My Reboot Journal
Hello, I am 23 years old and I have been addicted since my fasting age. I am not a good english speaker but I'll do my best.
Little story: I started when I came across it at a very young
age in a grown-up's phone and I haven't gotten rid of it since.
At the high school, I spent entire nights downloading just that with friends.
Very spaced clean periods, months.
Last year was still good.
I am a student, no girlfriend and too involved in a lot of commitments. At the point where I go out around 7 am I come home around 9 pm almost every day except Sunday. I don't entertain myself very often, no sport. As a family, we don't talk about sexuality.
I have a very strict, really stressful parents.
This year it's just chaos, I relapse every month from March until last night. I was clean every 2 weeks then fell back. And when I fell back I stayed there a little longer than before in terms of hours and days but with a lot more hard.
I lamented so much about myself, I was practically paralyzed on the physical level (not too much going out), intellectual, social (I feel like I am losing my friendships), etc. I suspended some of my activities, telling myself that I was not worth it.
I often watch on the phone (I recently have free Internet), rarely on a machine. I don't like to watch the same video twice. So when I came back to surf I got tired of seeing the same videos. So I watched tons of it.
I tried several methods without success (actually when I got clean, well I gave up my measurements).
I even thought of extremist methods (No longer using the internet or the phone) but hey, I got back to reality.
I have 2 young girls who I like to be with at the University. I intend to go out with one of them.
I read a lot about NOFAP, even the statistics.
I know the consequences but lately it's like this I'm not even afraid of it anymore.
Some symptoms
- lack of discipline
- not too social
- Decreased attention, memory (I start to forget quickly and it starts to be noticed by everyone), decrease in self-esteem
- Difficulty making a decision, it frustrates me then I spend a long time until chance decides or I make a hasty decision.
My goal: I want to be clean firstly for three months ( 90 days )
- I don't want to waste my life like that, whether it's health, my relationships, my studies, my future family, etc.
- Recover my relationship with God
- Be clean throughout the next year
- Gain self-confidence
- Maintain a real romantic relationship
- Succeed in my studies
- Why not in a longer time help people to come out as well as me.
My plan :
1st Step: Clean four a month (January)
- Studing
- Draw up a certain number of principles, preventive measures, Circumstances that trigger them
- Evaluate every evening
I don't know where to start, so your tested advices will help me a lot.
But I have this strong conviction that with this program I will do better results.
Greetings!
Hello, I am 23 years old and I have been addicted since my fasting age. I am not a good english speaker but I'll do my best.
Little story: I started when I came across it at a very young
age in a grown-up's phone and I haven't gotten rid of it since.
At the high school, I spent entire nights downloading just that with friends.
Very spaced clean periods, months.
Last year was still good.
I am a student, no girlfriend and too involved in a lot of commitments. At the point where I go out around 7 am I come home around 9 pm almost every day except Sunday. I don't entertain myself very often, no sport. As a family, we don't talk about sexuality.
I have a very strict, really stressful parents.
This year it's just chaos, I relapse every month from March until last night. I was clean every 2 weeks then fell back. And when I fell back I stayed there a little longer than before in terms of hours and days but with a lot more hard.
I lamented so much about myself, I was practically paralyzed on the physical level (not too much going out), intellectual, social (I feel like I am losing my friendships), etc. I suspended some of my activities, telling myself that I was not worth it.
I often watch on the phone (I recently have free Internet), rarely on a machine. I don't like to watch the same video twice. So when I came back to surf I got tired of seeing the same videos. So I watched tons of it.
I tried several methods without success (actually when I got clean, well I gave up my measurements).
I even thought of extremist methods (No longer using the internet or the phone) but hey, I got back to reality.
I have 2 young girls who I like to be with at the University. I intend to go out with one of them.
I read a lot about NOFAP, even the statistics.
I know the consequences but lately it's like this I'm not even afraid of it anymore.
Some symptoms
- lack of discipline
- not too social
- Decreased attention, memory (I start to forget quickly and it starts to be noticed by everyone), decrease in self-esteem
- Difficulty making a decision, it frustrates me then I spend a long time until chance decides or I make a hasty decision.
My goal: I want to be clean firstly for three months ( 90 days )
- I don't want to waste my life like that, whether it's health, my relationships, my studies, my future family, etc.
- Recover my relationship with God
- Be clean throughout the next year
- Gain self-confidence
- Maintain a real romantic relationship
- Succeed in my studies
- Why not in a longer time help people to come out as well as me.
My plan :
1st Step: Clean four a month (January)
- Studing
- Draw up a certain number of principles, preventive measures, Circumstances that trigger them
- Evaluate every evening
I don't know where to start, so your tested advices will help me a lot.
But I have this strong conviction that with this program I will do better results.
Greetings!