Back Again

Rick (sen_citizen) Again

Hello folks.  It?s been a long time since I posted on this site.  I feel compelled because of what happened this past weekend.  First, let me say that I?ve got to be one of the oldest members; 67 soon to be 68.

Anyway, last Friday I was looking forward to a 3-day weekend.  I knew I was going to PMO as I was driving home and I didn?t feel bad or guilty because the last time was January 3rd (2 months without).  One justification/excuse these days is to see how much volume my ejaculate is since I am a prostate cancer patient (hopefully a former one).  Another trigger was 2 very friendly ?Hi?s? from 2 very attractive women at work during the week.  So, I spent 2+ hours viewing porn before PMO.  Again, no guilt or coming down hard on myself.

Saturday arrives and I decided to spend the day doing what I feel like instead of the usual grocery shopping, house cleaning, and other work.  Not long after the cable repairman left, I thought ?why not see if I can produce ejaculate the day after PMO?ing??  Answer, yes, but after spending 5 hours watching porn, and the caveat being I did not get hard.  I must say that I felt miserable afterwards and still do as I write this on Monday.

I am going to try to be more participatory here and I hope it helps.  I also discuss this and other issues with a therapist once a month.  Take care all.
 

marco_60

Active Member
sen_citizen said:
Rick (sen_citizen) Again

.....Not long after the cable repairman left, I thought ?why not see if I can produce ejaculate the day after PMO?ing??  Answer, yes, but after spending 5 hours watching porn, and the caveat being I did not get hard.  I must say that I felt miserable afterwards and still do as I write this on Monday. ....
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Hi Rick! We are here also to watch each other's path towards a no-fap life, thus I give you my one-cent impression. You seem not sure about yourself: is it because of age? I am myself 60 and tried once before this path, and for me it had worked very well: I had again an active sexual life, with normal and sometimes copious E's. What was very important then to me can be synthesized in one word: relax. It takes time to de-wire our brain from the PMO vicious circle, but also to realize that sex is part of welfare, not welfare itself.
In any case: just go on, like all of us!
 
Yes Marco you're absolutely right.  I am not sure of myself.  Also, if anybody needs to relax, it's me.  My age matters, but not being in a relationship with a sex life probably makes me more ambivalent I believe.

Thanks for your insight.  More from me to follow.
 
Well, I've avoided looking at porn in any form since my kind of free fall last weekend.  I feel fine as I write this a week later.  I did feel anxious as the weekend approached.  Specifically, I briefly wondered if I would adopt the same lackadaisical attitude toward P that made me PMO twice last week.  But, I held on.  I just watched Gary Wilson's TED talk on P and it was a real eye opener...simple and concise explanations especially about brain modifications resulting from excessive PMO.  Very inspiring.
 
We can sure get into the habit of actually looking forward to getting home and pmoing.  It's like nothing else matters until we have wasted several hours looking for the perfect video to make everything good.  Then afterwards your like,  why did I do that...AGAIN? I'm glad your back and you can come here and get your mind off the vicious cycle.  Stay strong , and porn is no longer an option.
 
Jeez, im just watching TV and my mind is just playing games. It's like I'm just trying to find triggers to to slide back into the hole I don't want to be in. I need to go outside and get busy. Stay strong. I know what's going on and I'm not letting this happen to me again.
 
Jeez, im just watching TV and my mind is just playing games. It's like I'm just trying to find triggers to to slide back into the hole I don't want to be in. I need to go outside and get busy. Stay strong. I know what's going on and I'm not letting this happen to me again.
 
How does one deal with rising sexual tension? I awoke yesterday morning (a Saturday – no work) and had several episodes where I felt faint, even while sitting. I had a stress-filled week at work, and I felt an extreme need to release. I managed to control the urge until after I came home from grocery shopping in the early afternoon..



So I gave in. I started with looking at photos of naked women, then “progressed” to online porn until PMO. This was after 2 months of avoidance. My point is to ask, “Has anyone out there felt they had to PMO to avoid this kind of tension buildup?”. I should note that I don’t have a regular sex life or a steady partner, and am 68 years old. I also deal with OCD, which doesn’t help.



Thanks in advance for your replies.
 

jjacks

Active Member
Has anyone out there felt they had to PMO to avoid this kind of tension buildup?
The answer is probably yes, that is why we are all here. So the solution is to keep resisting, deleting your pictures and accounts so that you can work on kicking the need for porn. You seem concerned about age, but I do not think it is all that much of an issue. I was your age when I started here and now I am over 4 years porn free and as sexually happy, performing beyond what I thought a 72-year-old is capable of. Fellow boomer, we are all men and we all feel the need for release once in a while, even in our senior years. That alone should be encouraging that there is a reason to follow this reboot process. Just get rid of the porn. It is not an option!
-jj
 

Joel

Active Member
releasing tension without going to the porn (the habit that's making you get the tension in the first place) is an important hack on this journey. Meditations are good for this. Type in 'Universal man meditation' into YouTube and 2 good ones come up - they're about 10 minutes each - specifically for urges. Hope this helps.
 

marco_60

Active Member
How does one deal with rising sexual tension?
“Has anyone out there felt they had to PMO to avoid this kind of tension buildup?”.
Hi! I am 61 myself and I can confirm that we all are far from "retirement" age...I totally agree with Jjacks and Joel, in particular I also sometimes in the past practiced with success. Now I am convinced that what really helps me is to have some clear targets/motivations to undertake a reboot. For me this is the possibility of having again a complete E, which was seriously harmed by M. Not a religious belief or a more or less moralistic approach: I have a more pragmatic motivation, but this is true only for me. I believe however that if we have clear targets in our minds, then it will be easier to resist the temptations of relapse.
 
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