I'm confused. Do I have PIED? Or is it something else?

C

Confuzzled

Guest
Okay, so I'm confused...or confuzzled, as it were.

I am almost 30 years old, and over the past year, I seem to have developed sporadic ED. Sometimes I can get hard and have sex, sometimes I can't. I'll admit that I was introduced to porn at a young age, and until very recently, would edge while reading erotic literature or watching porn. I had absolutely no negative effects with this whatsoever (I guess I was lucky), and I wouldn't do it very frequently. I could also masturbate to orgasm twice in rapid succession, which I'll also admit wasn't healthy. My interests have become less vanilla as I've grown older, and I'm not a "vanilla" person, but I could easily get aroused by vanilla activity. My morning erections were reasonably consistent, and usually at least mostly hard, if not fully so.

I also have depression, and it's pretty bad. Oh, and anxiety. That, too. I also have ADHD. Wow, I'm just a total pile of crazy, when you type it out like that. That's fun. And to top it all off, I'm going to work and school full-time, so I have a lot of stress in my life, moreso than I usually have. I've been trying to find a cocktail of medication that works, and I'm currently on Pristiq (A SNRI). Every SSRI I've taken has apparently affected my libido, and I think my Pristiq was, too (although my libido was also affected pretty badly by my depression in the past year, though not before it). I've started Buproprion (that works on dopamine) within the last two weeks in addition to the Pristiq, so I'm pretty sure it hasn't really begun to "kick in" yet, though my doctor says I should be seeing some effects.

As soon as I read YBOP, my morning erections started to take a dive (it's like the Matrix, my mind makes it real), and every time I take a "are you addicted to porn?" test, it comes up almost exclusively negative. I don't look at porn at work (unless my girlfriend sent me a sexy photo or something, which I'm not sure counts), I don't stay home to look at porn. And I don't have cravings.

However, whenever I'm not "getting it up," as it were, the only way I've been able to do so is through porn. It's somewhat out there, but not crazy extreme. I've recently stopped doing that after visiting the site. However, now that I'm single, I've discussed some erotic ideas through text with another girl last night, which caused me to have an erection. However, the erection didn't last, though I remained "horny," and I later masturbated at half-mast. It actually felt better than most times at full erection.

I tried abstaining from porn and masturbation for a week (an almost infinitesimal amount of time for a reboot, I know), but rather than cravings, I just got kind of irritated that I was pent-up, even though my erections were very infrequent except for in the morning. At one point, I used PMO at the end of the week. And then after another week of no PMO, I just masturbated to orgasm. The effects were mostly the same, although the PMO erection was slightly harder and lasted longer.

I'm confused. Do I have PIED? Did it suddenly start after years of healthy sexual relations? Do you think it's the medication? My psychiatrist says my ED is probably totally psychological and not related to the medication, and lately, I've been having a pretty high amount of anxiety about my performance. And now, I'm anxious as hell that I might have PIED.

I also used to be able to remain hard for up to five minutes after ejaculating, and now I can't do that save for very rare occurrences. Is that my age catching up with me, PIED, or just depression/anxiety/medication? I know there probably aren't many definitive answers here, but...um, help? Thanks!


Note: I started a counter yesterday, even though it wasn't TECHNICALLY a PMO. Just in case.
Note 2: I HAVE used "herbal supplements" sold in certain shops to increase erections, and they work like a charm. It's been a while since I used them, though. Like, nearly a year. I heard that they don't work for some people with PIED. But I think they work with others, right?
 
C

Confuzzled

Guest
Anyone? Any ideas? I still do get morning erections most of the time, unless I'm particularly tired. Which happens with too much frequency.
 

dc6

Member
You have more consistent, and harder erections to porn than otherwise, which is dispositive on that issue once medical issues are ruled out. Just because sometimes you are hard during sex doesn't mean anything. It's not just that you can never get it up to anything but porn.

Your symptoms actually sounds similar to mine. Sometimes I would not be able to get an erection at all, sometimes I would have one that would not last, and sometimes I could stay rock hard for 45 minutes or longer and come nowhere close to ejaculation. I could almost never get hard shortly after an ejaculation. However, with porn I was always rock hard and could ejaculate multiple times in minutes if I was so inclined.
 
C

Confuzzled

Guest
Right, but I have no cravings. I mean, I'm going about my day not getting erections (although, very rarely, I'll think about something erotic such as what I could do with a girl I know or something like that, and I'll get an erection or at least a twitch). I've stopped PMO and the like because after reading all of this, my first response is, "HOLY SHIT! I don't want that!" I don't know if my ED is porn-induced, or at this point, it just gives me more of a dopamine rush, but I'm sure as hell not taking any chances.

Does that make sense? Thoughts?

Note: I finally remember when I started to masturbate; I was around 16, and it was mostly not to porn, but to erotic literature. I guess I did start later than most.
 

dc6

Member
I envy you because the cravings were very annoying for me. I haven't had them in a bit, which is nice. But the fact that you have more consistent, harder erections to porn raises red flags for me. That is indicative of a problem.
 
C

Confuzzled

Guest
Well, I'm stopping the porn, just in case. I've stopped masturbating for a while, too. Now, I'm just all pent-up, and my mind keeps wandering to naughty thoughts. Not porn, but just things I can do with people, or have done. I redirect myself almost immediately, but ADHD + horny = a lot of redirections.

It also might be my medication. I dunno. Still waiting for the Buproprion to kick in.

Any other suggestions, thoughts, or other input?
 

dc6

Member
It always could be something else, but you haven't provided anything that truly suggests that is a reasonable possibility. It could be your medication, but then I would imagine your doctor would be able to give you the answer to that. I have no medical training whatsoever so I am certainly not qualified to speak on whether or not your medication is causing you any erectile problems. For your sake, I hope it is your medication. That should be comparatively easier to get past.

I would also be careful of simply writing off fantasies because they involve people you know. Sometimes fantasies involving people we know can be, or can turn into porn fantasies. I experienced one of those myself where I began thinking about a girl I was interested in, and then my mind started to wander into a sexual situation and I realized I wasn't sure I was still thinking about the girl. You see, whenever I thought about going out with her, or spending time with her, or things like that the fantasies always involved the looks on her face and her laugh and such. When the fantasy turned sexual, it was a faceless, dark-haired person and sometimes it was from a perspective where I would be watching another guy have sex with her. That's when I figured I was venturing into porn fantasy.

That is not to say that your experiences will be the same. The one thing I think everybody has said from the beginning is that nobody's experience will be the same on this journey. I do hope that your fantasies don't turn into, or are not porn related fantasies. My only concern is with the possibility that you are engaging in those types of fantasies and do not realize it because to you you are just thinking about a girl you know in real life
 
C

Confuzzled

Guest
Well, like I said, I redirect myself almost immediately. But my fantasies don't turn into porn fantasies. I've always been comfortable with porn, and for better or worse, I can look at a naked girl on the internet without getting aroused. Though, maybe that's related to PIED, or at least that's what my anxiety's telling me. But it's not even a desire to get aroused. It's more, "That's not what I'm looking for. That's not why I'm here. I have something else I need to be doing. I'm busy right now." Does that make sense?

I do hope it's my medication, and the coming weeks will tell. I'm only worried about it being porn because I've been surrounded by it my entire young adult to adult life and I've looked at more than my share of it. Like I said, that's stopped now, though in my day-to-day life, I do end up seeing a fair amount of nudity on the internet. Again, my response tends to be, "That's nice, but I'm not here for that. Moving on."

Either way, your input's very valued, and I'd love to hear more of it. I'm also interested in hearing from any of the others who've been no doubt reading this thread.
 
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