For the Future Me.

R

Rahs

Member
I am a porn addict. I masturbate excessively when i'm stressed while watching porn. I have tried many times to stop myself but really can't resist the temptation. The momentary dopamine release is too addictive. I really sink into that pleasure but as the moments pass i really feel guilty about it and this guilt spreads to all the elements of my life, whether be it Social Interactions, Career Advancement, Eating Healthy, Workouts etc.

This thread is for the future me. This is a commitment for a better life. I want to change and i will commit to it.

I promise myself to - Eliminate porn from my life as well as the momentarily pleasure that is seek through Masturabation.

Will post the progress everyday.

Thanks.
 
dont_punch_grandpa

dont_punch_grandpa

Member
Here's to getting our lives back on track my friend. A focused and more energized you on the important things is a better future. Best of luck on your road
 
R

Rahs

Member
dont_punch_grandpa said:
Here's to getting our lives back on track my friend. A focused and more energized you on the important things is a better future. Best of luck on your road
Click to expand...
I'm really grateful the encouragement, My friend!
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 1

Had Cravings to masturbate. It has become routine to have such cravings. I willfully fought but will power won't help every time. It is limited. I will try to incorporate something else whenever i will have a craving to masturbate while watching porn.

I'm Grateful :
To myself for trying
To the community on reboot nation for inspiring me to keep moving forward.

 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 2,

No cravings as such. The day went pretty well without any guilt but there is this underlying fear, fear of failure, which has kept me anxious throughout the day. I think this will eventually fade away. To motivate further i have been reading success stories from this forum. I came along a person named @UKGuy  (http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=18700.0). In his story he has talked about "Identifying the Probable Triggers" and "Building Walls of Resistance". I have been working upon them. I have started Dual Journaling. One in the morning using a pen and a paper and One at night through this forum. I believe, it will really help me to reinforce my goals of Zero Porn and Zero Masturbation.

I'm Grateful to myself for trying to change and to the people of this forum.

Thanks.
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 3,

The day was heavy and so was the stress. Identifying triggers and Building walls is one thing but keeping the act in check is another thing. It seems that the habit for masturbation has become deep rooted because every time my imagination runs wild and i daydream about it. I tried to replace it with an activity that i like but the stress keeps piling up. Further, as a student it is high time for me to prepare for the job market but being stressed up is not helping. Anyway, No point in whining.

Always Remember:

Be like a rocky promontory against which the restless surf continually pounds; it stands fast while the churning sea is lulled to sleep at its feet. I hear you say, "How unlucky that this should happen to me!" Not at all! Say instead, "How lucky that I am not broken by what has happened and am not afraid of what is about to happen. The same blow might have struck anyone, but not many would have absorbed it without capitulation or complaint."

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book IV.

@dont_punch_grandpa Lets win our battles. Goodluck to you.

I'm grateful to myself for trying to change and to the community of this forum for inspiring me to change.
 
K

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Aurelius is great. Stoicism in general is very useful. Keep focusing on other things, it helps to reduce thoughts about p.
 
W

worldlit4213

Active Member
Hey Rahs! I'm a student trying to overcome pornography. I started my efforts to stop after I became a Christian a year ago, and have had bumpy success but am trying to finally overcome it. Having a recovery journal and an accountability partner had really helped to keep me in line, I'd be willing to be your accountability partner if you have a porn-blocking app like Covenant Eyes or something, or just a friend to talk to when struggling. There's a (I think free) "Strive21 program" that guides you through your first 21 days of porn-detox. I found it really helpful and I just continue cycling through it. Not sure if you're religious, but praying to God for chastity and for help from the Holy Spirit to overcome the desires of the flesh, and just focusing on God helps me a ton.

I hope you're doing well! Keep going! (I'm on day 25). 
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 4,

Today was a great day. I did all my assignments well within time. Obviously, i had cravings to Masturbate but i was timely able to identify the triggers and hence was able to sail through. Building walls of Resistance do help. I am forever grateful to @UkGuy (http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=18700.0).

