Stress/Anxiety=PMO

Hello all,

Day 14 here. Struggling as I right this. How sad is it that I would even PMO right in my office. Feeling anxious. Dying to PMO. Fighting the urge big time. I have made it this far. This forum has helped for sure. I would like suggestions on how you deal with it when the desire become overwhelming.

First of all, congrats on 14 days! Thats a hell of a streak.
As for how to fight the urge to PMO, heres a few techniques that worked for me:

Reflect on that feeling of disgust which drowns you after you PMO. Sitting there staring at the screen, lobotomy-eyed and drunk on dopamine. Then its all over. And what did you get out of it? Absolutely nothing. You feel like a pathetic sack of shit, right? Escpecially doing it in a public place - your head must be pretty fucked up. It was this sense of self-loathing that comes with PMO (in public,too, which I have done many times), that motivated me to never ever want to feel like that again.

Another technique I used was to write down all the things which PMO has fucked up in my life. Then a second list which details all of the things in my life that are bound to improve as a result of rebooting. The first list gave me tangible proof of the extent to which PMO has assaulted my life. The second list gave me the assurance that those things will never happen again. Keep both lists somewhere where you can see them constantly.

And finally, just the simple realization that there is absolutely nothing good that can come from PMO. Youve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.


Keep up the fine effort!

Hey man,

I hope you got through this. I know exactly how you feel. Reformed Fapper gives some really top-shelf advice here. Think about how depressed you feel when you PMO, especially after you promised yourself you wouldn't. You probably won't even enjoy it because you'll start hating yourself before you even finish.

The list is a good idea. My life is already getting better. Yours is too. Fight through this.

Not long after I wrote this message I had an O provided by my wife. I am doing all of this for her. It felt good to connect with her and let her know how badly I needed some relief. I have always allowed PMO to fill that need and we have grown apart in our sex life as a result. My hope is that by eliminating PMO and seeking that from her instead we will grow closer and have a healthier relationship. I have successfully avoided porn for 16 days now. A true record.

I was sent the message yesterday that my wife was on her period. After waking up from a nap I began to have sexual thoughts and I MO. No porn. Have I failed? What is the next step? I am being honest so I stick with the reboot program. I feel like I have made lots of progress but want to hear from everyone.

Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.

As far as I can tell there are different schools of thought here on that. As far as I'm concerned, P is the problem (for me at least) and while I'm avoiding M as well for now (and maybe permanently), I think as long as you are keeping away from P you are still succeeding. Way to go!

The pull of watching P is already seeming to get less for me, and it's only been three weeks. This is the longest I've gone without P in probably 8 years (when I went on a month-long backpacking trip and had no access).

After waking up from a nap I began to have sexual thoughts and I MO. No porn. Have I failed? What is the next step?

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I wouldnt classify that as a failure. There was no artificial stimuli so its not a relapse.
Its sometimes a great help if your partner can releive you of your sexual tensions or urges to PMO. You are lucky to have an understanding wife. If whenever you get that urge your wife can help you out. It certainly helped me. Anytime I had an urge to PMO, I delegated those urges to nailing my wife. It really helps to rewire to an actual person for whom you have affection for. It can speed up the reboot.

Congratulations on your decision to rid yourself of porn.  You've gotten some excellent advice here from others.  I would emphasize Reformed Fapper's advice that when you feel urges, just consider that all the negatives that porn brings to your life (I've actually written these down for myself on my phone and refer to them every time I get an urge, and I'm now on Day 37).  What that does is create a sense of disenchantment with PMO that replaces the reward in your brain, thus breaking the habit cycle.

Your name suggests that your porn habit is a response to anxiety.  Mine, too.  I've had much success over the last month with an app/course on breaking anxiety with mindfulness training: https://www.unwindinganxiety.com

Just a note, rewirng to your wife, should never be reduced to "nailing her"..  This would be a continuation of porn thinking.  Making love to your wife puts it in the appropriate couple bond context. 

Masturbation is a huge stress reliever but don?t over masturbate it. It?s probably just withdrawal symptoms that are making you feel that way.