canttugwonttug
Active Member
My story began as a 15 year old kid who just got the internet at home. The first thing I did when we got a computer with the internet was go looking at porn. Within only a few months my tastes rapidly descended into very depraved stuff that I'm still ashamed about and even then I knew I shouldn't have been looking at. I always felt guilty about porn use and on some level I knew from the earliest time that it was unhealthy. My use of dial-up speed porn continued until I was about 20, when I first got broadband in my house in college. Around this time I also got a girlfriend for the first time in my life and began to have sex. Sometimes I could get an erection, sometimes it was sketch, it definitely took a few attempts before I managed to lose my virginity, but luckily she decided to stick around. My porn use continued and with fast internet I now started the standard policy of multiple tabs, multiple videos, watching until you find something good. This is when the erection problems got a lot worse and she left, although the relationship was toxic anyway.
For the next 6 years or so I had a ridiculous amount of one night stands, I guess enjoying the continual novelty my brain was used to. For whatever reason I never had erection problems in this situation, probably because of a combination of booze and novelty. Then I eventually met a phenomenal girl, who I lost because I basically completely lost interest in having sex with her, all the while having a secret sex-life jacking it to porn, watching cams, all sorts of fucked up porn that I don't even care to admit to here. I used to be able to maintain an erection for hours on end watching porn, but not be able to get it up at all for a real girl, and if I did, the sex seemed like a total chore, something that I felt I had to do rather than something that I did for any kind of enjoyment. I would have been delighted to just not bother with sex. And so the relationship ended. I think I may have enjoyed the first 2 times I had sex with her, then it just because a chore. Fucking shameful bullshit.
This luckily was also my wake up call with porn. About 6 months ago I cut out porn completely. I managed to make it almost the full 90 days without watching anything. I relapsed maybe 2 times in 3 months since then. Then I met a girl who I started having sex with. The first time it was a little awkward, I was drunk and tired but it was still decent. But in a few weeks since it has been absolutely amazing. I have never enjoyed sex like this. I can be completely sober and really enjoy what I am doing. In the past, when I had sex with a girl I would be bored of her after only one or two times, but now it just gets better and better every time as we get more comfortable with each other and figure out what we both like. My erections have been perfect and I've even had a situation where I blew my load, and my dick stayed hard and I could keep fucking. And it was fucking awesome. She turns me on so much its insane. I notice how she smells, how soft her skin feels, how delicate and feminine she is, the sounds she makes, the sensations, all of the shit that just wasn't there before.
In a way I feel like I was cheated out of years of great sex because of this porn bullshit. But then, its absolutely better late than never. I am still a young man and I have years of amazing sex ahead of me! Its almost like the lid has been lifted and things just make sense. When I see ads on TV for boner pills now I just laugh, its weird because those ads used to really embarrass me. Well now I know the truth.
The one big thing I did differently during reboot is that I didn't stop masturbating. I did cut it down a bit, maybe to once every three days or so on average, but it would have been nearly impossible to do it otherwise for me. Perhaps the reason I was okay is that I didn't start on today's high speed internet porn until I was 20, and perhaps I didn't fuck myself up as much as some of the unfortunate younger guys. Anyway, if people are skeptical as to whether a reboot can be done while still masturbating, I can confirm that in my case, it could be. But of course that may not apply to everyone.
I am the type of person who has also always felt a low level social anxiety, which I think was probably being exacerbated by porn. I used to deal with it by drinking truck loads of alcohol. In recent times I have been far better able to deal with social situations while sober. I sometimes feel minor pangs of social anxiety, but its nothing like it was before. I know they link this to dopamine levels in the brain and in my case I think this was definitely a problem too. I feel like a seek out social interaction now much more naturally than I used to, where it was previously always a chore and generally meant ploughing the unpleasant emotions under a haze of booze. I look forward to what my new found sociable streak brings me in the coming years, its definitely exciting to be able to deal with people so much more easily.
Some of the emotions I am dealing with now are also rather interesting. I feel massively drawn to the girl I am seeing, which is interesting because I have felt numb towards any woman I've been with ever since I discovered the high-speed stuff at 20 years old. The emotions are interesting, kind of hard to deal with some of the time, but they feel very real. The numbness and total lack of giving a shit is definitely gone. I feel like I could get my heart broken, but also feel like I may have discovered a capacity to feel love, which I have not in probably a decade.
