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Messages - Yuri

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Thank you for your great post. 6-9 months seems like a reasonable time to me, you read so much on this forum about people who went to 90 days and then fell back into old patterns of behaviour.

 It might be very hard if you don't have a girlfriend and you have to stay safe all the time. Once i relapsed after two months. Later I understood that I have relapsed only partially. You loose just about half of the progress.

 Dear All,

 I will share you my story. I will try to keep it short but I will try to recall everything that was essential for my recovery as this knowledge may be beneficial to you. It is crazy now to recall what I have been going through. I will soon be 31 year old and by the age of 30 my life turned around for almost 180 degrees to the brighter side. So much has changed. From being a "freak" who is in love with artificial pleasure I have managed to regain my life and to unite with the nature. I have a girlfriend that I am sure will be my wife and someone that is destined to be in my life and has helped me to become a better person. I spend most of my time now doing something worthy. I get up early and I don't enjoy anything sexually artificial any more.

 I was stuck with porn and sex chats for many years. I got aroused from my habits up to the level when I needed something extreme to get aroused a lot. I had all the classic porn addict symptoms. Worst were falling into pessimism, restless legs syndrome (and stress) and of course not being able to make real love with a real woman and that was terrible! That was like living in a matrix and giving your precious sexual energy away to something very negative and unnatural. Now I recall it like a very strong addiction that I didn't notice or did not want to notice. It was like a delusional relationship you fall in love to and it eats your life energy. You get your dose to feel better whenever you want but after another moment you feel empty. I got my "wake up call" when I met my girl. I fell in love and we got together after some time and then I understood how bad is it really!! ...

  My journey to recovery started somewhere in October 2014 and I finally enjoyed making love in June 2015 . Imagine?? Well ... I was able to have sex somewhere in April already but it was such a hard times when my girl was wondering if she want's to be with a man like me. So imagine how it felt!? It was fighting for my life and for my love at the same time. For me it took about 6-9 months to finally get my sexuality and life back. There was about 5 relapses. Some were smaller and some were bigger.

 I had a very strong addiction and it took so much to fight it. These were the worst parts (BESIDES FINDING THE SOURCE OF WHY YOU GOT ADDICTED):
1. Having a girlfriend made it sometimes easier but sometimes extra hard. I am talking about that it is very hard to fight addiction while you are feeling bad and having a thought that she gives up on you. Just listen to this. There were two times when we did split up and I fell into depression and relapsed. But about two days after she says that she can't get rid of me (love) while she did not even suspect how much I suffered from this and that it made me relapse. She want's to spend a night with me again but I cant do it again. What a nightmare!! On the other side while I felt her support I could be super strong. She always made me go forward and thought me to think about myself.
2. I had strong porn withdrawal symptoms. I even got ill and relapsed then because I had to spend all my time in the bed. Urges were so strong I was not able to withstand. There were also terrible swings in the mood.
3. Understanding that porn is not an option!!!

AND NOW THE MAIN PART OF ADDICTION. I was so desperate I did read a lot of information about addiction. I found a book that helped me enormously and connected myself back to the nature. Eckhart Tolles "The Power Of Now". It appeared that I had a very strong "Pain body". In a few word I always thought that I do right that I fight all the pain in my live but I had to surrender to it rather than fighting it. I did fight my pain and searched for a relief in orgasms from artificial sexual stimulation and by time it took over me.

 I don't want anything extreme any more and nasty fetishes are fading away. I get hard with my girlfriend much easier now after we had our first sex. Orgasms feels so natural and the feeling after is super fine. You feel really great after you cum while after porn You had that feeling of emptiness. I had some chaser for another orgasm later but at least there were no urges any more for something artificial. Everything is not great yet. I will take much more time to get things real good but i already enjoy it.

 Please ask if You want to hear anything specific that could help You.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Once more unto the breach, dear friends.
« on: June 16, 2015, 12:51:46 PM »
Hi Bryan! He he ... this looks to easy. My head blew up after 2 weeks. You are doing great!





Porn Addiction / Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« on: February 05, 2015, 01:26:54 AM »
Get a cold shower!


 Hi guys!

