j7ll7
Member
Hi all,
My name is Jelle, I'm 24 years old and I'm from the Netherlands. I've been trying to abstain from porn for quite some time now. But so far to no avail. For the past two years I've been battling with several addictions. Mainly an addiction to weed. Four months ago I finally managed to beat the addiction and haven't taken a puff of marijuana since. Two months ago I also quit smoking, an addiction that has been with me for a year and a half. Besides that I've also been battling depression and for the first time in two years I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel.
So now I finally feel strong enough to also take on the challenge of quitting porn and masturbation forever. I want to quit because about three months ago I came to the shocking conclusion that I couldn't get it up during sex. Till now I've always blamed alcohol, weed or some other drug for not being able to get it up. But this time I was completely sober!!!!! It was by far the worst moment of my life. It made me feel like I was not a man, like I was not worthy of even being part of society. I knew I had to do something.
But I was so stuck in a rut. I was smoking a pack of sigarrets a day, drinking beer every day and hated my job. My friends weren't there for me and I just felt completely alone. So porn was the only thing that gave me a little bit of pleasure. But that pleasure was also fading. Every time is would PMO (not really familiar with the terminology but I think you mean masturbation with this) I would just get the most empty feeling out of it. It wasn't pleasurable, there was no rush, I just needed to do it for some reason.
That was the moment I realized that the problem became a full blown addiction. I felt the same emptiness that I felt just before I quit weed. The only satisfaction I got out of it was just the satisfaction of scratching the addiction itch. The pleasureable feelings all faded away a long time ago. So I knew something had to happen right now. But at this point I was also still addicted to sigarrets, depressed and hated my job so I thought that the best way to go about this was to just take it one step at a time.
So first I quit my job and found a new one. Right after getting my new job I quit smoking. Because of the pride that I felt of quitting smoking and the satisfaction that I got out of my new job I felt the depression slowly losing it's grip on me. But during this period I was still beating (or rather abusing) my meat. I thought if I'm doing so good for my body then I can do at least something that I know is counterproductive.
So now we've finally arrived at the current day, for a week now I've abstained from porn. I've not had any urges or cravings so far. And I finally feel strong enough to share my story with the world. I've found through the experiences of being addicted and depressed that it is not something that you have to be ashamed of. It is one of the most natural things that if you lack in some vital needs that you have as a human animal that you seek something to replace it. In my case these things were drugs and endless internet porn.
Now I'm on a journey to try and get my highs only from real sources and not from external stimuli or fabricated realities. I'm more interested now then ever before in how my brain works and how I can prevent addiction from ever getting a hold over me. I want to be able to delete as many artificial dopamine stimulators from my life as possible. So I can finally appreciate and experience life in the best way possible. So this is going to be my journey for the comming months and I hope I can count on this great community to help me. I sure as hell will be trying to help as best as I can to assist you in your journeys.
Sorry for the long story, once I started typing I couldn't really stop (also sorry for grammar mistakes or misspelled words, english is not my native language)
My name is Jelle, I'm 24 years old and I'm from the Netherlands. I've been trying to abstain from porn for quite some time now. But so far to no avail. For the past two years I've been battling with several addictions. Mainly an addiction to weed. Four months ago I finally managed to beat the addiction and haven't taken a puff of marijuana since. Two months ago I also quit smoking, an addiction that has been with me for a year and a half. Besides that I've also been battling depression and for the first time in two years I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel.
So now I finally feel strong enough to also take on the challenge of quitting porn and masturbation forever. I want to quit because about three months ago I came to the shocking conclusion that I couldn't get it up during sex. Till now I've always blamed alcohol, weed or some other drug for not being able to get it up. But this time I was completely sober!!!!! It was by far the worst moment of my life. It made me feel like I was not a man, like I was not worthy of even being part of society. I knew I had to do something.
But I was so stuck in a rut. I was smoking a pack of sigarrets a day, drinking beer every day and hated my job. My friends weren't there for me and I just felt completely alone. So porn was the only thing that gave me a little bit of pleasure. But that pleasure was also fading. Every time is would PMO (not really familiar with the terminology but I think you mean masturbation with this) I would just get the most empty feeling out of it. It wasn't pleasurable, there was no rush, I just needed to do it for some reason.
That was the moment I realized that the problem became a full blown addiction. I felt the same emptiness that I felt just before I quit weed. The only satisfaction I got out of it was just the satisfaction of scratching the addiction itch. The pleasureable feelings all faded away a long time ago. So I knew something had to happen right now. But at this point I was also still addicted to sigarrets, depressed and hated my job so I thought that the best way to go about this was to just take it one step at a time.
So first I quit my job and found a new one. Right after getting my new job I quit smoking. Because of the pride that I felt of quitting smoking and the satisfaction that I got out of my new job I felt the depression slowly losing it's grip on me. But during this period I was still beating (or rather abusing) my meat. I thought if I'm doing so good for my body then I can do at least something that I know is counterproductive.
So now we've finally arrived at the current day, for a week now I've abstained from porn. I've not had any urges or cravings so far. And I finally feel strong enough to share my story with the world. I've found through the experiences of being addicted and depressed that it is not something that you have to be ashamed of. It is one of the most natural things that if you lack in some vital needs that you have as a human animal that you seek something to replace it. In my case these things were drugs and endless internet porn.
Now I'm on a journey to try and get my highs only from real sources and not from external stimuli or fabricated realities. I'm more interested now then ever before in how my brain works and how I can prevent addiction from ever getting a hold over me. I want to be able to delete as many artificial dopamine stimulators from my life as possible. So I can finally appreciate and experience life in the best way possible. So this is going to be my journey for the comming months and I hope I can count on this great community to help me. I sure as hell will be trying to help as best as I can to assist you in your journeys.
Sorry for the long story, once I started typing I couldn't really stop (also sorry for grammar mistakes or misspelled words, english is not my native language)