Sorry, I don't agree. Trauma is - traumatic. No one, absolutely no one, gets to dictate how a victim of trauma deals with that trauma. Just because one person was able to 'move on' from their traumatic event relatively quickly (or not) does not mean that a different person is someone moving too slow, dwelling too long, or healing the 'wrong way'. Every person is unique, every experience is unique.
The other issue is that, we are dealing with porn addicts here, the key word being 'addicts'. If you want to be able to use the word 'addict' when it comes to relapsing or the hardness of getting over porn, then you have to be willing to accept the other aspects the come with addiction. Addiction behavior almost always comes with gas lighting, projecting, and blame shifting. A recovering addict that accepted the trauma he or she caused their partner would never, ever insinuate that issue is being talked about too much. The partner might have legitimate questions. Guess what - if the questions keep coming up that is because the issue is not resolved in the mind of the partner. Sometimes a recovering addict might have to answer the same question 100 different times, so what - deal with it. That is a direct result of the lying and deception that comes right along with the addiction. If you have lied to someone once, twice, and more likely a hundred different times, how arrogant to believe that you word alone is enough.
If the partner is still wanting to talk about it, they are still processing aspects of it and that is their right. A recovering addict cannot say they care about the relationship or the partner, then try to rush the partner along in their healing.
As for other partners, we don't know someone else's situation. I am NEVER going to tell a partner to 'move on' or they are dwelling too much or they need to just focus on themselves. Guess why? Because I got burned BIG TIME from that. My gut was saying there is more, there is more, there is more. It was five months after d-day that I found out my husband had gone to a massage parlor and had a hand and blow job from a prostitute. Guess what? That means that he and I both had to be tested for STDs/STIs. Thankfully the tests came back negative for both, but my gut was telling me there was more. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't like having my health and safety put in jeopardy and all those folks saying "move on" or "you are sulking too much" or "you need to focus on your own life" didn't have squat to say when I came back and said my husband admitting to physically acting out. Because yes, if your partner has had sex with another person (even with a condom) they have potentially put your own health and safety at risk. So, if the partner still has questions and they are still needing to dwell on the topic and they are still needing to talk to their porn addicted spouse - there is probably something to that gut feeling.
Hey, if your porn addicted spouse has had a full therapeutic disclosure with a polygraph AND has had a full medical workup and has turned over all devices and you know for a 100% guaranteed fact they you know everything - thing I would say - yeah, you can move on. How many folks here have had all of those things?
We, as partners, are being asked to trust people that died, deceived, betrayed for significant amounts of time - sometimes years or decades. That is not something to be taken lightly. If part of one person's healing is that they need to talk about things often - their partner should be willing to let that happen.
It is an absolute red flag for me if a porn addict in recovery is trying to shut down conversation.
If someone 'got over' their trauma within a few months or a year - congratulations. But, it is never okay to try to dictate someone else's recovery.