Journals > Ages 40 and up

Breaking the Chains

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CyrusG:
Good morning all,

I am new to the site and did post a lengthy intro on the main forum section. I will make this one a bit shorter or at least will attempt to.
I'm 42 yr old father of 2, currently going through divorce. Like many I've read on here, my story started way back as a young teen and then gradually became an addiction. I've known within the last few years that it was a serious problem however I did not have the will power to address it. Instead I just kept making excuses to myself and  to the women that were in my life sexually. I was even at one point afraid to tell my therapist the degree as to which it over my life. I think the biggest thing for me was the realization after reading articles and such that this was serious. It's not just a fluke that the enormous amount of men in particular are experiencing the affects of PIED and other things associated with the subject matter.
I know there is a strong emphases on PIED but there is so much more that is going on. I realized that I to had become numb mentally to the beauty of a meaningful healthy relationship with a woman. the industry had taken another victim (me) for the last time. I used to be a different man back then. I respected the bond between a woman and man and I felt it inside when I really loved that person. We deny ourselves the ability to be loved and to love. Without that how can that manifest into physical love? It's P induced attraction, its the act 2, scene 3 induced moment we want with her. It's not her we really want and only what we want her to be in our twisted mind state. one can not have both worlds.
At any rate, I'm starting my journal here and although i look forward to getting back to the man I once was, I know this will be a tough journey ahead. So this is DAY 1 without P.... I know I will be fine for the first week or so but after I start feeling the tank getting full again, the real challenge will start physically and mentally. I do appreciate that there are "real men" out there like myself who only want to better themselves. I look forward to supporting everyone here and for your support as well.

fcjl8:
Congratulations sir on choosing to break free from porn addiction!

This is a bold decision but so worthwhile!

Wishing you all the best!

jstatca:
Welcome CyrusG,

I'm relatively new to these forums as well (just under 2 weeks) but already feel a calming presence being here. I wish you the same tranquility.

This is a good place to be and you are in good company with many insightful and supportive people that are willing to help with  the common challenge we are battling.

Stay strong...

fcjl8:
Hi Cyrus,

I just read the truly great wisdom and words you wrote at Cosmo's journal.

Great insight and purpose there. How are you doing on your journey?

The Dude Wannabe:
Cyrus,
     Glad you've joined the group.  You are truly NOT alone in this problem or the journey to freedom from P.  Don't took too far ahead in your journey; just look at tomorrow.  I've psyched myself out a couple times looking ahead and getting a feeling that I was fighting a loosing battle, then my worries manifested themselves and I suffered a set back.  Now I've learned to just look at today and tomorrow.  Play the short game and every once in a while look up and be amazed at how far you've come!  IF you suffer a set back (this isn't permission to do so, just contingency planning), like many do, just get back in the saddle with renewed purpose and learn from what caused you to falter.
     We're all here to support each other.   Give support, get support and we'll all be better for it!
Glad your here man!

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