Journals > Ages 30-39

Time to get back my life

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CB:
Hello!

I’m here again, will make a journal about as many days a week that I can. I’ve been going down the spiral of sexchatting with anonymous people and porn again.
Me and my gf want to have children now and I guess my performance anxiety is going through the roof, much easier avoid real sex and blow off steam with porn and sexchatting.

Intimacy issies just get worse with everytime I masturbate and I don’t have any list for real sex.. Want to stay off from it now for a while.

I need to take one day at a time now again.

akpal2:
welcome CB, good luck with your journey. I am having serious trouble with sexting as well and which is why i am here trying to recover. I have recovered from this once earlier so it can be done.

I wish you luck. Keep posting your progress here.

CB:
Thanks Akpal2!

Today didn’t go too well, pmo 2 times.
I’ll not let in to the urges tomorrow. It’s always more difficult when I’ve been doing it for many days on end. But tomorrow I will do all I can. I need to adress the triggers.. It just takes a picture of a girl and my mind goes off.. ”one last time when I get home”

I spend much time in my head going back and forth with these thoughts about pmo or sexting. I know when I was free from pmo or sexting for almost a year I wasn’t at all as occupied with the thoughts. They will go, but the hardest part is just not letting myself lose to the urge right now.

Back tomorrow for status

akpal2:
Hi CB,

I can relate completely. Unfortunately i have had the problem of fantasizing in my mind a lot as well, which has led to trouble. It is difficult to get out because the constant stream of dopamine is incredible. We have to starve the brain of dopamine, it is not easy but that is what we have to do.

CB:
Yes totally with you, the scary part is the withdrawals. But it is managable, last time I fougjt through it. This time is no excuse.. Thoughts are hitting me with pictures in my mind of things I’ve seen.
Today when I come home I will NOT venture off on sites where I get stuck in the trap of pmo.

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