AXELLENT819
Member
Not really sure how to begin, but ill just start by telling my story.
As of 2/1/21, I admitted to myself that I had PIED (Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction).
I guess the first time that I was exposed to pornography was around the age of 6 or 7 years old. The screen was hypnotizing and I couldn't look away even though I had no idea what they were doing at the time. It didn't do anything to me sexually but it was fascinating to watch and to see how two people interact with each other. About 6 years later (age 12), I discovered masturbation. One day I was alone at home and was looking for answers for homework on the internet, until a switch flipped and my focus for homework veered towards curiosity of googling definition of words, such as, dick, pussy, sex, cock, etc....the list goes on. Surfing the internet led me to advertisements of the "Fleshlight" and that was when I had my first instructional video of masturbating. So that night as I was in the shower, it happened. I had my first orgasm. Going forward, I would masturbate once a week to porn while I was home alone. I would find every opportunity to stay home alone just to masturbate. It went from once a week to twice a week and on and on, the amount of sessions increased. Sometimes I would masturbate to porn and orgasm 5 times in one day. I didn't think anything of it because it felt so good. I didn't know it would lead me to a path of darkness.
At the age of 17 is when I lost my virginity. The very first session for sex, I did not get Hard. I was obviously nervous, for it being my first time. We brushed it off and tried it the next weekend. For this next session, I was Hard as a rock and it was amazing. We would have sex about once a week but that didn't stop me from masturbating to porn the other 6 days. I ended up getting into a relationship with my partner and the first 2 years everything was great, sex was good, but still masturbating to porn from time to time. At about the 3rd year of our relationship, I noticed, I wouldn't get hard. We brushed it off thinking it was stress with school and work. But I was still masturbating about every other day, if not more. We somehow ended up with an "Open relationship." The excitement, of seeing others got me very turned on. But when it was time to perform with another person, I could not get erect. It was the same thing, over and over, with different partners for many years. I would be able to perform with my partner in my current relationship, but not all the time. But with other sexual partners, getting erect was not going to happen.
I am now 25 and on 2/1/21, I just bought a new car. I was excited to show it off. I hit up one of my Fuck Buddy to show off the car. I drive over there from the dealership, knowing I wouldn't be showing off just my car. Keep in mind, I've had a few sexual encounters with this person and every single time, NO ERECTION. I get there and we give each other long hugs, for I have not seen my fuck buddy in over a year. We go for a drive, chit chat, and catch up. We get back to the apartment and immediately started kissing and taking our clothes off. Got in bed and.....well you guess it, Nothing happened. I was frustrated and didn't know what was wrong with me. I did some searching and came across the Reboot Nation on Youtube. I took the test the Gabe suggested. I would watch porn and had been able to get an erection immediately. But then, when I tried masturbating without any visual stimulus, nothing happened, not even a semi-erection.
This is when I started watching all the educational videos I could get my hands on and figure out what was wrong with me. Today Is 2/4/21 and I am on day 3 of NOFAP.
Journal Log 2/4/21
-I am on day 3 of Reboot. Last night I had a dream that I was jerking off to porn. It felt so real. I didn't have a wet dream, but I woke up with a morning wood (The past week I didn't get any morning wood). I got scared I was going to relapse and started to be more serious about my PIED. I signed up for Reboot Nation to start a journal.
-I deleted any temptations I would have on my phone (tumblr, twitter, cleared my porn history, etc...)
-I'm trying to figure out what I could possibly do for a hobby to distract me from my urges.
-My partner does not know about my problem. I plan on letting it all out tonight.
As of 2/1/21, I admitted to myself that I had PIED (Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction).
I guess the first time that I was exposed to pornography was around the age of 6 or 7 years old. The screen was hypnotizing and I couldn't look away even though I had no idea what they were doing at the time. It didn't do anything to me sexually but it was fascinating to watch and to see how two people interact with each other. About 6 years later (age 12), I discovered masturbation. One day I was alone at home and was looking for answers for homework on the internet, until a switch flipped and my focus for homework veered towards curiosity of googling definition of words, such as, dick, pussy, sex, cock, etc....the list goes on. Surfing the internet led me to advertisements of the "Fleshlight" and that was when I had my first instructional video of masturbating. So that night as I was in the shower, it happened. I had my first orgasm. Going forward, I would masturbate once a week to porn while I was home alone. I would find every opportunity to stay home alone just to masturbate. It went from once a week to twice a week and on and on, the amount of sessions increased. Sometimes I would masturbate to porn and orgasm 5 times in one day. I didn't think anything of it because it felt so good. I didn't know it would lead me to a path of darkness.
At the age of 17 is when I lost my virginity. The very first session for sex, I did not get Hard. I was obviously nervous, for it being my first time. We brushed it off and tried it the next weekend. For this next session, I was Hard as a rock and it was amazing. We would have sex about once a week but that didn't stop me from masturbating to porn the other 6 days. I ended up getting into a relationship with my partner and the first 2 years everything was great, sex was good, but still masturbating to porn from time to time. At about the 3rd year of our relationship, I noticed, I wouldn't get hard. We brushed it off thinking it was stress with school and work. But I was still masturbating about every other day, if not more. We somehow ended up with an "Open relationship." The excitement, of seeing others got me very turned on. But when it was time to perform with another person, I could not get erect. It was the same thing, over and over, with different partners for many years. I would be able to perform with my partner in my current relationship, but not all the time. But with other sexual partners, getting erect was not going to happen.
I am now 25 and on 2/1/21, I just bought a new car. I was excited to show it off. I hit up one of my Fuck Buddy to show off the car. I drive over there from the dealership, knowing I wouldn't be showing off just my car. Keep in mind, I've had a few sexual encounters with this person and every single time, NO ERECTION. I get there and we give each other long hugs, for I have not seen my fuck buddy in over a year. We go for a drive, chit chat, and catch up. We get back to the apartment and immediately started kissing and taking our clothes off. Got in bed and.....well you guess it, Nothing happened. I was frustrated and didn't know what was wrong with me. I did some searching and came across the Reboot Nation on Youtube. I took the test the Gabe suggested. I would watch porn and had been able to get an erection immediately. But then, when I tried masturbating without any visual stimulus, nothing happened, not even a semi-erection.
This is when I started watching all the educational videos I could get my hands on and figure out what was wrong with me. Today Is 2/4/21 and I am on day 3 of NOFAP.
Journal Log 2/4/21
-I am on day 3 of Reboot. Last night I had a dream that I was jerking off to porn. It felt so real. I didn't have a wet dream, but I woke up with a morning wood (The past week I didn't get any morning wood). I got scared I was going to relapse and started to be more serious about my PIED. I signed up for Reboot Nation to start a journal.
-I deleted any temptations I would have on my phone (tumblr, twitter, cleared my porn history, etc...)
-I'm trying to figure out what I could possibly do for a hobby to distract me from my urges.
-My partner does not know about my problem. I plan on letting it all out tonight.