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I start my workday in my home office as I always do. I turn on my computers and check my emails. There are no meetings or conference calls this morning, so I turn to my other screen. Except I have deleted all my porn and cam accounts and messenger contacts.

My mind is focused on one thing. My body is itching for me to shed my clothes, turn on my webcam, stroke my penis, and get to the edge. I need to get back to work. If this were last week, work would have to wait. I would be hard and edging on some cam site. I would not let myself cum because I think that I have to keep it for my wife, that cumming is why I cannot get it up for her. But if I met up with a buddy like me, I would feel lucky. If I met a woman naked on cam I considered having hit the jackpot and blow a big load.

But there is no webcam, no accounts. I am thinking of one thing only – my penis. Work still has to wait. I take off my clothes and do a few naked yoga poses. Slow myself down. At least ten minutes. Try to get my penis out of my brain.

I did not touch my penis at all. I get up and put on a loose tshirt and sweats so the clothing puts no weight on my body.

I think I feel better. I think I can get to work, now. It is still early day 3.

Ages 40 and up / A new member, a new path
« on: October 25, 2016, 09:54:58 AM »
I am 67 years old and I believe I have PIED. I still have sex with my wife, although very infrequently. I have blamed this on menopause, but over the last year or so I have come to realize I have a serious problem. My ability to maintain an erection beyond the first moments of foreplay and my refractory period have degraded significantly. I no longer get an erection when masturbating unless there is porn or a webcam. I have tried to justify this all as due to my age. The stories here tell me something different. I am encouraged by what I have read here and hope that writing my story will help me and maybe others in the recovery process.

I didn’t masturbate for the first 25 years of my marriage – we consistently had good sex 3-4 times a week. I re-discovered masturbation when menopause started interfering with the frequency of our sex. A few years afterward, we moved to a new home where I have been working from in a private office. In this situation, I discovered the ease of access to web porn and found myself strangely drawn to it during my work hours. I have particularly enjoyed photos, and started masturbating to these images, and found that after 2 days’ rest, I could have good sex with my wife. It soon became an almost daily passion during the work week, and Sunday afternoon became our lovemaking time.

This started about 10 years ago. About 5 years ago, I discovered webcamming, and began to enjoy masturbating on cam My typical workday starts by opening my office email, a tumblr porn feed, and three or four camming sites.  I made so-called friends on-line, mostly guys, and justified that guys need to have a jerk-off buddy, especially as women start to lose their libido. In fact, more and more I have been trying to justify my actions when all it does is satisfy a growing addiction. This addiction has resulted in my losing my ability to have regular and satisfying sex and has often interfered with my job.

Today, I still get hard during foreplay, but it only lasts a minute or two. My wife has said not to worry, it is in my head. However, I can get and maintain an erection online. It seems that pretty much all the other symptoms of PIED apply.

This site is a beacon of hope for me. While writing this post I have gone through all my online porn and camming accounts and deleted them one by one. This is just day one.

Thanks to Gabe and everyone here for your wisdom and effort. I look forward to a future when I can support others at some point.

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