Fully recovered PIED.. for a time..

Hello everyone. It has been 7 years since I have been on this site. In fact I can?t believe I still remember my login. That is a good thing. The reason for my lack of participation is because I WAS healed! I did not need to come on here to get answers or try to make myself feel better.

Very quick background. I had PIED since my first sexual experience when I was 17. I started looking at porn at around age 14. I didn?t know why I had ED and it continued all throughout college until I found out about rebooting. I was 22 at this point. It probably took me 6-9 months to see the type of benefits discussed on this website. In fact I can remember seeking out Gabe personally looking for help. I was in a very bad place as many people are who suffer from this are.

After months and months of rebooting I finally went out to breakfast with this girl I met at a party. We talked and went to breakfast. After breakfast we went on a walk and held hands. I WAS HARD AS ROCK. Despite feeling a little embarrassed I was SO HAPPY! This occurred in 2015. I am writing this post 6 years later because I screwed up. Throughout our relationship, which has unfortunately just ended, I started PMO again. Towards the end it felt like I was just using her for sex and not connecting. I lost it. I lost sight of what I worked so hard for. I recently went on another date and my Dick was dead. Totally dead. I?m convinced I could still get it up for my ex, but that?s only because I was comfortable with her.

When I was with her and striving towards making good decisions I was able to start a good career, buy a home, start my own business, etc. now I?m flatlined and pissed at myself. The porn itself was not necessary the cause of the end of the relationship but I promise you it didn?t help and now I?m in flatline.

I?m telling you all this as a warning. Our situation is the exact same as a raging alcoholic having a sip  of beer. It?s just not a good idea. I?m genuinely curious to see how long it will take me this go around to recover again. Thank God I know from experience that it is actually possible.

Hey man,

Really sorry for you. I read your success story every once in a while, it?s a very inspiring one. What a turn of events.

It?s really nice that you are sharing that here, though. It?s not the first time I read about a rebooted guy who falls back into porn and develops ED again. As you said, we really have to stay cautious about this. Thanks for reminding us about that.

Now... You?ve done it before, you can do it again, as you said. I hope for you it doesn?t take long to heal again. I also hope it?s not too difficult for you to stay away from porn at the moment.

It?ll get better, man. Keep us posted.

Vying for you man. You've accomplished a lot in this 6 years that you've healed, just wanted to point that out. You've seen the danger you're in if you keep getting back. Now fight so you don't lose it all. Cause you really can.

Keep pushing back man.

I appreciate all the encouragement. I gotta say, I feel like the timeframe is closer to a year for people in my position. Even though I had a ton of sex while I was in a relationship, those old porn pathways in my brain have to still be strong. The funny thing is how fast time flew when I had a girlfriend and a functioning penis. Now everything is crawling. You?d think I would have learned.

Perhaps some of you could help me get my head straight. I had sex twice the night my girl and I broke up. (I guess breakup sex is a thing). I?m sitting here freaking out because during our relationship I had watched porn. We all know that wasn?t a good thing. The however is, I was still able to have sex all the time. So I gotta ask myself why I?m freaking out so much. I know my anxiety is often times out of control but I think everyone here would do well to relax a little. Did I have PIED when I was younger? Yea I believe so. But there is no way I have it now 2 months after my breakup when I haven?t watched any porn and had successful sex recently. The anxiety the PIED caused me from a long time ago has wreaked havoc. I think it needs more of a focus in this reboot conversation.

Has anybody noticed their member shrivel up when they?re anxious? Notice how much bigger it is in the morning before their anxiety riddled brain takes over? I know I can say I have. I?m not totally sure what to think anymore. Obviously stay off the PMO but I?d also say it?s time to chill the hell out. I know it?s easier said than done.

Good question.

In an interview that Gary Wilson gave to Noah Church, he said that the one thing all recovered guys had in common was that they tried changing their lives when they rebooted. And if you read success stories attentively, you?ll see that most guys who recovered from PIED got their lives back on track as they rebooted. So I think that even though quitting porn is necessary to heal, there?s no way to know for sure if it?s the only thing at play here.

