the void that a thing like religion usually does. life is so fucking mysterious that our subconscious minds don't really know how to make sense of it all. random death is a major, major fear that we, as humans, keep locked away in a vault in our minds. but it's there. we can get in a car wreck the minute we step out the door. a tree can flatten us in a rainstorm. cancer. COVID. you name it.

anyways, good luck man. the first three months are difficult, but there is no guarantee that three months is all that it will take. because you're young, you'll be doing pretty damn good at 90 days, but I wouldn't bank on that being the cure-all, just in case.

stick with it. I'm 29 and wish like holy hell that I was able to conquer this addiction when i was as young as you are now. your brain is much more malleable and willing to change. as you get older, it get's a little more stubborn.

DAY 11

Today was fairly easy. Had most of my day occupied with physical exercise, reading, and spending time with family with Thanksgiving. I'm starting to have those dreams where I PMO in the dream and wake up thankful that it was just a dream haha. I think its a sign that I'm going on the right track with rewiring my brain if its reacting like this.

DAY 12

Today was similar to yesterday. Not much temptation or struggle because I managed to keep the triggers from occurring and keep myself busy. Spent most of my day studying, reading, or otherwise being occupied. Using this recovery journal, even though I just started, gives me confidence because of the accountability and record-keeping. So far so good! Praying for myself and you all.

DAY 13

Today was fairly easy as well. Managed to get through while dealing with only a few triggers, nothing too crazy. Spent most of the day occupied with studying, reading, and watching some TV and boxing. I'm feeling great, keeping strong and looking forward to the next day.


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version