yes I joined today. Of course I do not think I have a real problem. and it feels strange to talk about it. but i could not figure out why I had no erection when I am with a beautiful girl. I was thinking it is my age and not having good sex is gone forever. I got divorced and I think part of the problem was internet porn.
It started where I was almost to embarrassed to do phone sex, but now it has gotten much more heavy. almost to the point where I would even consider being a slave. To ease into that I would think about and look for sites where women would dominate me but in a loving way where they would be in control of my erections and I was thinking this was the answer, but I can see it is a door to being really suppressed and unhappy down the road. That is when I bumped into this website and yourbrainonporn.com. I actually started to understand the science of this and the science of a type of brainwashing that can go along with this. I am so glad I bumped into this site. it has almost gotten difficult to masturbate and com with porn. and when i have stopped for awhile real girls are starting to not be interesting. I would think not again, no erection. It gets me to the point where I am jet not interested which is so wrong. it is funny just making this decision my mind wants to continue to fantasize one last time and of course it is always one last time. I did put cyber patrol on, the K-9 which should help a little bit. my biggest button is when i get stressed . I instantly want to masturbate whether I look at porn or just fantasize. It seems to me,is my way to bring down the stress . originally when i was married and our sex life was not good I cross dressed and figured if I cannot have the girl I would be the girl. it feels scary and weird to admit to this, thinking anything i write on the internet could get out. another real bitch is sometimes in real life i would look at someone in a non sexual situation and I would see pics in my mind of giving oral sex or something to a guy and why would i want that to happen. I so want to beat this. I have tried before but this will be my biggest try. I feel I have more ammo and understanding of what is really happening. another thing I feel at times is the sensation in my groin that it wants to be touched and I have not even started yet this program. Another consideration I would always take is: if I do not masturbate and am not getting regular sex that the plumbing would get backed up. I tried this once by not ejaculating for over a month and it seemed hard for it to come out so i got worried and thought i need to masturbate to make sure it stays working. yes it may seem funny all these things but it is what it is. i did masturbate yesterday thinking i want to do it one last time before i start. i got the urge again just a little while ago while just fantasying. i do hope i can make this work. hope i did not say anything wrong on this post. obviously i did not put that much attention on typing. i guess i will come back every now and then and type something
It started where I was almost to embarrassed to do phone sex, but now it has gotten much more heavy. almost to the point where I would even consider being a slave. To ease into that I would think about and look for sites where women would dominate me but in a loving way where they would be in control of my erections and I was thinking this was the answer, but I can see it is a door to being really suppressed and unhappy down the road. That is when I bumped into this website and yourbrainonporn.com. I actually started to understand the science of this and the science of a type of brainwashing that can go along with this. I am so glad I bumped into this site. it has almost gotten difficult to masturbate and com with porn. and when i have stopped for awhile real girls are starting to not be interesting. I would think not again, no erection. It gets me to the point where I am jet not interested which is so wrong. it is funny just making this decision my mind wants to continue to fantasize one last time and of course it is always one last time. I did put cyber patrol on, the K-9 which should help a little bit. my biggest button is when i get stressed . I instantly want to masturbate whether I look at porn or just fantasize. It seems to me,is my way to bring down the stress . originally when i was married and our sex life was not good I cross dressed and figured if I cannot have the girl I would be the girl. it feels scary and weird to admit to this, thinking anything i write on the internet could get out. another real bitch is sometimes in real life i would look at someone in a non sexual situation and I would see pics in my mind of giving oral sex or something to a guy and why would i want that to happen. I so want to beat this. I have tried before but this will be my biggest try. I feel I have more ammo and understanding of what is really happening. another thing I feel at times is the sensation in my groin that it wants to be touched and I have not even started yet this program. Another consideration I would always take is: if I do not masturbate and am not getting regular sex that the plumbing would get backed up. I tried this once by not ejaculating for over a month and it seemed hard for it to come out so i got worried and thought i need to masturbate to make sure it stays working. yes it may seem funny all these things but it is what it is. i did masturbate yesterday thinking i want to do it one last time before i start. i got the urge again just a little while ago while just fantasying. i do hope i can make this work. hope i did not say anything wrong on this post. obviously i did not put that much attention on typing. i guess i will come back every now and then and type something