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Messages - tom46017

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Ages 30-39 / Re: !Operation Reboot Jake!
« on: July 20, 2014, 04:26:26 PM »
Hey, buddy.  I just read your message.  I will try to help by being an accountability partner. 

You write pretty well.  You must be pretty educated.  Did you go to college?  Do you have a job?  What do you do for a career? Do you have a girl friend? I assume you are single. 

Most of those questions about me can be read in my posts.  I sent you a reply on how to read my posts.

Do one thing for me.  Go to  Sean Stewart has a lot of videos on there.  They have helped me a lot.  Let me know what you think?

I think it would be best for you to send e-mails to me directly to my e-mail address.  That way I do not have to go into RebootNation to see what is there.

My e-mail address is     [email protected]

I am porn free since June 25.  Most of my progress is due to Sean Stewart.  Stay in touch buddy.

Success Stories / Re: Walking out of the darkness
« on: July 18, 2014, 08:11:51 PM »
Jason:  You cannot do this alone and you have come to the realization of that.  You can read part of my story at "it's never too late".  There is a lot of junk there but I am making some progress.

Good luck and keep me posted.  My e-mail is [email protected]

Porn Addiction / Re: New here, and I need help!
« on: July 18, 2014, 08:00:46 PM »
Hey! tom46017 here.  You had suggested we might be accountability partners.  That may work.  Your situation is quite different than mine.

Try going to You Tube and searching Sean Stewart.  He has a lot of videos on there that have helped me. 

Did you say your computers have not sound.  That has to be a problem when trying to watch help sessions such as Sean Stewart.

You can always e-mai me at [email protected]

Ages 40 and up / Re: Hello out there
« on: July 18, 2014, 07:49:15 PM »
I am 71 and have been addicted to porn for about 10 years and to serial adultery for 25.  It has destroyed my self esteem.  You can go to my journal and read all of the "junk" that has been going on in my life.

I have been working on porn free since June 25.  You should go to You Tube and search Sean Stewart.  He has a lot of videos that have really helped me. 

I have attached some notes I have taken. 

It would be great to hear from you.  My e-mail is [email protected]

Ages 40 and up / It's never too late
« on: July 17, 2014, 07:44:29 PM »
I am 71 years old . . . feel about 30 . . . look about 55-60.  I have a bachelor's degree, master's degree, and have done post graduate work.  Semi retired . . . work 20 hours per week in a large church accounting and finance department.  Married, two great kids, four grandchildren.  Raised as a Protestant Christian from birth and still active in my church . . . a somewhat conservative denomination even though I am pretty liberal.  If my denomination had excommunication privileges, I would have been gone long ago!

I have been addicted to internet porn for at least 10 years.  Before that, I frequented adult books stores when I was out of town on business.  I started with pretty "normal" porn . . . clean cut male/female couples.  As time went on, even though I did not realize it, I was progressing into more and more of the bazaar. Now it is gang bang, circle jerk, bisexual male/male/female, even on rare occasions, bestiality.

I started having ED about 6 to 8 years ago.  I have gone to urologist to have my testosterone checked . . . it is ok.  I have used samples of all the ED meds.  They help some but never have gotten me rock hard like before ED.  I am on several medications because of sleep disorders and depression.  I have some prostate issues so there is a med for that.  I have some cholesterol problems . . . both good and bad . . . and I am on meds for that.  I have hypothyroidism . . .med for that!  Old age sucks but it is better than the alternative!

I cannot cum unless I watch porn.  Even then cumming does not always happen.  Since I cannot get hard, intercourse is out.  On the rare occasions when my wife and I have sex, I can satisfy her orally.  I like doing that and she likes it but it does not give me a hard on.

I feel ashamed that I watch porn because I know it would disappoint my family and friends if they knew if was getting with porn.  My wife does know.  I have told her.  She feels that is a form of cheating but she stands by me and encourages me to stop and does not "blast" me when she finds out I have relapsed.

I came in to watch porn on June 25.  For some reason, rather than search for some porn, I did a search for porn addiction.  I have no idea why I did that! But . . . what I found was incredible.  One of my favorite sites was on You Tube.  The guy's name is Sean Stewart.  He has a lot of videos and I have watched them all.  I am using a lot of his techniques and the success if unbelievable.  My mind set is beginning to change from thinking about sex every 10 seconds to being happier, feeling more in control, being more positive, being more confident.  All of this in just three weeks.

Yesterday, July 16, I did have some free time at home and my wife was gone.  I was horny and decided I would see if I could jerk off and cum without the porn.  I used several toys including a pump device that my urologist prescribed.  Also a vibrator and dildo.  It all felt great but I could not maintain a hard on and I could not cum.  I resorted to watching 10 minutes of porn and busted very quickly.  Go figure!

