14 days PMO free - and what a difference!

Free from PMO since 1 November and I feel so much has changed. My wife and I have had some really crappy times since I was caught out with my porn stash two weeks ago, but I have been honest, I have not hidden from my actions and their consequences. We have started seeing a relationship therapist and I am using hypnotherapy to curb P addiction.

This morning I found myself building a sex fantasy as I have so often done before, but it was about her - not some illusion in my head. I went ahead and acted on my thoughts and gave her an orgasm for the first time in God knows when. Not full sex yet, but a great start.

Now I am just watching myself for the 'chaser' effect, but I already told my wife I could easily MO after our experience but that I was not going to do it.

I know we still have a lot of healing to do and lost time to make up for, but I am so happy to be taking the right path at last. I hope and pray it can continue.

Sounds awesome Vic. PMO is not your friend and has wrecked many lives. Love is always the answer, and it looks like it was there all along waiting for you to get on the sobriety road and receive it! best of luck with the rest of your journey. 2 weeks is amazing.

Thank you, 'comador', for your encouragement.

I do have to be careful at the moment - I can almost feel my brain telling me "OK, you've done well, you've proved you can do it. Don't you think we deserve a little reward now? Doing it once won't do any us harm."

This is strongest at times of stress (deadlines, meetings at work) where MO (more recently PMO) has been my self-medication for many years. But it takes my time, uses up my energy and just increases the stress - duuuh!

I am also having real difficulty with compulsive/intrusive thinking, because I have always been able to create my own fantasies, not just look at P - and they really do pop into my head without me even thinking about it. I have to shout "No! Stop! No!" in my head to stop them taking on a life of their own.

How do we get like this? So easy to start, so hard to stop.