Help required

This is crazy. I just cant stop relapsing. I go a week, sometimes two, and fail. I get so high and happy when not PMO ing, but still somehow just throw it all away .Im really getting a bit scared now. How difficult actully is this?
Feeling lost on it now..... pretty bad times...can anyone offer any guidance here? Im 47 by the way and have had numourous relationships but my lasy one fell apart - mostly due to covid and distance , but i know before she left, my addiction was getting out of hand, and i suspect she knew full well too......

Welcome, Asian Stone!

Would love to be of service! Begin to journal (as you are here), and keep a private journal at home. Write down what circumstances surround a lapse for you...

Write down the date that you are stopping PMO. Hold yourself to it, but then put the whole thing out of your mind, and let your brain heal naturally, as your habit changes.

You will encounter cues specific to you (what many call 'triggers'), and these will cause urges to arise. All this is natural, simply don't respond to the urges, and you're cured- if you do this often enough, consistently enough.

You are not diseased, you are not an addict (though you may have an addiction), you are simply a healthy male who developed maladaptive coping methods, a bad habit. And all you need do now is undo the bad habit, and replace it with healthier habits.

You got this! With you, also, if you need any help.