Still, I do not think I have this strong desire to start watching porn again.  Watching porn just does not seem so attractive as a way to get aroused.  My sex drive seems to have diminished some and for me that is a good thing since sex is usually on my mine almost every 10 seconds.

I am going to add more later.  Right now I am going to attend a live discussion of step two of the 12 step addiction process with Sean Stewart. 


Porn Addiction / Re: NEW REBOOT
« on: July 17, 2014, 06:04:07 PM »
Hang in there.  Go to You Tube and search Sean Stewart.  He has a lot of videos that have really helped me.  I am pretty new at this as well . . . just three weeks.  Watched porn for about 10 minutes one time during the three weeks.

You will feel much better about yourself and have a great deal more self confidence when you find you can control your desires rather than letting porn control you.

I meditate.  I think of positive words.  I think of the word being at the base of my brain in the back of my neck.  I force the word into my brain.  I think about the word swirling around in the center of my brain and then exploding out of my ears.  I try to do this for about 15 minutes each day.  I also do it during the day when I am just sitting at work or in my car . . . just don't close your eyes when driving!!

Words like power, control, confident, love, forgive, honest, true, happy, smile, peace, overcome, humble, willing, and on and on.  Whatever works for you.

When I feel a sex drive, which in my case seems like it is every ten seconds, I do the same brain exercise but use the work "block".  It makes the brain change course and stops the sex drive for a while.

I am looking for an accountability partner.  We may be a fit.  E-mail me if you want at [email protected]

Porn Addiction / Re: is masturbation forbidden as well?
« on: July 17, 2014, 05:50:53 PM »
I do not think it requires a person the stop jerking.  Sex is a biological need.  If masturbation is forbidden the so must be fucking. 

I can only cum while watching porn.  I try jack off and oral sex with wife but neither work.  I will have to reprogram myself.  This is going to be very difficult . . . I think I can stop the porn but not being able to cum any other way is going to be frustrating.

Just my opinion

Porn Addiction / Re: Starting now!
« on: July 16, 2014, 08:06:32 PM »
Check out you tube.  search Sean Stewart.  He has helped me in just three weeks.

Porn Addiction / Re: New here, and I need help!
« on: July 16, 2014, 08:04:55 PM »
You can get help.  Go to You Tube and search Sean Stewart.  He has a lot of videos that may help you.  He has helped me within just three weeks.

Good luck and do the hard work it takes to stop addiction.

I am looking for an accountability partner.  Maybe we would be a good fit.

[email protected]

Teens / Re: About to go to college, time to stop reliance on porn
« on: July 16, 2014, 08:01:01 PM »
Don't worry about the wet dreams, dude.  Enjoy them.  Why are you worried about them?  When I was your age I had them all the time also.  You are not addicted to wet dreams!  You do need to get off the porn.  I have been addicted for years and am (for the last three weeks) really working at getting clean.

I am married and porn has really fucked up my sex life with my wife.  I need to come clean.

You might go to You Tube and search Sean Stewart.  He has helped me a lot.

Good luck.

Teens / Re: My story, 15 year old.
« on: July 16, 2014, 07:50:18 PM »
Buddy.  Stop the porn.  If you have a girl friend that is willing to fuck stay with it.  Why are you watching porn?  Do you jack off to the porn or just watch it?  You may not be addicted now but if you continue, you will be addicted.

I am married and addicted and it has really fucked up my sex life with my wife. 

Stop now if you can.

Teens / Re: Gay Christian Teen Journal
« on: July 16, 2014, 07:42:53 PM »
Go to You Tube and search Sean Stewart.  He has a lot of videos that may help you.  He is not gay nor bisexual but he does not care that you are.  He has helped me a lot.  I am married and bi.  On a scale of 0-10 (0 being 100% hetero and 10 being 100% homo) I am probably an 8.  I was born this way and there is no way to change it but I can change my behavior.  I have been addicted to porn for several years and I am using Sean's methods to overcome.

Good luck     

Porn Addiction / What does PMO stand for?
« on: July 16, 2014, 07:20:36 PM »
I am new to RebootNation.  I see PMO used a lot.  I must be dense!  What does it stand for?

Porn Addiction / How do I get an accountability partner
« on: July 16, 2014, 07:06:48 PM »
I want to get an accountability partner.  Can anyone share with me how this works?

Porn Addiction / Re: When do we start rewiring?
« on: July 16, 2014, 07:02:45 PM »
Check out you tube and search Sean Stewart.  He has helped me and probably can help you.

Go to YOU TUBE and search Sean Stewart.  He has a lot of videos that have helped me within the last three weeks.  I too was suicidal.

