Journals > Ages 30-39

The Final Cut

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Murgatroyd:
Hey Conan, I've been mindful of you since you commented on my post last week.  I'm new here.  Also had a helpful post from Bilbo, so I can see how the forum is working its magic.  This is cool.  Greetings also to EarthWalker.

Today I read your Journal from top to bottom, every word.  It was enlightening.  After reading it all, I want to say:

1.  You're pretty hard on yourself.  I think your progress is exemplary!  Give yourself some credit for some great strides.

2.  I'm 62 and have been having orgasms with women for 47 years.  I'm pretty sure I never had 3 orgasms in 15 hours with a woman, even in the 80s before the internet.   <--- that is just to say it is all relative!

3.  If you're curious, read up on "sleep cycles." They vary in length a little, but generally tend to run 90 minutes, more or less.  It might go plus/minus 5 minutes depending on individuals and variables.  The point is, I am pretty sure that erections during the night follow the same pattern, so if you use an alarm clock the chances are great that you're interrupting sleep cycles when you have to get up and go to work at a certain time.  So if you use an alarm clock, don't beat yourself up if you don't wake up with a hard-on - you probably just woke up in the middle of a cycle instead of waking up at the end of one before another starts.  I threw my alarm clock out in 1983.  I sleep for 5 cycles = 7 hours 40 minutes.  It's just how it works.  Alarm clocks suck, but I get that some people have to use them.  I have steered my own ship in terms of starting work in the morning since I threw out the alarm clock.  Problem solved, but I am unusual, I realize that.

4.  Given your comment about being depressed because of the weather, you might also poke around on the topic "Seasonal Affective Disorder" which is a real thing that people get. Seasonal Affective Disorder is not related to porn addiction. 

5. Take solace when the lion does overcome the enemy.  The self is ongoing; progress is the metric.  You are making incredible progress.  If you peak early, you really have no place to go but down.  That should not be the goal.  Enjoy the little victories, and strive to improve.

Keep up the good work, bud.

Conan:
Thanks for dropping by man and I appreciate an input from someone who is a little older and more experienced. Like you said I do tend to be hard on myself a lot because I often overthink everything, it's just who I always was, and that often pervents me from enjoy ing things, but a success is a success and this story of mine is one, even though I may not see it as that sometimes. Also, about the sleep cycles, I'm well aware of them and during night I wake up for a brief moment after every 90 minutes or so, and almost all the time I have an erection these days. On rare occasions I sleep trough the night without waking up after every cycle, I'm sure I have erections even then it's just that I'm not aware of them.

Hopefully I'll have more good news to report in the future with even more progress. So far things are stable, and as long as I keep this up they can't go worse, and what I have now is pretty good so I'm not complaining.

Conan:
Last night I had 3 orgasms in under 8 hours, 1st and 3rd from sex and second one from a wet dream of all things.

My gf came over, and when she took her clothes off to take a shower I was instantly hard, so hard in fact that I think it was 100%, it's been a really long time since I had a 100% erection so I forgot honestly how that feels, but if what I had last night isn't that then I don't know how much harder it can get. Also it happened while I was standing and I always had more problems with erections when standing, just like most PIED people. I had sex with that erection last night and in the morning and it was great like always. My erections during sleep are now also around the same quality, 90% strong and better on most nights. This is a great releaver as now I know without a doubt  there is nothing physically wrong with me. Also, my PIED symptoms are now mostly minor, but I still suffer from a lot of anxiety and stress thought I will have to deal with that in other ways. As for the wet dream, I have no idea why it happened, as I stopped having them once I started having sex regularly about 3 months ago, but I somehow managed to have one between round 1 and 2 last night and when I woke up from it I was hard as well, as before I would usually not be hard when it happened so even that is an improvement.

I still don't consider myself fully cored from PIED but I sure as hell em cured enough to function normally, have a normal relationship, normal sex life and not experience any major problems. I will write a success story once I consider myself cured but untill then this progress that I made so far is a success on its own.

Fuck porn.

Bilbo Baggins:
Awesome, man. A thousand congratulations to you. It was great to follow your progress in the last months, it’s really encouraging. We’ll never meet in real life, but know that even if you’re just a guy I talk to on a forum, I’m really happy for you. ED is a very, very sad thing for a man, and I’m glad it’s a thing of the past for you. Keep it up.

Murgatroyd:
What Bilbo said, for sure.

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