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Messages - katypie

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Partners of Rebooters and Addicts / Re: New here and need help
« on: February 07, 2021, 11:12:33 PM »
Gabe,

Thank you so so much for responding and I will definitely use your advice!

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Partners of Rebooters and Addicts / New here and need help
« on: February 04, 2021, 11:25:33 AM »
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 18 months. We work together so no one at work knows we’re dating. It wasn’t until about 4 months ago we told our parents about our relationship. They were very supportive. The first year of our relationship we weren’t “officially” dating we were more or less hanging out, having sex, and enjoying each other’s company. I dated someone else and he got hurt but the entire time I was with the other person I would think about him. I finally gave up on the one guy and told my bf I wanted to date him. My bf is currently hurt so he is not working which makes it easier for us to conceal our relationship.
Like I said we have been actually dating for about 6 months. The sex was always the best and I would look forward to it every time we would hang out. He wouldn’t want to finish because he would tell me it would make him tired the next day which was fine. He would occasionally turn me down which I thought was strange but didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until the end of November of 2020 that he told me about his porn addiction. He had been trying to quit the entire time we were together without me knowing. He educated me and we had long talks about it. I read the book so I could get to know more.
We agreed no sex (obviously) and he’s pretty open when I have questions about his reboot. He doesn’t get mad at me ever when I’m upset about the subject. He just apologizes and says it’s his fault. He always gives me an “out” because he knows it’s not fair to me (I hate it when he does this). I don’t have any animosity towards him but I can’t help get upset some days.
We don’t live together so it’s hard for me to know if he is being truthful which I think he is. I know he really wants to heal so we can have an amazing sex life. I’m fine with not having sex but occasionally I really miss it. We talk about marriage and kids so we are serious about our relationship but work is just in the way right now and adds more stress. I love him with all my heart and want to marry this man but I’m struggling with constantly being upset.

My questions:
How do I handle my emotions without being angry and upset with porn?
How can we work on this as a couple without losing the love?
Are there ways to aid in the process on my part?

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Partners of Rebooters and Addicts / Re: The love & the struggle
« on: February 03, 2021, 10:25:06 PM »
Worthy,

I am in a similar situation as well. My boyfriend was relapsing before I even knew about the PIED. He would sometimes blow me off for sex and i would take it personally until he sat me down and told me about what was going on. I understand your insecurity and you're not alone. I'm there too. I get angry and frustrated too. 

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