 What's up!? I have stopped having various fantasies in my mind for a while now. Love it. Sometimes i get hard just from thoughts and memories about my woman. These are like waves - i want to belive thats a libido because i also get aroused when seeing a nice woman somewhere in a public transport for example but also it's like vawes.
 What worries me a bit is a few drops of semen time to time right after urinating. For example every third day or more often. Anyone had such experience? I feel like im real full down there :) .

Porn Addiction / Re: New to Reboot nation
« on: February 04, 2015, 02:06:36 PM »
Guys, I am 20 years old discovered that I have PIED last month. I started watching porn and masturbating when I was 15, the initial 3 years were less porn and more imagination. But since i entered college, its been more porn, almost everyday. I stopped watching porn last week (relapsed once)

Last September I met this amazing girl and have been dating her since, I never have problems getting an erection with her. Last weekend we spent together I got frequent erections by just kissing her and touching her. I think a lost a little erection when she was giving me a BJ though,but I was able to reach O. It remains fully erect while shes giving me a H. My problem is that whenever i put on a condom, I lose my erections (since the past 3 days the erections have been very less, I think i might be flatlining). So I decided to do the 90 days challenge to reboot myself, my question is that is it okay to have sex with my partner after say a month?
(Also I usually watched very soft porn, the kissing and BJs used to give me an O)

You are so lucky to be there at the of just 20 :) . Give yourself a few weeks and you will feel the difference. At least in your head. You will feel free from rubbish.

Porn Addiction / Re: Porn Addiction and Videogame Addiction
« on: February 04, 2015, 02:03:51 PM »

 I left video games year ago. I was bored. Real life felt a lot more exciting and games didn't bring anything new. I remember being addicted when i was teen and even after 20ties.
 But not so easy with porn and sexual fantasies. Had to struggle a lot for two-three months. And still i havent regained normal libido yet  :-\ .

Congratulations man!  Good job, keep going.  Focus on your goals, not how long it's been.  Try to replace the focus of porn (how long it's been since you watched it) with the focus on life in general (goals, self improvement, etc.)  Doing great bro.

 Thanks a lot!

Porn Addiction / Re: **PORNFREE 2015** (Sign Up NOW!)
« on: January 31, 2015, 02:43:38 PM »
I'm celebrating one clean month of no porn in 2015!
Periodicaly feeling better and better. I'm really happy about this. Started this thing at the end of October.? Relapsed 4 times before but will no more :) .  I really dont need porn anymore.

Please join me :)

I'm celebrating one clean month of no porn in 2015!
Periodicaly feeling better and better. I'm really happy about this. And i really dont need porn anymore.

Porn Addiction / Re: Help me, I am 50% Success.
« on: January 30, 2015, 04:07:54 PM »
Well if u see my counter below, 47 days and one "break" and then 19 days P free. I feel much more better than before.
My Brain Fog is almost gone and I am more energetic now.
But I still recover in a slow way because if u see my counter below I still can not control myself from Masturbate.
I calculated that I M almost 5 days a time. I think it affect the speed that I am recovering.

So what is your idea, how to stop M and what to do as a high libido person like me?? Libido defeat me everytime...

 That is not a libido - thats an addiction  :D


 Amazing that you did not get addicted. But perhaps you are close to crossing a line. Don't get into that sh*t! Do what is right. Save yourself while it is not to late! 


 No morning wood and worse erection. I will stop doing these kegels! Will do reversed, will have a massage and do squats instead. I hope it helps. Im reading a lot about pelvic floor now.

 Otherwise im doing fine.

I find that the kegels have helped but its easy to overdo them which should be avoided. I also find the reverse kegels quite difficult to do, especially if we are not supposed to tighten our abs at the same time as that is basically how I activate those muscles.

 Oh man... i cant do it by not tightening my abs.

Overtension of pelvic floor fading away. Not doing kegels any more. Doing some reverse kegels instead and pelvic floor stretches from different yoga poses.

I get stronger erection when just thinkig about my woman. It really turned me on today remembering her in lingerie and thinking about how i want her. Almost no more unrealistic fantasies any more.