Like you said, it?s time to chill the hell out. It can only be beneficial to a man?s libido. It?s just like with appetite: you?re not hungry when you?re stressed, anxious or depressed, right? For guys who have a history with ED, I think it?s safe to assume that stress or depression might impact their libido.

Thanks for the reply Bilbo. I?m sure I can get it up with gentle M. If I had PIED that wouldn?t work right?

Join the club Franky, I am also back here because I RECOVERED and then RELAPSED. it fucking sucks, but apparently we are a breed apart. Just hang in there and avoid all artificial sexual stimulation and you will be back to normal soon.

I totally agree with you about the confidence thing with Pied. It is probably the hardest thing to get back. It is totally shot. I think I am in a good spot and getting back to recovery my morning woods are coming along very nicely right now and very hard and I think I would be able to masturbate just to touch with a bit of difficulty, but when I think of sex it gives me serious anxiety and fear of failure thanks to so much lousy sex due to Pied.

Right. All of that sounds like performance anxiety if you ask me. If my ex were to walk back in the picture we would be having sex within 5 minutes. But I?m sitting here freaking out counting days etc because of what happened in the past. Checking my morning wood has me freaked out too. I don?t really have it! I get them in the middle of the night but never in the morning. I?m not sure if that?s the same thing or not. And when I wake up in the middle of the night I?m hard as a rock. So how do I explain that? I don?t think I can.

Well, I think you should take it easy now. It seems to me you?re overthinking this. I don?t get morning wood very often, but I?m able to have sex. Of course, I hope I?ll get morning wood regularly one day, but I try to not think about it. Same with masturbation without porn: I?ve always been able to masturbate but I still had PIED in the bedroom. All this to say that I think the only real test is when having sex. Morning wood and good erections during masturbation are not good indicators of a healthy libido, in my opinion (at least, not during the reboot).

franky jr said:

Right. All of that sounds like performance anxiety if you ask me. If my ex were to walk back in the picture we would be having sex within 5 minutes. But I?m sitting here freaking out counting days etc because of what happened in the past. Checking my morning wood has me freaked out too. I don?t really have it! I get them in the middle of the night but never in the morning. I?m not sure if that?s the same thing or not. And when I wake up in the middle of the night I?m hard as a rock. So how do I explain that? I don?t think I can.

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Good question, there is a difference between nocturnal erections and morning wood. Now that I think about what you say mine might be nocturnal erections as well, I get them somewhere around 5 am maybe, and it sticks around for 5 mins. I think what it means is that our equipment is working fine but the brain is our problem. So it could be PIED,  Performance anxiety, or a combination of both. From all my reading it suggests that morning wood or nocturnal erections is a good thing but they are not necessarily any indicators of whether we have healed completely or not.

So yeah, abstinence is good to a point and should cure us but we also have to get over the performance anxiety which is not that easy. It is definitely a component. I actually just read a good thread on that, let me see if i can locate it again.

Here it is

http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=18446.0


The guy also needed to put behind a few weeks of successful sex before he could get be cured. Performance anxiety is a real issue.

Bilbo Im wondering how long you have been at this? I didn?t come on this site for 6 years because I was having successful sex. You say you can have successful sex as well but don?t think you?re recovered? I guess that?s confusing to me. You also say you don?t often get MW and can M without porn but those aren?t indications of being healed? That doesn?t sound right. Gabe talked about the test for having PIED, and one of the tests is being able to M without fantasy or porn these are things  you say you can do. Maybe I need a little more explanation. I don?t think I understand fully.

No, it?s not that you don?t understand, it?s just that it?s different for everyone. I?ve always had PIED, but I was always able to masturbate without porn. I failed hundreds of time at sex, but I never failed to have an erection when masturbating without porn. The PIED test can give you a general idea on PIED, but it?s not a perfect test. I know that some guys have such a severe case of PIED that they can?t even get an erection with porn. As I said, I always could get an erection when masturbating, but I failed to have one, or maintain one, during sex, hundreds of time. It?s definitely PIED, it?s just not as severe as other cases. But believe me, it was severe enough to ruin many, many attempts at sex. I had a girlfriend for 4 years when I was in my early 20?s, and I never succeeded in penetrative sex with her...

