Wow. Hard to believe it has been since late December of 2019 that I last wrote a Journal post. I have made it successfully w/o porn for a good run and I am thankful for that. Over the past few weeks, whether due to stress from Covid or just slipping into hold habits, I have found myself slowly sliding back to images of women and breasts and subsequent masturbation. No porn per se, but getting pretty close. What I noticed is that just the act of looking at pictures of women's breasts and getting off started to feed my hunger for more and more, and the cycle escalated, as we have all experienced in this crappy phenomena called addiction.
What I learned is that letting yourself slip back into seemingly benign images (a women in a bikini) can erode your strength and let you slip further and further back to a bad place. I went from looking for images with clothes on to then getting into twitter feeds with women topless which is where I stopped. I am glad I stopped there as it would have been one more click away from hardcore porn and then a feeling of total shit.
However, knowing I had this site to come to and put my thoughts down feels great. Also to see me history of posts to know where I have been and the timeline.
I am grateful for this site and find the journaling effective.
Thanks for reading.
What I learned is that letting yourself slip back into seemingly benign images (a women in a bikini) can erode your strength and let you slip further and further back to a bad place. I went from looking for images with clothes on to then getting into twitter feeds with women topless which is where I stopped. I am glad I stopped there as it would have been one more click away from hardcore porn and then a feeling of total shit.
However, knowing I had this site to come to and put my thoughts down feels great. Also to see me history of posts to know where I have been and the timeline.
I am grateful for this site and find the journaling effective.
Thanks for reading.