Overall, rebooting has changed my fucking life. I never ever want to use porn again. The fact that I know how good it can be is also a huge motivating factor. I feel like I met this girl at the right time, as I had a couple of relapses in the preceding weeks, but meeting her and experiencing what sex-without-porn is like has been nothing short of mind blowing. It really is totally totally worth it.
The people who run this website, yourbrainonporn etc and are endeavouring to get this information to young men are heros. Please for the love of god, keep doing what you are doing.
For the next 6 years or so I had a ridiculous amount of one night stands, I guess enjoying the continual novelty my brain was used to. For whatever reason I never had erection problems in this situation, probably because of a combination of booze and novelty. Then I eventually met a phenomenal girl, who I lost because I basically completely lost interest in having sex with her, all the while having a secret sex-life jacking it to porn, watching cams, all sorts of fucked up porn that I don't even care to admit to here. I used to be able to maintain an erection for hours on end watching porn, but not be able to get it up at all for a real girl, and if I did, the sex seemed like a total chore, something that I felt I had to do rather than something that I did for any kind of enjoyment. I would have been delighted to just not bother with sex. And so the relationship ended. I think I may have enjoyed the first 2 times I had sex with her, then it just because a chore. Fucking shameful bullshit.
This luckily was also my wake up call with porn. About 6 months ago I cut out porn completely. I managed to make it almost the full 90 days without watching anything. I relapsed maybe 2 times in 3 months since then. Then I met a girl who I started having sex with. The first time it was a little awkward, I was drunk and tired but it was still decent. But in a few weeks since it has been absolutely amazing. I have never enjoyed sex like this. I can be completely sober and really enjoy what I am doing. In the past, when I had sex with a girl I would be bored of her after only one or two times, but now it just gets better and better every time as we get more comfortable with each other and figure out what we both like. My erections have been perfect and I've even had a situation where I blew my load, and my dick stayed hard and I could keep fucking. And it was fucking awesome. She turns me on so much its insane. I notice how she smells, how soft her skin feels, how delicate and feminine she is, the sounds she makes, the sensations, all of the shit that just wasn't there before.
In a way I feel like I was cheated out of years of great sex because of this porn bullshit. But then, its absolutely better late than never. I am still a young man and I have years of amazing sex ahead of me! Its almost like the lid has been lifted and things just make sense. When I see ads on TV for boner pills now I just laugh, its weird because those ads used to really embarrass me. Well now I know the truth.
The one big thing I did differently during reboot is that I didn't stop masturbating. I did cut it down a bit, maybe to once every three days or so on average, but it would have been nearly impossible to do it otherwise for me. Perhaps the reason I was okay is that I didn't start on today's high speed internet porn until I was 20, and perhaps I didn't fuck myself up as much as some of the unfortunate younger guys. Anyway, if people are skeptical as to whether a reboot can be done while still masturbating, I can confirm that in my case, it could be. But of course that may not apply to everyone.
I am the type of person who has also always felt a low level social anxiety, which I think was probably being exacerbated by porn. I used to deal with it by drinking truck loads of alcohol. In recent times I have been far better able to deal with social situations while sober. I sometimes feel minor pangs of social anxiety, but its nothing like it was before. I know they link this to dopamine levels in the brain and in my case I think this was definitely a problem too. I feel like a seek out social interaction now much more naturally than I used to, where it was previously always a chore and generally meant ploughing the unpleasant emotions under a haze of booze. I look forward to what my new found sociable streak brings me in the coming years, its definitely exciting to be able to deal with people so much more easily.
Some of the emotions I am dealing with now are also rather interesting. I feel massively drawn to the girl I am seeing, which is interesting because I have felt numb towards any woman I've been with ever since I discovered the high-speed stuff at 20 years old. The emotions are interesting, kind of hard to deal with some of the time, but they feel very real. The numbness and total lack of giving a shit is definitely gone. I feel like I could get my heart broken, but also feel like I may have discovered a capacity to feel love, which I have not in probably a decade.
Overall, rebooting has changed my fucking life. I never ever want to use porn again. The fact that I know how good it can be is also a huge motivating factor. I feel like I met this girl at the right time, as I had a couple of relapses in the preceding weeks, but meeting her and experiencing what sex-without-porn is like has been nothing short of mind blowing. It really is totally totally worth it.
The people who run this website, yourbrainonporn etc and are endeavouring to get this information to young men are heros. Please for the love of god, keep doing what you are doing.