I?ve been rebooting for 10 months now. In the last 4 weeks, I?ve been able to have sex with a decent erection each time I went to bed. It?s far from perfect, I mean, I still have a pretty low libido, and I don?t think I could make love twice in the same day, but it seems I?m functional now, at least for one round. But I still don?t have morning wood. I get nocturnal erections regularly, though, but according to Gary Wilson morning wood and nocturnal erections are two different things (there?s an article about that on YBOP).

Being able to have sex many months before having consistent morning wood is not rare at all for guys who are rebooting. For many guys, it?s the contrary: they have morning wood regularly, but they still fail when they try to have sex. Look at this success story, the guy says he was able to have sex consistently after 7 months, but only had regular morning wood when he reached 12 months or so:

http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=17960.0

So yeah, everyone is different. The real test is being able to have sex. If you can do it, you?re at least functional, you?re somehow halfway through recovery. If you can have sex multiple times in the same day, have morning wood on a regular basis and feel that you have a high sex drive, that?s when you?re definitely healed, in my opinion. I?m not there yet, but things are way better than they were.

Thanks for sharing. I appreciate the insight. Were you unaware of the cause for the ED when you were with your girlfriend? 10 months isn?t so bad in the grand scheme of things. Congratulations on the sex. That?s one of the biggest reasons for rebooting right? Ha how old are you if you don?t mind me asking? I had sex twice in one night before my girlfriend and I broke up. That was just two short months ago. I have to believe all my self doubt and flatline symptoms are being caused by anxiety and fear of failure in the future. I?m still avoiding PMO but I just wish I had a definitive answer. The only way to get it is to try and have sex again. The kicker is I?m too anxious to even try to date someone new!

When I was younger, I had the intuition that porn was the cause of my ED, but I only discovered YBOP and Reboot Nation last year, and that?s when it all made sense to me. I?m 32. I wish I had found out about this earlier, but it?s better late than never. And yes, my main objective in rebooting is healing from ED. There are clearly many other benefits to rebooting, but fixing ED is still my priority.

Many guys won?t agree with me, but if I was in your situation, I?d use ED pills. I mean, I?d do that if I was single. You?re more likely to be nervous than when you?re in a long term relationship with someone you trust. Also, I really wouldn?t want to fail in bed with a girl I just met, or in a one-night stand. Just don?t overuse them, and be ready to eventually let go of them if you use them. In my current situation, since I?m able to have decent erections with my girlfriend, and since I want to do what?s best for me, I stay away from them. But if I was single, I?d definitely use them. At the same time, I think being single is a very good occasion to go hard mode for a few months, which is possibly the best thing anyone with PIED can do at the beginning of a reboot.

I hear ya. Given the fact that I was able to do it 2 months ago I should be able to now as long as I get my head right. I?m going to avoid the ED pills for now. I?ve heard a lot of stories of guys having girlfriends. I really don?t understand how anybody gets a girlfriend with ED. The only reason I had one is because I fixed my ED before we started dating. How did you get and keep your girl despite having some of these issues?

Bilbo Baggins said:

When I was younger, I had the intuition that porn was the cause of my ED, but I only discovered YBOP and Reboot Nation last year, and that?s when it all made sense to me. I?m 32. I wish I had found out about this earlier, but it?s better late than never. And yes, my main objective in rebooting is healing from ED. There are clearly many other benefits to rebooting, but fixing ED is still my priority.

Many guys won?t agree with me, but if I was in your situation, I?d use ED pills. I mean, I?d do that if I was single. You?re more likely to be nervous than when you?re in a long term relationship with someone you trust. Also, I really wouldn?t want to fail in bed with a girl I just met, or in a one-night stand. Just don?t overuse them, and be ready to eventually let go of them if you use them. In my current situation, since I?m able to have decent erections with my girlfriend, and since I want to do what?s best for me, I stay away from them. But if I was single, I?d definitely use them. At the same time, I think being single is a very good occasion to go hard mode for a few months, which is possibly the best thing anyone with PIED can do at the beginning of a reboot.

