My story is a bit different. At least i think so.
Started watching porn since i was 9, because my twin brother exposed that to me. Used to watch it like a maniac since.
At that time we watched porn together and some time played what we saw. Those playings really hurted me emotionally and mentally and i struggled HOCD ( which i only found out recently).
Im 23 years old now , after 8 months of therapy during 2018, recently came back from a big trip in New Zealand and Australia.
In October 2018 i decided to reboot, going hard mode. I didnt rrally watched porn since the end of 2016, but i did relapsed adter, but i was okay with not watching completely since ive done that. I havent fapped for around 11 months ( since October 2018),
I did have sex with a girl once during my trip, which was after i went NoFap and reboot for like 6-7 months. I was really noticing a different because my Penis was dead meat after the first time we did it , took long to get it back for the second time ( i have premature ejaculations problem..)
The thing now is i got back home and i got back to fap a bit.
Ive been stopping for a few days, and i had a wet dream last night , which also happend the first time i stopped in October. Its weird , it happend at least 4 more times. Its like my mind is craving it and its looking for a way to get that feeling.
Im a bit lost. Im not watching porn , and i will never watch it again , im a 100 precent sure about that , its completey out of my system craving wise ( my thought's are still some time porn related, but if you read the beginning, i started watching at age 9, unfortunately).
I dont know if to keep going with NoFap or the do it once in a time. I can definitely say that i used to Fap in really weird conditions, going to the toilet during work, out of bordem , trying to sleep. It really felt like its part of the addiction and felt really connected to porn , so i stopped. But now im not sure if to continue that path. The reason i broke the NoFap was because i was horny and i couldnt resist my emotions, so i fapped and thought about sexual experiences i had with a girl i dated , tried to not connect it to the porn induced thoughts i used to masturbate to. I have anexity , that is. I guess has something to do with porn , but im really stressed now that im home. I feel like i want a serious relationship, but sometime i think its only sex cravings with no emotion. Im just sharing my thoughts here, ill keep posting in the next few days. Feel free to help and comment, and god bless if my writing helps someone..
Started watching porn since i was 9, because my twin brother exposed that to me. Used to watch it like a maniac since.
At that time we watched porn together and some time played what we saw. Those playings really hurted me emotionally and mentally and i struggled HOCD ( which i only found out recently).
Im 23 years old now , after 8 months of therapy during 2018, recently came back from a big trip in New Zealand and Australia.
In October 2018 i decided to reboot, going hard mode. I didnt rrally watched porn since the end of 2016, but i did relapsed adter, but i was okay with not watching completely since ive done that. I havent fapped for around 11 months ( since October 2018),
I did have sex with a girl once during my trip, which was after i went NoFap and reboot for like 6-7 months. I was really noticing a different because my Penis was dead meat after the first time we did it , took long to get it back for the second time ( i have premature ejaculations problem..)
The thing now is i got back home and i got back to fap a bit.
Ive been stopping for a few days, and i had a wet dream last night , which also happend the first time i stopped in October. Its weird , it happend at least 4 more times. Its like my mind is craving it and its looking for a way to get that feeling.
Im a bit lost. Im not watching porn , and i will never watch it again , im a 100 precent sure about that , its completey out of my system craving wise ( my thought's are still some time porn related, but if you read the beginning, i started watching at age 9, unfortunately).
I dont know if to keep going with NoFap or the do it once in a time. I can definitely say that i used to Fap in really weird conditions, going to the toilet during work, out of bordem , trying to sleep. It really felt like its part of the addiction and felt really connected to porn , so i stopped. But now im not sure if to continue that path. The reason i broke the NoFap was because i was horny and i couldnt resist my emotions, so i fapped and thought about sexual experiences i had with a girl i dated , tried to not connect it to the porn induced thoughts i used to masturbate to. I have anexity , that is. I guess has something to do with porn , but im really stressed now that im home. I feel like i want a serious relationship, but sometime i think its only sex cravings with no emotion. Im just sharing my thoughts here, ill keep posting in the next few days. Feel free to help and comment, and god bless if my writing helps someone..