48 hours. Well, 49.5, really, but who's counting. Might not sound like much, but I can't remember the last time I went that long. Something just "clicked" and I stopped. 8AM Monday morning. I finished and said "That's it. No more."
I haven't been trying, or working at it, it's just not on the list of available options anymore. My wife has known forever, and she knows it's a big part of why we're not closer. I don't know if she knows that I've stopped, but she knows I'm doing something. We're spending more time together, and things are already different. I hope my body responds quickly and things get to something more like "normal" in a few weeks.
I don't plan to post a lot, or even look at this site much. Yesterday I realized that when I think about "not watching porn" it reminds me of porn. It seems better, for me, to just focus on other things. One really interesting shift that's starting to happen: I can see women and not immediately have sexual thoughts. Well, most of the time.
I've made halfhearted attempts to stop this in the past, but this one is really different. It feels different. I'm not gritting my teeth trying to make it through a tempting episode. As soon as the thought enters my mind I just shut it down. "I don't do that". When an image pops us on my computer that used to trigger me to go find porn, I move on immediately. It's like I realized my "old friend" is really a horrible enemy that's been attacking me for decades. And I finally told him to leave me the hell alone. I'm done.
I haven't been trying, or working at it, it's just not on the list of available options anymore. My wife has known forever, and she knows it's a big part of why we're not closer. I don't know if she knows that I've stopped, but she knows I'm doing something. We're spending more time together, and things are already different. I hope my body responds quickly and things get to something more like "normal" in a few weeks.
I don't plan to post a lot, or even look at this site much. Yesterday I realized that when I think about "not watching porn" it reminds me of porn. It seems better, for me, to just focus on other things. One really interesting shift that's starting to happen: I can see women and not immediately have sexual thoughts. Well, most of the time.
I've made halfhearted attempts to stop this in the past, but this one is really different. It feels different. I'm not gritting my teeth trying to make it through a tempting episode. As soon as the thought enters my mind I just shut it down. "I don't do that". When an image pops us on my computer that used to trigger me to go find porn, I move on immediately. It's like I realized my "old friend" is really a horrible enemy that's been attacking me for decades. And I finally told him to leave me the hell alone. I'm done.