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Good post..I agree with a lot of it. Only problem is that ED pills like viagra work if arousal is there but penis has problems of Ed. Pied is brain wiring related and Viagra might not fix it. I am into my reboot, more than a month with some small failings here and there. I will be trying ED pills soon and I will post my experience.

I am trying to use them as a an aid to recovery and hope that they will give me a significant boost. At least enough to have successful sex once a week and then I get off of them in a few months.

franky jr said:

I hear ya. Given the fact that I was able to do it 2 months ago I should be able to now as long as I get my head right. I?m going to avoid the ED pills for now. I?ve heard a lot of stories of guys having girlfriends. I really don?t understand how anybody gets a girlfriend with ED. The only reason I had one is because I fixed my ED before we started dating. How did you get and keep your girl despite having some of these issues?

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I guess I was lucky enough to find women that loved me despite the fact I have PIED. Also, I never had absolute PIED, I always could receive blowjobs without losing my erection, and I became very good in oral sex myself. So I had a sex life, even in my worst PIED years. When I turned 24 and met my current girlfriend, I started watching porn less often, and thanks to that, I was able to have successful penetrative sex with her since then. My erections were always shitty, I was never completely hard and I would lose my erection very often, but manual or oral stimulation would make me hard again. And since 2017, I have been using Viagra, and that allowed me to have better sex.

Yeah, I?ve been lucky, because I was never dumped by a woman despite my ED. The two women I?ve been in a relationship with stuck with me anyway. But of course, I never could have had a steady friend with benefits with such a poor libido. I had around 7-8 one-night stands in my life, and each of them was a complete failure for me, I couldn?t get hard enough to have sex with those girls. I received some good blowjobs, though. Better than nothing.

Bilbo Baggins said:

franky jr said:

I hear ya. Given the fact that I was able to do it 2 months ago I should be able to now as long as I get my head right. I?m going to avoid the ED pills for now. I?ve heard a lot of stories of guys having girlfriends. I really don?t understand how anybody gets a girlfriend with ED. The only reason I had one is because I fixed my ED before we started dating. How did you get and keep your girl despite having some of these issues?

Click to expand...

I guess I was lucky enough to find women that loved me despite the fact I have PIED. Also, I never had absolute PIED, I always could receive blowjobs without losing my erection, and I became very good in oral sex myself. So I had a sex life, even in my worst PIED years. When I turned 24 and met my current girlfriend, I started watching porn less often, and thanks to that, I was able to have successful penetrative sex with her since then. My erections were always shitty, I was never completely hard and I would lose my erection very often, but manual or oral stimulation would make me hard again. And since 2017, I have been using Viagra, and that allowed me to have better sex.

Yeah, I?ve been lucky, because I was never dumped by a woman despite my ED. The two women I?ve been in a relationship with stuck with me anyway. But of course, I never could have had a steady friend with benefits with such a poor libido. I had around 7-8 one-night stands in my life, and each of them was a complete failure for me, I couldn?t get hard enough to have sex with those girls. I received some good blowjobs, though. Better than nothing.

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I can relate to that somewhat. I had VERY lousy sex thanks to my PIED but I was able to have sex with continuous stimulation. I even have 2 kids with my wife and she has stuck around thankfully. The only time I didn't have problems losing erections was when I had my last reboot and it took me 6 to 8 months to recover. I then could have a solid erection all through the sex cycle. I couldn't believe it. That continued for a year or two and then I friggin relapsed. Since my relapse though I do feel that I have not been as addicted as i had been previously and so my PIED has been slightly better this time around but sex is always so stressful that I will lose my erection. I am into the 6th weeks of my reboot (with 1 week in between of manual stimulation for M with no P or P thoughts) and I want to use viagra as an aid to recovery and at least have better sex. I hope to leave P and P subs behind once and for all this time. Fingers crossed that viagra helps out.