No dopamine released by porn

  • Thread starter escapeandnevercomeback
  • Start date
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
Hello, everyone! Today I have 1 week without porn. I hope this time is the time. You see, we are addicted to the dopamine released by porn. Porn is just a button we push to get this dopamine. So the solution is clear: We must not push the button. Porn means hardcore, softcore, social media, Youtube, porn "stored" in our brain. Complete porn induced dopamine starvation is the safest, fastest way to do it but it's going to be brutal. After denying myself the pleasure of porn dopamine for a week, I am kind of irritated and depressed. But I'll do it.
 
you're right! I watched a video yesterday on Instagram and this girl was dancing and it aroused me smh! In my head I was thinking, well this isn't hardcore or softcore porn or even nudity so it's like I justified it. I SHOULDN'T JUSTIFY it though. It needs to be STARVED OUT as you said. I applaud you for calling it out! You might feel low now, but we all know it will pass! KNOW IT WILL PASS! Find joy in that truth. Let's keep going!
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
I relapsed today. I'm fucking depressed about this. Again, the same fucking thing got me. I have a very long history of edging while thinking about porn when I wake up. Yesterday I woke up and started edging just like that, on fucking autopilot but I stopped. But today at 2 A.M I woke up after sleeping for half an hour or so and started edging. I did it for a while but I was tired and went to sleep. I woke up this morning and continued then I switched to watching porn.
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Just stopping - i would love to believe it would be so easy, but most of us know it isn't. The journey begins when you stop. Then the process of self-reflection is starting, tackling issues of the self, looking to darker corners of your personality and finding out about relationships of your. There will come stuff up and that's normal and good.

Anyway, it seems a bit for me that you start edging and looking at P as some kind of an instead-act. Is there something you should really do or is there someone in your conscience that would say to you "you have to do this and that and be like that and this" ?

Imsor
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
imsorrynotsorry said:
Just stopping - i would love to believe it would be so easy, but most of us know it isn't. The journey begins when you stop. Then the process of self-reflection is starting, tackling issues of the self, looking to darker corners of your personality and finding out about relationships of your. There will come stuff up and that's normal and good.

Anyway, it seems a bit for me that you start edging and looking at P as some kind of an instead-act. Is there something you should really do or is there someone in your conscience that would say to you "you have to do this and that and be like that and this" ?

Imsor

Definitely. There is a lot to do after I stop.
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
scott.84 said:
Well done, man. It's huge to withstand binging after a relapse. Just keep going. You'll be fine :)

First time in a while without binging.
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
Day 2

Thank God for free days because I was tired of going to work feeling depressed and low in energy. I need to do one crucial thing: Avoid engaging with the porn that is stored in my memory. I can't stress this enough because this is how it all starts: I engage with those hypersexualized thoughts that release a lot of dopamine, the craving gets unbearable, I want to edge, I start edging and then this is like going downhill on ice. I slip all the way down.
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
I've been trying to quit porn and masturbation for over 10 years. A few years ago (2015?) I've discovered porn addiction and I've been fighting to escape it since. Since then, my longest streak without porn and masturbation was 21 days, exactly 3 weeks. And my longest with two masturbatin sessions without thinking about porn was 40+ days. It's ridiculous. Longer streaks are so rare for me and nowadays I can't even go more than a week. I'm fuckin tired of this shit. I guess I'm kind of stressed out. Stress out about my life mostly. I don't know in which direction is going. I live a completely lonely life as a result of the mistake of isolating myself for years. I'm 30 years old and my parents want me to get married and I think this stresses me enough. My success with girls is absolutely zero not to mention the porn addiction. I'm my parents' only kid. If I don't have kids, this family is over. And thinking about this makes me super depressed. My dad once told me: "Have kids to have who to leave everything to." Okay. But I guess I will just sell everything and leave with rent until I die if I reach the point of being a bitter old man without kids. It's ridiculous. If I don't quit porn, I have no chance, I swear.
 

TheHeartacheKid

Active Member
So I don't know where you're from or what cultural pressures you feel from your parents, but having kids and that sort of thing is a decision to be made for yourself and with your partner.  But I also understand that I don't get that same type of pressure in my culture, so it's easy for me to say.

However, right now man you have to focus on you.  I know it's hard, but you'll need to let go of this pressure right now, because if you're quitting so you can fulfill someone else's wishes, chances are you won't be successful.  Has to be for you and only you.  Now you can have a goal of quitting so you'll be able to be a better partner/father in the future, but that is also a decision you make for yourself.

