Journals > Ages 40 and up

"Self-Mastery"- A Journal

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Freethinker:
Hello everyone. Some of you may remember me from YBR. I’m not there anymore. I had a few attempts at a journal over there with a few streaks of no PMO, with 53 days being the longest.

LTE, Midge, fcjl8 : You guys have blazed some trails at YBR and I have the utmost respect for what you’ve accomplished.  I’m here partly because you guys are here but also because I need a fresh start.  I believe you guys can be anchors here and lend much credibility to reboot nation .

Gabe, the same can be said of you. As an older guy I want to say you’re a great example for your generation.  Thanks for starting up this forum and providing a place for a fresh start for some of us. Your journey deserves respect and admiration. 

Here’s the reader’s digest version of my story: I started humping my pillow probably at 6 or 7 yrs. old because I liked the way it felt.  I believe I experienced prepubescent orgasms (if that’s possible). I had two older brothers so access to porn magazines came early, age 7 or so. I saw my first super 8mm “stag” film at age 12. That’s around the time that I started masturbating in earnest.  The rest of my story is not unique. Porn magazines, followed by VHS rentals and eventually internet porn. 

There’s a lot more that I can write about concerning my PMO odyssey, sex in marriage, the challenges of getting older as it relates to sexuality, etc. Throw in stress, business challenges, personal loss and it all makes for quite a season of “As My World Turns”. 

I wanted to get this journal started so I’ve at least done that. I’m realizing that “self-mastery’ does not come easy as it relates to PMO addiction. I’m ready to begin anew today, which is day 3. I tried the spreadsheet route and was convinced that was the best way to track progress. It wasn’t for me because it allows for weakness. As painful as it is to reset the counter, I will not beat myself up for having to. I will try to be my best friend and forgive myself for “temporary” failures as they may come.

 As I've said in other journals, sometimes I don't feel like I have much to say so I don't write. That's probably not the best approach. Maybe just coming on here and creating a "stream of consciousness" missive is what is required at times. I don't know. I'll try to be transparent concerning myself and helpful when commenting to others. I just don't want to be a "bore". Thanks for reading. To be continued……

midge:
Hey, FT. It's good to see you here. I've not been terribly active here yet, but it's a good group of guys and I do like the accountability of maintaining a presence somewhere. I need all the good sense and bracing reminders I can get. Overall, though, things are going well. You sound hopeful and determined, and we're lucky to have you with us. Take care, bud.

lte:
Great to see you. Let the consciousness stream. :)

Freethinker:
Thanks midge & LTE. I'm hopeful that I can put together some streaks and eventually a sustained period of rebooting.

lte:

--- Quote from: Freethinker on March 24, 2014, 08:50:34 PM ---Thanks midge & LTE. I'm hopeful that I can put together some streaks and eventually a sustained period of rebooting.

--- End quote ---
You CAN do it, man.

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