So I have been on this journey for quite some time now and have even had a streak of no P for 1 & 3/4 years but I was never able to give up O so I would be on these incredibly long no P streaks but still continue to materbate and I felt like I was not getting the full effect. Then in October of 2019 I relapsed after 1 and 3/4 of no P. This was extremely disappointing and shameful for me so I decided I was going to take this further than I ever had. right then and there I decided I was going to go full hard mode and from there I was able to stick with my commitment. I made it 90 days on hard mode. That is the absolute longest I have made it with our master sing since I was about 12 and discovered what masterbating was, this was a huge milestone. So on day 90 I decided to reward my self with a release and from there I probably released 5-6 more times throughout the week. While I consider this going a little overboard I didn?t see it as a huge problem. But yesterday I really was not feeling myself I was feeling really down in the dumps and a moment of weakness led me to lead to me going on a giant P binge for close to 4 hours, one of the worst ones I?ve ever been on I?d say. Now the next morning I feel absolute disgusting and ashamed of myself that I could let 90 days of hard work and commitment be sabotaged by a moment of weakness. I hear by am pledging to myself to start an even longer and better hard mode streak and finally heal myself once and for all. Just want to remind my fellow rebooters out there to never yourself rationalize and give in to your temptations which is basically rebooting 101 but my dumbass began making excuses for myself around day 90 when I reworded myself with a release because of how far I made and though ?I deserve this? which then slowly led into me indulging in P again, leading me back to square 1.
90 steps forward, huge step back
- Thread starter 21zo
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