Thanks Bilbo' for an interesting perspective. I'm pretty sure the root cause of my situation is, I took it at face value when I read "women like a man who can go for a long time" in the 1970s when I became a teenager. That was my goal, I accomplished it in 1975, and I have not looked back until now.
My wife says it is simply not true, "everyone I've ever talked to says sex for a long time is vastly overrated." Sort of like when women read "all guys like women with large breasts."
I do wonder about the elephant in the room - stating the obvious which nobody seems to want to incorporate into the discussion, that stimulation can be more stimulating or it can be less stimulating. Or to be blunt, not all blowjobs are created equal, so basing "I have a problem" on "I can't orgasm from oral sex" can be a slippery slope. It could just be oral sex that is not very good, for instance. It is not my goal to talk about the relative tightness of certain tight places, but they are not all created equal either, so the basic degree of stimulation in all these examples is most likely different. That doesn't lend itself to particularly good data beyond individual anecdotes. It is easy to maintain that we have not ruled out I may be an edge case (no pun intended).
I recognize, it is a rife opportunity for denial (on my part), as well. This is my struggle, trying to get a handle on it with so many unwieldy variables.