But you went 21 days man!  You can do it for sure.  I believe 21 days is like the milestone, if you can make it 21 days without anything, then you know for sure you possess the capacity to do without it forever.  So please give yourself a break, I understand the depression and feeling like shit and feeling stuck.  Accept that you'll feel that way for awhile and it is mostly (if not entirely) due to the addiction fighting back because you're trying to quit.  If you can accept that and remind of yourself of it, it'll lessen the pain in the moment.  Won't make it completely better, but once you realize it's temporary and it's necessary for the growth you desire, it won't be nearly as bad.  You'll be able to function despite the pain.  And every time you function through the pain, it gets weaker and weaker.

Stay strong man, you've already proven you can do this, just have to wait it out now is all.  Fill that time with things you enjoy doing (other than P :p).  I look forward to hearing more from you.
 

Chris Oz

Well-Known Member
I second everything THK said, really great advice.

Do it for yourself! and understand that there are gonna be shitty feelings and moments during this recovery, but once you accept it. Then begin to actively work on becoming better. It's not how hard you fall, but the courage you have to get up again and again when you fall.

If you can just get back up, hey you've won one battle. You're a winner already. Now, fight to stay on your feet, that's the next battle.

Be like that little kid learning to walk. You're gonna have lots of falls. But hey, you see them getting back up and trying again don't you? It's the spirit to keep fighting, that persistent, never give up attitude that makes winners man.

Keep pushing, we're all here for you.
 

scott.84

Member
I also agree on everything that was said above. It's your life! You don't have to do what anybody expects from you. Also, forcing yourself into something others want you to do or to be will certainly not make you happy.

I can tell that because I'm gay. And I have a grandmother which wants me to have children, too. Even though she already has two great-grandchildren from my brother. But it's not going to happen. Not just because I'm gay, I don't want children. Its my personal decision. This might be hard for my grandmother who still sometimes talks about me having a girlfriend, marry her and get children. But this is obviously not what I want and who I am. And if she really loves me unconditionally, she will accept that and be happy for me living the life I want.

So quit porn for yourself. Try getting out more, meet new people. Maybe you meet the girl of your dreams, maybe you don't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. You don't know what's going to happen. But you can put yourself in a direction that is healthy, makes you happy and that creates new possibilities. Just don't do it for somebody else. You're the important part here :)
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
Day 3 Day 0

Thank you everyone for support and advice! I appreciate it.

Relapse again. I've failed to do anything those past 2 months. Serial relapser. I can't even reach 1 week. I binged and I don't feel anything, this shit makes me mind completely numb.
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
I've lost so much because of this shit. I could've accomplished so much more. I got a taste of what it means to leave my brain alone with this porn shit but I couldn't fuckin mentain the streaks. Back then it was alcohol that got me in the end but now I haven't been drinking in 18 days and still relapsed. I thought I got it after quitting alcohol. Fuck! I don't know what's going on, man. I used to do this better, what the fuck happened to me? What did change in worse? Fuck, I think I know what. Fuckin bullshit, man. I'm too unhappy with my life, of course porn wins. Of course addictions win, man. All I've been trying to do was medicating myself, escaping, running away... I mean, seriously, those fuckin things became my only joy in life. Alcohol and porn. I know I need to do some heavy changes but it's too fuckin hard when I have no energy, no motivation, no mental tolerance, a lot of anxiety and so and so. This shit needs to end or else *I* end. I'm killing myself like this. The only good thing, really the only good thing in this shit is that I got an 18 days alcohol free streak, I don't even remember when this happened last time. This is the only good thing, everything else is shit.
 

Chris Oz

Well-Known Member
You're not alone man. Get up and fight.

And also, don't regard your victories however small as shit. Many are struggling to stay away for one day. You did it for 3 days, that's progress. Remember that success is not linear. The results come in and build up exponentially. Don't expect to get it over at once.

Make a plan, try it out, if you fail, iterate it and try again. Keep yourself motivated and always looking at the end goal and you'd be fine.

Just keep pushing back
 

TheHeartacheKid

Active Member
Hey man, I'm sorry you're going through a rough time.  Don't listen to all of these bullshit thoughts that you've lost so much or you could have accomplished so much more, just the addiction fighting back.  People who aren't addicts also feel like they could have done more.  And of course, anybody using the knowledge they have today would say they could have done better looking back.  You're no different than anyone else, with the exception that you're pinpointing your issues and working to better them.  There are people who are not addicts who never make those realizations.

