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Messages - cmcgos92

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Ages 20-29 / Re: New Here: Slipped Up Yesterday/Earlier Today.
« on: December 25, 2015, 08:36:43 PM »
First of all congratulatuons on taking a positive step and sharing your story and making it to 14 days prior to this, knowing you can make it through the very early stage is definitely something you should be proud of because it's where most people struggle.

Just having a read through this though and the first thing I would suggest is that you really need to go to ybop and read up some more (especially through the faq section) because you seem to have a few misconceptions in your explanation. From everything that has been recorded by people experiencing porn related sexual dysfunction, there is no such thing as a "kinda reboot" or being "a little rebooted,  you either are, aren't 'rebooted'.

Also its important to remember that your brain doesnt make the distinction between a sex tape you are in and a porn movie. Obviously porn movies can result in greater dopamine release as the content is far more stimulating (and there is no better example of this than you escalating from the sex tape your girlfriend sent you to then watching porn), but you are still staring at a screen in a voyeuristic role. So even though you can objectively say that you are in that sex tape, the 'mammalian' part of your brain doesnt make that distinction, so you are still training yourself to be aroused by sex on a computer screen and not real sex (and in the process tempting fate because it's so easy to be washed away by a torrent of water once you raise the floodgates even a little bit).

As to your question about messing up too much, everything with this is on an individual level. Did you undo all the good you did by cutting porn out for two weeks in just one session? Probably not. But as someone who's struggled with this for a while I can advise that the best thing I did after getting fed up with failure was to read up on everything to do with pied. It takes a while to get a good understanding of what you are up against and how the brain works but it really is vital do I would suggest you take the time to do that. It will take a few weeks but it really is the first step. While doing that I also advise you to think about the things that trigger you to relapse (time of day, activities etc.) and to come up with strategies to avoid urges during these times and changes these activities or eliminate them all together. Also focus on doing the small everyday chores and tasks really well, it is so easy to avoid these things but if you put in the time to do them you will se improvements in all aspects of life as they really do set you up for experience anyway.

Essentially there is no magic fix to this and there is no way to tell how long it will take someone to 'fully heal', especially those of us who have grown up with high speed Internet as it takes us much longer to heal. It's not all doom and gloom though, as someone who went through their fair share of relapses before my current attempt it is amazing to discover how much time I now have on my hands, not just because I've cut out porn and masturbation but also because I spend much less time procrastinating. I still have a long way to go and the hardest part is still ahead but the previous point is something I am going to hold on to as inspiration and motivation no matter how hard the journey becomes. Trust me, the greatest gift is more time.

Hope at least some of this is helpful to you. Make sure you get back on the bike and don't give in. You can make it mate.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Call me Captain F*cking Sunshine
« on: December 14, 2015, 07:10:56 AM »
Just read your initial post and I felt like I was reading a synopsis of my experience over the last year or so. Just know you're not the only one man. The first week or two is always hard...but you can do it.

Ages 20-29 / Re: A Reboot To Boot
« on: December 06, 2015, 10:32:42 PM »
It's good you got past that urge. Remember how it felt to say no to the mammalian/caveman instinct, it will help you in the future. Definitely make it a priority to get a job, and to get out of bed each morning...especially when you don't want to.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Journal: My Reminder
« on: December 06, 2015, 10:20:56 PM »
I can definitely relate to your story man. Especially attitudes towards studying and doing assignments,  it's ridiculously hard to sit down and do them and then even hard to tell yourself it's all too difficult or you can come back to it later after some...temporary relief.

Stay strong.

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