Day 1 - The Start
Hey all, I?ve been going through a rough time recently and I?ve binged into watching porn compulsively. It?s starting to be a real problem for me as soon as I give in and watch, I?ll binge and have multiple wanks one after another. I can?t even go for a drive without having to pull over and even at work sometimes I?ll struggle with myself to not run to the toilet and crack one out.
It?s got to the point where I would now rather watch porn than have sex with my girlfriend. This in turn has made me start questioning my own sexuality as I no longer want real sex and also have found myself being very particular with the kind of content I would consume. This tends to include a story line of women cheating, and her being treated quite violently and of course in the majority of porn videos, this includes the girl getting fucked by an oversized cock.
Watching a beautiful girl have sex isn?t enough for me, I need to her want it badly and to be a filthy slut in order to get that extra thrill.
I am not someone who has escalated into watching gay porn, I have tested myself in my confusion but quite frankly find it gross and uncomfortable to watch.
You would think this would be enough to reassure me of my orientation, but the fact I wank to a women getting fucked by another man has really been playing on my mind for months.
It?s never been a problem for me before lockdown happened due to COVID 19. I?ve always identified as being straight, getting romantic feelings towards girls, getting nervous when speaking to them, noticing their beauty, and only ever desiring to build my life around a lifelong relationship with one. Even throughout years of watching porn of heterosexual sex, I didn?t really think twice about it. I have never really felt disgusted by watching a woman give a blowjob or her being fucked by a penis but nor have I for what I can remember ever had a sexual craving for one myself or the desired to be with a man sexually or romantically.
I have started to realise that realistically anyone who watches porn, has morphed their sexuality to find other people fucking sexually stimulating and therefore every man out there is a cuck.
For months I?ve been so confused and overthinking everything due to countless forums from people saying that all porn does is help you find out who you truly are sexually and it?s a great platform to explore these things. This has caused me to binge on porn and not care enough to stop because this kind of content was ?Who I truly was? and there was no point stopping.
Well this is all great, however whatever I am sexually, consuming this content doesn?t help me because I?m wasting my life way watching videos of unrealistically beautiful women pretending that they love being violently sexually abused. As stimulating as this might be for me, these pixels on the screen will never love me back.
I am so done with all the questions and the endless binging on porn content. I?ve tried to stop but has been hard because I?ve been convinced by things I?ve read that all I?m doing is running away from who I truly am.
The truth is, I don?t care who I am anymore and I?m not stopping porn based off the fact that I?m scared of who I might be.
I am stopping porn because it?s the only way I can be free from being a slave to a computer screen and to enjoy a happy, interment relationship with the girl that I love.
If anyone has any tips please share them! Thanks
Hey all, I?ve been going through a rough time recently and I?ve binged into watching porn compulsively. It?s starting to be a real problem for me as soon as I give in and watch, I?ll binge and have multiple wanks one after another. I can?t even go for a drive without having to pull over and even at work sometimes I?ll struggle with myself to not run to the toilet and crack one out.
It?s got to the point where I would now rather watch porn than have sex with my girlfriend. This in turn has made me start questioning my own sexuality as I no longer want real sex and also have found myself being very particular with the kind of content I would consume. This tends to include a story line of women cheating, and her being treated quite violently and of course in the majority of porn videos, this includes the girl getting fucked by an oversized cock.
Watching a beautiful girl have sex isn?t enough for me, I need to her want it badly and to be a filthy slut in order to get that extra thrill.
I am not someone who has escalated into watching gay porn, I have tested myself in my confusion but quite frankly find it gross and uncomfortable to watch.
You would think this would be enough to reassure me of my orientation, but the fact I wank to a women getting fucked by another man has really been playing on my mind for months.
It?s never been a problem for me before lockdown happened due to COVID 19. I?ve always identified as being straight, getting romantic feelings towards girls, getting nervous when speaking to them, noticing their beauty, and only ever desiring to build my life around a lifelong relationship with one. Even throughout years of watching porn of heterosexual sex, I didn?t really think twice about it. I have never really felt disgusted by watching a woman give a blowjob or her being fucked by a penis but nor have I for what I can remember ever had a sexual craving for one myself or the desired to be with a man sexually or romantically.
I have started to realise that realistically anyone who watches porn, has morphed their sexuality to find other people fucking sexually stimulating and therefore every man out there is a cuck.
For months I?ve been so confused and overthinking everything due to countless forums from people saying that all porn does is help you find out who you truly are sexually and it?s a great platform to explore these things. This has caused me to binge on porn and not care enough to stop because this kind of content was ?Who I truly was? and there was no point stopping.
Well this is all great, however whatever I am sexually, consuming this content doesn?t help me because I?m wasting my life way watching videos of unrealistically beautiful women pretending that they love being violently sexually abused. As stimulating as this might be for me, these pixels on the screen will never love me back.
I am so done with all the questions and the endless binging on porn content. I?ve tried to stop but has been hard because I?ve been convinced by things I?ve read that all I?m doing is running away from who I truly am.
The truth is, I don?t care who I am anymore and I?m not stopping porn based off the fact that I?m scared of who I might be.
I am stopping porn because it?s the only way I can be free from being a slave to a computer screen and to enjoy a happy, interment relationship with the girl that I love.
If anyone has any tips please share them! Thanks