Yesterday was an interesting one. Got a slight depression. I was dissatisfied and tired. As always i got some urges because of that as i was weak at the moment. BUT it was the second already that i said myself "F*ck you depression- everything is alright. There is no need for me to feel bad". I felt a lot better as i got home. Later i talked to my girl and felt even better. And then i took a cold shower and felt even MORE better. No sign of depression anymore. I went to sleep happy. And do You know what happened? I had bright dreams and even erotical... no! sexual dream by the morning!! First time since i was a child?? WOW. And today i felt like i am more into real women. Not as strong as i would like to but still. I feel that something changes in my head but i have to let it grow!!!


 I will stop doing kegels (i have done them for only about 4-5 days anyway). Will do some reversal kegels.
 BUT i feel like i dont want anything sexual at all now. Is it the legendary flatline?  :o  :D


 No morning wood and worse erection. I will stop doing these kegels! Will do reversed, will have a massage and do squats instead. I hope it helps. Im reading a lot about pelvic floor now.

 Otherwise im doing fine.


 Have kegels helped? I lost my morning wood. Will do reverse kegels, massaging and squats instead.

Porn Addiction / Re: Crazy articles from 1957.
« on: January 24, 2015, 02:51:15 PM »
Very interesting!

For example this:

"For these reasons civilized man has departed from the natural law, obeyed by animal and primitive races, which requires the separation of the sexes during pregnancy and lactation, for the benefit of both mother and child. Violation of this law may account for the large number of physically and mentally defective offspring produced by civilized races as compared with animals and primitive peoples".

Porn Addiction / Re: 21 days No Ejaculation and I am panicking....
« on: January 24, 2015, 12:08:11 PM »
24 days now. I have had more. That is no problem mate. You have a lot of energy in your genitals and you have to release it in your body. This energy can be pulled up to your head and then led to your stomach. Probably you can start here but i did read "Multi orgasmic man" . Another rebooter gave me that advise (probably it was "NTG").

Hey! Ha ha ... I remember i had it once also when i turned sideway in the moorning :D . Probably it increased blood flow. Does it happen often? Probably.

I had my cold shower yesterday and today too. Made me feel a lot better as i was frustrated yesterday. I did also have a winter run in the woods recently today.

This moorning i had strong wood and i was thinking about real woman. I feel like i have disconnected myself from that sexual matrix. I dont want it any more. Porn is worse than cheap prostitute and i dont want to return to it. Something still appears if i feel depressed or when i get very horny but i feel it weakens too. Cold shower took away any depression :) . And i dont allow much bad thoughts. I think positive.

I started doing kegel excersizes recently. I hope it helps. I got some semen leakage after urinating. I hope it is normal. Will read about it.

I remember reading something where Gabe put on here that he thought just spending time with his girl (cuddling, hugging, kissing, making out) really helped to speed up his recovery, because it fired off new connections in his brain for pleasure.  I think you should take a different approach here...instead of focusing on getting hard to be able to have sex with your girl, focus on becoming more intimate with her.  See this as your time to learn how to make her feel loved and wanted, just by the way you hold her.  I don't think she's going to mind this a bit :)  stay strong bro.  Keep at it, you're doing great!

 Ha ha . Thanks friend. It is not like im just thinking about sex with her  :D . I really love her and i enjoy all the time that i spend with her :) . We have a lot of hugs and cuddling and kissing and it feels wonderfull. It takes all the negative feelings away from me.

 Hi friends. I want to share what's new. Would be glad to hear some comments and/or advice.

 So i felt great. No remarkable cravings. I spent another night with my woman. What i didntt write earlier - it is very hard for me to sleep with her as deep inside i really want her and i get sexually aroused but still im not hard enough to please us both. It feels like having a flame inside but not beeing able to let it out. Yet another night she goes to sleep but i can't. My body temperature rises, its uncomfortably hot,I feel aroused and uncomfortable. Later as i try to sleep my mind starts wondering and cravings appear. Appear out from some deep places of my mind. Nothing to strong or something i cant whitstand but still. Damn... i feel bad about it because my woman gets uncomfortable too. She didnt sleep also as i did shuffle in bed all night.
 My mind tells me and i am sure that i just need more time. It is just three weeks this month and still i feel a lot of progress and i am very happy about it.
 What i bother about is nights spent with her. I hope a lot that it benefits me as i get REAL feelings from hugs and kisses. And i hope that it makes my flame to find the correct way out.

 It is evening now. Day after. Im sleepy. No cravings. I feel tired and will go to sleep very soon.   

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