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Laura:
Hi,
I'm not even sure I have a porn addiction or problem so I need you guys to help me :).
I don't know exactly when I started watching, but I'm guessing I started around the age of 17/18 years old. I was already masturbating two three years before that. I'm now 21 and I'm still a virgin. For the first time I took things further with a guy and I wasn't turned on! This happened 4 times. I guess I am already so conditioned to get orgasms through watching porn and masturbating that now I'm unable to get turned on by a guy. Ok I have been somewhat turned on by him and when he touched me, but never could I achieve an orgasm with him. So I googled and found this website. And now I haven't watched porn and haven't masturbated for 10 days. But my libido is so low and it has been even before i stopped the porn.

I have read a lot of stories now, and I'm never watching porn again. I only watched very graphic porn in the end because those were the only sorts of porn I could het turned on by. This is because I think i'm addicted. So I've started a reboot. And I could use some insight from people who have had the same experiences.

thank you!

Yelashade:
Hi Laura,

Welcome to the Forum! I think you're in a much better position than most (such as me because I've been watching P for longer) because you (think you) started around 17/18 and have been watching it for around 3/4 years (obsessively, I assume). It's great that you've come to the conclusion of cutting porn out of your life for good, now you can just focus on your reboot and bettering yourself as a person. The low libido is simply part of the withdrawal process, that will change soon :). I'd suggest you go hard mode so that you completely withdraw your thoughts from porn and you can enjoy any future sexual encounters much more thoroughly. In the meantime, find a hobby! Set your goals out and work towards them and become independent! Oh and keep a journal on here, it's great to look back at your progress after some time and how you've changed.

I know I'm a guy, but P does not discriminate against the genders. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck on your 90 days! :)

Viper:
Welcome-
You're among peers as there are women your age who contribute to the forum.
I'm not female but we can certainly all learn from each other and grow.
Now I have to ask about your situation and the guy you were willing to step things up with;

You say you're not getting turned on when trying to be intimate.
Do you two make out a lot and if you do, is there a tense passion there
or does it seem like work?

I ask because I knew something was wrong with me when I stopped enjoying kissing.
And then when it came to actual sex with the same significant other, I barely got it up which is something I'm
definitely not used to. Sure enough, I later found out that I fell victim to PIED.

Laura:
We do make out a lot. I like kissing him, but I don't get turned on by it, and I don't LOVE it. which I did have with the previous guy I dated. But that was a year ago. Going further does feel like work after 15 minutes, because I feel rushed to get turned on. And because I think I'm desensitized it takes all the fun out of the experience. :( Which is sad because I do like this guy.

Yelashade:
Laura,

Take it slow; just focus on kissing, touching, feeling. Don't worry about the sex for now. Let your mind focus on him and his body and not the porn induced fantasies that are coming to your head.

If you've been with this guy a while or you can trust him, basically, I would tell him about your problem. It's embarrassing, I know, but most of us don't have a partner to help with the reboot phase, so count yourself lucky! It could help speed up your recovery and push you in the right direction more efficiently; you're combining the reboot with your rewiring phase.

Best of luck! :)

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