Journals > Ages 30-39

The Final Cut

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DAY 67

Had sex last night. And... it was pretty good. Best part is that I was in a flatline for a while and I thought that there's no way I'll be up to it but the moment we started touching one another BAM I was hard and ready for action. It was great for both of us, maaaaybe I could have lasted a little bit longer but that's to be expected after 50 days since last sex, definitely no PE just some of my personal preferences. After that I went to sleep wondering the entire time will I hit the flatline now that I had orgasm form sex, but when I woke next to her this morning.... BAM another erection. And the urge was so strong that I woke her up for round 2 and it was just as good as round one. I didn't go more than that out of fear from flatlining from too many orgasms in a short time period all of a sudden but I must say, now that I'm writing this it doesn't feel like a standard flatline. Sure I'm not constantly horny, far from it, but I also don't feel asexual like in the previous 2 months. This is amazing progress especially for such an early time frame, hopefully I'll see more progress in the following days. All in all, I'm extremely happy about recent developments.

This just goes to show the importance of rewiring. Sure, going HARD MODE is also extremely important, I went HARD from day 15 up until last night, which is 50 days. And the only orgasms I had in these 67 days were from sex, no masturbation and obviously no porn. However, as important as hard mode is, reviewing is absolutely crucial unless you want to spend years fighting this shit. I know that not everyone has the luxury of an understanding partner but sooner or later you will have to try with a real person to know if things really have improved or not. And that is the ONLY way to know, nothing else. Sure, morning/night wood, random erections, wet dreams etc. are all signs that there is nothing physically wrong with you, but just because you have them doesn't mean you'll get it up for the real deal. So I implore you, rewire as much as you can, if you have a partner you are blessed and you will recover faster (of course if you don't keep relapsing to porn). If you don't have a partner, try to find one. I know that it's scary but like I said you will have to do it sooner or later and it is the only way to know if you are cured or not.

DAY 69(nice)

Another successful sex today, and after a wet dream no less. Was hard the entire time, even before we started touching and kissing, and was hard for the whole duration of it. The only bad thing is, just like before, I lasted about 10 minutes, but again, that is to be expected considering that I'm super sensitive now due to not PMOing for so long. Yesterday I was super horny for the entire day, but not once did I have the urge to watch porn, just to have sex, and today I did, so the reviewing is definettly speeding things up tremendously. I feel my libido coming back to how it was and couldn't be more happy about it. Again, the only negative is that it seems I picked up some mild PE along the way, but that is something that should improve with the consistency of sex. And still, if I had to choose, I would much rather have Pe than ED any day. 

On another note my morning wood is starting to be a regular occurrence, woke up with one yesterday and one today. All in all, I'm amazed how fast things are improving, hopefully it will continue at this pace.

Great news about the successful innercourse! I bet your partner loved it too! I think youre definately seeing signs of recovery and its a great motivator for others.

Thanks. I'm still far away from being 'cured' but the benefits are now clearly visible and not subtle or small like before. The one thing that I can say definitely improved is the desire for sex over porn. When i get the urge it's not the porn urge like it was back in the day, that uncontrollable rush of dopamine you are all wery familiar with, but instead a healthy, more controllable urge for actual sex. It's completely different feeling and it feels great.

Bilbo Baggins:
Good news, man. Congratulations. That sounds like an amazing achievement to me. Keep it up.


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