And also man, trying to manage alcohol and porn?  Dude, the fact that you put any streaks together is seriously nothing short of amazing.  If I had to quit drinking, or any other vice and porn?  I doubt I'd make it out of the first day.  18 days no booze, and only uses P once or twice during that span?  You're a role model man.

You've got this, the past is done, so who gives a shit?  Only person you hurt was you, so do this for you, and fill the time with things you like and I would bet that you'll have quite the savory life once you make it to the other side.

Pain comes with the territory my friend.  It won't be easy, it isn't for any of us, but that's why we do it.  Stay strong, you're making so many good choices right now.  Don't forget that.
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
Chris and Heartache, thank you for support.

We are the victims of lack of knowledge. I'll tell you a story. I fucked with smoking cigarettes when I was a kid, I got caught by my parents and they gave me a book. In the book, there was a chapter about how cigarettes can cause cancer and also talking about some celebrities that had died because of smoking. I didn't quit because I was afraid of getting caught a second time, I quit because I was afraid of dying. And to be honest, even today that shit stuck with me. Who knows if I would've been here if I had known about porn addiction. Okay, it doesn't kill anybody but still... Just an exercise of imagination. The only way out is through pain and I haven't been doing a good job with this.
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
I need to up the fuckin game, man. Otherwise I will still be here at 50 years old. The more I postpone the recovery, the older I get and the more time I lose. I make a promise to myself here that this will be the final streak, however hard it will be. I will give everything I have, for the first time.
 

SebUK

Active Member
escapeandnevercomeback said:
Chris and Heartache, thank you for support.

We are the victims of lack of knowledge. I'll tell you a story. I fucked with smoking cigarettes when I was a kid, I got caught by my parents and they gave me a book. In the book, there was a chapter about how cigarettes can cause cancer and also talking about some celebrities that had died because of smoking. I didn't quit because I was afraid of getting caught a second time, I quit because I was afraid of dying. And to be honest, even today that shit stuck with me. Who knows if I would've been here if I had known about porn addiction. Okay, it doesn't kill anybody but still... Just an exercise of imagination. The only way out is through pain and I haven't been doing a good job with this.
Dude... if there had been the same kind of negative campaigns against porn in the late 90s/early 2000s when I got addicted, as there were against smoking/drink driving/drugs etc, I am SURE I would not be addicted now. I am not addicted to anything else and never have been. Only porn. So I completely agree with you.

In fact, porn was seen as healthy when I was young, actually it still is in popular media. And maybe for most people it is, or at least, not addictive.

It annoys me quite a lot actually. I feel like a guinea pig in that my life has been ruined a lot by porn and I've had little help from society for dealing with it, until the last few years at least.
 
E

escapeandnevercomeback

Guest
SebNZ said:
Dude... if there had been the same kind of negative campaigns against porn in the late 90s/early 2000s when I got addicted, as there were against smoking/drink driving/drugs etc, I am SURE I would not be addicted now. I am not addicted to anything else and never have been. Only porn. So I completely agree with you.

In fact, porn was seen as healthy when I was young, actually it still is in popular media. And maybe for most people it is, or at least, not addictive.

It annoys me quite a lot actually. I feel like a guinea pig in that my life has been ruined a lot by porn and I've had little help from society for dealing with it, until the last few years at least.

That's right. That's what I'm talking about. I was a virgin in high school and I thought hardcore porn was going to teach me how to have sex, not realizing that I couldn't have sex because of this shit. Porn is everywhere nowadays, a lot of it disguised as social media, regular before midnight movies, advertisement around the city, Youtube, music videos etc. All this keeps you stimulated, keeps your dopamine high and makes you want more. It's a super stimulus. It's an exaggeration of our natural reward circuit. It's junk food for our sexual brain. Many guys are hooked on this "disguised porn" without even realizing, looking at girls on social media who dress like sluts. Porn has spread all over our modern world, it's disgusting. It's a big ocean but if we can't dry it, we can get out of the water and leave them hooked while we save ourselves. I don't want to get into conspiracy theories, but something ain't right about all this porn available in different forms. Anyway, thousand thanks to Gabe Deem for Reboot Nation, the best forum-type place that deals with porn addiction that I've encountered so far.
 
Top