Lemthewiser
Member
Hi Reboot Nation. I'm here to share my story so I can simply just share it with someone instead of holding it in. In advance I apologize for the long post but I also greatly appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and respond. Thank you.
I'm feeling pretty foolish and frustrated. I "successfully" rebooted during the first part of the pandemic. I used quarantine as a time to try rebooting again -- make it a full 3 months without PMO -- previously I had rebooted multiple times but never quite hit that full goal and or never really felt like I had reached a point where my penis felt fully normal without anxiety of performing or going multiple times. Amazingly I was able to do it! I came out of hibernation (March-June) as things began to slightly improve covid wise (atleast in the northeast), feeling great. Consistent morning wood, spontaneous erections, no second guessing how my penis would react in any sexual situations. I was feeling confident. The summer time came and I was riding a high (July-September). I could even go multiple rounds without any anxiety or nervousness at how my penis might react. IT WAS AMAZING. I think I was feeling like I was fully healed and wasn't really aware of the pit falls that might have been lurking around.
I then reconnected with an old fling. While messaging things picked up and I ended up receiving multiple nudes. Unaware it might be harmful I masturbated to these images. I also wasn't careful on INSTAGRAM, and was definitely exposing myself to temptation -- there are just so many girls on IG and they all post sexy photos even if they aren't pornographic. I never looked at porn in the "traditional sense" but I definitely enjoyed looking at those images. Then the next time I was with a real girl I couldn't go multiple times, then another time I noticed I wasn't feeling as turned on, and then another time I noticed I wasn't feeling very turned on at all, and my penis just didn't have the same life as it did just a few weeks before. By November that familiar performance anxiety had returned. I was back to avoiding sexual interactions all together because of the humiliation associated with PIED. Even worst because I had been feeling great before, I had created an expectation from my sexual partner that I was healthy to perform #STRESSFUL.
By December, I had reflected on what happened and realized it must have been the nudes that threw me off. I can't believe it had effected me like that. I decided I couldn't continue feeling like that and I started another reboot period. So as of today its been 34 days since any PMO and I avoid spending unnecessary time on IG. Some days I feel much better and I am encouraged. I have inconsistent morning wood. A few times I have woken up in the middle of the night with an erection. I actually had a wet dream two weeks ago. I was avoiding sexual interactions but luckily I actually told my partner I am rebooting and we are intimate but I make sure not to cum. I feel like if I cum without going a full 90 days I won't get back to where I was this summer. Is that crazy? I feel like I will be semi back but still have PE. ITs just so frustrating. I felt like I had reached the "promise land", feeling uninhibited. And now I'm here back to rebooting again for a few months and just overall not feeling as confident that I can fully overcome this. Hopefully I never have to write another post like this come March/April. I want to put this past me for good.
THanks for reading if you made it this far. Feel free to drop a comment.
I'm feeling pretty foolish and frustrated. I "successfully" rebooted during the first part of the pandemic. I used quarantine as a time to try rebooting again -- make it a full 3 months without PMO -- previously I had rebooted multiple times but never quite hit that full goal and or never really felt like I had reached a point where my penis felt fully normal without anxiety of performing or going multiple times. Amazingly I was able to do it! I came out of hibernation (March-June) as things began to slightly improve covid wise (atleast in the northeast), feeling great. Consistent morning wood, spontaneous erections, no second guessing how my penis would react in any sexual situations. I was feeling confident. The summer time came and I was riding a high (July-September). I could even go multiple rounds without any anxiety or nervousness at how my penis might react. IT WAS AMAZING. I think I was feeling like I was fully healed and wasn't really aware of the pit falls that might have been lurking around.
I then reconnected with an old fling. While messaging things picked up and I ended up receiving multiple nudes. Unaware it might be harmful I masturbated to these images. I also wasn't careful on INSTAGRAM, and was definitely exposing myself to temptation -- there are just so many girls on IG and they all post sexy photos even if they aren't pornographic. I never looked at porn in the "traditional sense" but I definitely enjoyed looking at those images. Then the next time I was with a real girl I couldn't go multiple times, then another time I noticed I wasn't feeling as turned on, and then another time I noticed I wasn't feeling very turned on at all, and my penis just didn't have the same life as it did just a few weeks before. By November that familiar performance anxiety had returned. I was back to avoiding sexual interactions all together because of the humiliation associated with PIED. Even worst because I had been feeling great before, I had created an expectation from my sexual partner that I was healthy to perform #STRESSFUL.
By December, I had reflected on what happened and realized it must have been the nudes that threw me off. I can't believe it had effected me like that. I decided I couldn't continue feeling like that and I started another reboot period. So as of today its been 34 days since any PMO and I avoid spending unnecessary time on IG. Some days I feel much better and I am encouraged. I have inconsistent morning wood. A few times I have woken up in the middle of the night with an erection. I actually had a wet dream two weeks ago. I was avoiding sexual interactions but luckily I actually told my partner I am rebooting and we are intimate but I make sure not to cum. I feel like if I cum without going a full 90 days I won't get back to where I was this summer. Is that crazy? I feel like I will be semi back but still have PE. ITs just so frustrating. I felt like I had reached the "promise land", feeling uninhibited. And now I'm here back to rebooting again for a few months and just overall not feeling as confident that I can fully overcome this. Hopefully I never have to write another post like this come March/April. I want to put this past me for good.
THanks for reading if you made it this far. Feel free to drop a comment.
