Journals > Ages 40 and up

Virgin at 40

(1/2) > >>

This may be bit alarming. I never had intercourse in my life due to pornography. Since 15, I started masturbating and being raised in christian values, I never dated or had sex in my teens. I used to masturbate thinking about movie stars mostly. Once I got exposed to porn, I have been masturbating ever since. The variety and the flawless babes gave me at most pleasure. Due to OCD and anxiety, I had issues to deal with as well. Porn was great outlet to escape from mental stress. I also became a workaholic too. I used to be turned on only be hot women and would stare at hot girls when I go out anywhere. I would sometimes jerk off to women I liked at work.
         I went to prostitutes on 5 occasions but never got an stiff erection. I thought this may be due to fact that I am not emotionally turned on with a kiss. I was confident that when I meet the girl of my dreams, I would not have problem.
         But due to lack of experience, my dating coach suggested to get some experience and go out with any women. For the first time in my life at age of 41, I had a date with a woman about my age. She is bit overweight (not obsese) and I didn't get any sexual excitement.
         I hit upon a youtube video, stating link between ED and Porn. It sent jitters down my body. I immediately stopped masturbating and it has been 1 day already. I have 1TB of pron in my hard drvie. I plan to NOT watch porn and see how it goes.  (I plan to watch these gorgeous babes when I am 60. maybe).

I think Porn is responsible for
1. Not dating women due to pleasurable outlet I can get on demand from my laptop
2. Caused erection problems with Prostitutes
Any suggestions and tips are welcome

npfm, Welcome. The common thread around here is that porn has robbed people of months, years, even decades of their lives. Some people have been able to move forward with their lives, meet and marry an SO, have children, etc., all while still in the grips of P addiction. Some people have chosen a different path. Either way, all who come here see PMO addiction as an unhealthy dependency  and want to change their lives for the better. My advice, FWIW: stick around the forum and read and post often. The early reboot period is filled with challenges, so it helps to get perspective from people who have been there before or who are there now. Whatever you do, don't give up on this fight. Best of luck to you, friend.

We all have issues on here.
The good news is that we can work things through.
But it's going to take an invested effort and patience.
If you do move forward with rebooting,
my first piece of advice is make a bold statement by deleting
all your porn. One of the hardest things to do but it's such
a declaration of your commitment to be porn free.

Welcome npfm, don't worry about what's been, it only matters what will be. Read on yourbrainonporn, read people's stories to know that this process is not linear, but when adhered to most definitely is rewarding.

My Best Wishes to you for your journey, may it be one of comparative ease


So I'm thinking you probably had some time to read some of the other journals or some of your responses.
What are your thoughts about what you've learned thus far?


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version