aquarius25
Respected Member
So this might be kinda long and I am sorry for that, lol.
Most people on here know me and know that my husband and I recently moved across the country at part of our recovery. Part of my husbands "Porn" was FB and masturbating to my friends, like my real life everyday friends. This brought up so much insecurity and real difficulties in healing because we were living in a town of just under 10,000 people and every time I left the house I would end up bumping into at least one person my husband preferred to stick his dick too instead of having sex with me. It made the entire thing so much more personal. Plus, it made it tricky because the people I would normally go to for support I felt I couldn't. I didn't want to have to tell them he was masturbating to them, that would greatly impact friendships. The entire thing is just a mess!
Anyway, we moved, it has been really great. I know I can't run away forever but it is nice to not have it in my face every day. It has really helped me process and get a hold on my emotions. So a few weeks back when one of our friends from back home said she was flying out and considering moving, I kinda freaked! IT was really hard and my husband was less than supportive. He said she was never part of his spank bank history but I have a hard time believing it because she is just his type. He just didn't really check in or anything. It was hard but we worked it out, she left and I let it go.
Well, she is back again and really serious about this move. It looks like it is happening. We have never been super close friends and I have never told her about anything. It really isn't our dynamic. I feel like I can't run forever and maybe this is the time I need to work this out. I am struggling but trying. I have a hard time realizing that this is part of my husband history and that he would do something like this. Either way, it happened, I need to accepts it. Just as it is part of his history by me stay with him it becomes part of mine too. I am just struggling with how to process this. I have been doing breathing and other things to try and move out of my emotions, I am learning to sit with them and just feel them when I am in a safe place where I can just let go. I just thought maybe some of you might have a recommendation? Once again, my husband still hasn't even asked me if I am doing ok with everything. Instead, he has just been working like crazy and has been helping her set up apts to see houses. I feel like I just need to deal with this and just not sure how to. So I am reaching out and seeking support from you ladies. Thoughts?
Most people on here know me and know that my husband and I recently moved across the country at part of our recovery. Part of my husbands "Porn" was FB and masturbating to my friends, like my real life everyday friends. This brought up so much insecurity and real difficulties in healing because we were living in a town of just under 10,000 people and every time I left the house I would end up bumping into at least one person my husband preferred to stick his dick too instead of having sex with me. It made the entire thing so much more personal. Plus, it made it tricky because the people I would normally go to for support I felt I couldn't. I didn't want to have to tell them he was masturbating to them, that would greatly impact friendships. The entire thing is just a mess!
Anyway, we moved, it has been really great. I know I can't run away forever but it is nice to not have it in my face every day. It has really helped me process and get a hold on my emotions. So a few weeks back when one of our friends from back home said she was flying out and considering moving, I kinda freaked! IT was really hard and my husband was less than supportive. He said she was never part of his spank bank history but I have a hard time believing it because she is just his type. He just didn't really check in or anything. It was hard but we worked it out, she left and I let it go.
Well, she is back again and really serious about this move. It looks like it is happening. We have never been super close friends and I have never told her about anything. It really isn't our dynamic. I feel like I can't run forever and maybe this is the time I need to work this out. I am struggling but trying. I have a hard time realizing that this is part of my husband history and that he would do something like this. Either way, it happened, I need to accepts it. Just as it is part of his history by me stay with him it becomes part of mine too. I am just struggling with how to process this. I have been doing breathing and other things to try and move out of my emotions, I am learning to sit with them and just feel them when I am in a safe place where I can just let go. I just thought maybe some of you might have a recommendation? Once again, my husband still hasn't even asked me if I am doing ok with everything. Instead, he has just been working like crazy and has been helping her set up apts to see houses. I feel like I just need to deal with this and just not sure how to. So I am reaching out and seeking support from you ladies. Thoughts?