Porn Addiction / Married but bisexual
« on: July 16, 2014, 06:58:27 PM »
I am happily married but my wife and I rarely have sex.  I have been addicted to porn for several years.  I first started watching male/female couples in adult bookstores.  I did not like watching male/male couples.  However, over the years I have progressed to the bazaar since porn is so accessible on the internet.  I watch good looking guys gang bang a female, I watch young male athletes and young college guys jack off.  I watch circle jerks.  I watch web cam guys jacking off.  The only way I can get hard enough to cum is to watch clean cut, young males jack off.  I do not care for the male/male videos. 

I am on depression/anxiety medication. 

I have been 19 days without porn.  I have been watching you tube (Sean Stewart). and that has helped a lot.  I am doing meditation, exercise, and mind exercises to try to help my self esteem and confidence and would like to get to the point where I can at least decrease the dosage of my medication.

I am also a serial adulterer.  I have been free from that for about 21 days. 

I would like to have an accountability partner.  Let me know if you are interested.

[email protected] 

Ages 40 and up / Re: Last big thing to change
« on: July 16, 2014, 06:39:49 PM »
Try searching You Tube for Sean Stewart.  He has help me a lot.  I am a beginner at trying to break the addiction.  I can only cum when I watch porn.  I cannot get a hard on ever.  When I watch porn, I can get hard enough to jerk and cum most of the time.

I am married and seldom have sex with my wife.  I usually make her cum orally but I cannot get it up.

I did watch about 10 minutes of porn today.  I had been jacking off for almost one and half hours and could not cum.  Finally did a few minutes of porn and busted.

I am looking for an accountability partner.  We might chat some about that.

[email protected]

Ages 40 and up / Re: Okay here we go on recovery
« on: July 16, 2014, 06:33:56 PM »
Hang in there.  I am married but have sex very seldom with my wife.  I do not use Viagra.  It is too expensive for me.  I can only cum when I am watching porn.  I do not get totally hard like I used to but when I am watching porn I can get it up enough to jerk off and usually cum.

I am looking at internet studies on having an orgasm with out really shooting.  You may want to try looking at that.

Also, go to You Tube and search Sean Stewart.  He has helped me a lot. 

Porn Addiction / Re: Get hard erections but doing NO PMO anyway?
« on: July 15, 2014, 06:55:45 PM »
What is PMO.  I cannot get hard and can cum only when watching porn but that is a 50/50 shot.  I have been porn free for only 19 days but I really do think RebootNation and other sites are going to get me cured.  Check out Sean Stewart on You Tube.  He is great.

Porn Addiction / Re: MEDITATION
« on: July 15, 2014, 06:49:37 PM »
I find a quite spot (guest bedroom), put a blanket and pillow on the floor and sit up straight.  I close my eyes and think of words that will help me be positive.  Such as    confident, power, strong, positive, truth, peace, happy, smile and on and on.

I think of these words as if they are coming out of the back of my neck just below the brain.  I concentrate on the word rolling up to the center of my brain and then having the word wrap itself around the center of my brain. 

If I find my mind wandering, the think of the word "block" and let it go up the back of my neck and wrap itself around my brain.  That helps me to keep focused.

I find this system gets me motivated and positive and keeps my mind on positive things during the rest of the day rather than sex every 10 seconds!

I am finding these words are changing my brain to focus on these positive words and I actually think I am reconditioning my inner brain.

Porn Addiction / Accountability partner
« on: July 15, 2014, 06:38:56 PM »
Just became a member.  I am married but have been addicted to porn for several years.  Sex with my wife if very, very, seldom.  I came in to watch porn on Thursday night, June 26.  For some reason I went to You Tube and searched porn addiction.  I found Sean Stewart who had been addicted to porn for 14 years starting at age 16.  He has several videos on You Tube that have really changed my life.  I have been porn free for 19 days and really do not feel any need to go to it.  Sean has given me many tips on how to change my thought process, how to think positive, how to stop being depressed, how to block feelings of sexual desire, and on and on.

Today, I came upon videos by Gabe.  I am so grateful for his honesty and his freedom to discuss porn and sex in the terms most of us men think of it.  Common language such as whacking off and jerking off help to make me feel very comfortable with Gabe.  Sean Stewart also talks in terms most of us men can understand!

I really thought I was the only upstanding, clean cut, hard working man that was hooked to such trash.

I am impotent but watching porn was the only way I could get off . . . but even that was a 50/50 chance.  I have ED but that could be because of age.  I am not a virile 25-30 year old any more even though my sex drive is as strong now as it was back in those days.

Would like to hear from others who are recovering from addiction.  Let me know your story.  I would like to find an accountability partner

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