But Remember :

He who rushes ahead does not go far.

Lao Tzu

@k-fff  - Yes he (Aurelius) is, always helps me to get out of slumps.

@worldlit4213 - 25 days is a great achievement. An inspiration to many. Though i'm not keen about  using apps or programs i think we can be accountability partners. Thank You for reaching out.

I'm grateful to myself for trying to change and to this community for inspiring me to change.
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 5,

Another Great day. Everything (almost) was in check. I'm not sure about confidence but i think i'm able to express my thoughts better but i know i can't be complacent. I still have a long way to go.

I'm grateful to myself for trying to change and to this helpful community for inspiring me to change.
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 6,

I thought this weekend might cause a relapse but i went out with friends and spent almost all my day. It was great. Forgot about all the porn and the cravings. In short, it was an active and a healthy day but again i need to be always stay alert. I Need to build up better Walls with greater defences.

I'm grateful to this life and to this community.
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 7,

First of all Cheers to me! for completing the first week.

Today, i was really craving for masturbation. The rush was too high and whenever i found a hot image of any women while browsing on the internet (the advertisements and many other sources that seemed harmless) i was aroused. I controlled those urges by taking a break from the work but the residuals remained. I still have these craving but i'm trying to replace them with something else (binge watching youtube).  This is really affecting my productivity and worst of all these residuals gets diluted into every aspect of life but i'm gonna be strong, i won't falter.

@BlerS - Thanks for the encouragement my friend. Goodluck to you too.

I'm grateful to myself and to this community.
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 8,

It's kind of funny because i think my imagination has become quite vivid and original. I have been fantasizing about every women i see. Be it on internet, TV, Books covers :) etc. Cravings are quite high but i'm dealing with the triggers and Walls are really helpful but i don't know how many days i'm gonna last. I'm really happy that i haven't seen any porn or have maturbated but masturbation was a stress coping mechanism for me and i believe the stress is piling up. One evidence i can see  is that the intensity of mood swings are increasing but adding to that i'm also able to identify the swings better because there is this reduced brain fog. So, if can i can identify i can deal with it.

The Battle goes on!

I'm grateful to myself for trying to change and to this community for inspiring me to change.
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 9,

Same as yesterday. I think one way to handle stress is to work out. It might also help me to stabilize the mood swings. Working out requires following routines and building up habits. Lets see how it turns out.

I'm grateful to me and this community.
 
W

worldlit4213

Active Member
Working out definitely helps. It helps me deal with morning urges because the first thing I do when I wake up is get ready and go to the gym, so my mind can't be drawn to sexual thoughts. Physical activity is huge!
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 10,

It's becoming difficult, very difficult!! I'm feeling hollow inside. It is as if i have no purpose in life. I'm nothing more than a shadowy image which is slowly fading away. Did few exercises but its still blue and gloomy. Fear seems to be present at every moment and the swings have become extreme.  It is getting scarier, these feelings are incomprehensible but i have to remember that why i'm doing this. This is for the Future Me! The better Me! I'm doing this for a better Social life. I'm doing this for a better Financial life. I'm doing this for a Healthier life. I'm doing this for all my dreams and aspirations which were suppressed by these momentarily pleasures. I'm doing this for that person who was once great and never backed down on his words and who always stood firm to his convictions and ideals.

Cheers for the strength in you!
This too shall pass (i don't know when)

@worldlit4213 - Thanks mate! and goodluck for your endeavours as well.

I'm grateful for this life, to me and to this community.
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 11,
Owing to what happened yesterday. I contemplated a bit in the morning and tried to do meditation. It kind of helped me to calm down and also with the reduced brain fog I think I can observe the thought process behind the mood swings. If I can identify then I think can work on them. The urges are in check, leaving a few healthy imaginations. Free from porn and masturbation till now.

I'm grateful to me and this forum.
 
R

Rahs

Member
Day 12,

The day went well. The cravings were usual but were in control.

I'm grateful to me and this community.
 
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