Hi. I'm from Germany, 36 years old and I have been using porn since I have been on the internet, which must have been around the age of 14. I still remember downloading porn with a 56K modem on Windows 98
Also, I'm gay.
I have always been a little anxious and shy towards other people. I guess that's one reason why using porn seemed so appealing to me in the first place. I guess it's a reason for a lot of people with anxiety issues to get into the "porn trap". So most of the time in my previous life I was using porn at least once a day in order to jerk off.
But through the years I worked on my issues, got a lot more confident, less shy when talking to people. But the porn use remained. Even in relationships I did not stop using porn. When having sex, I was mostly the passive part, since I didn't get an erection. I always thought that would be because of my circumcision. But at the end of 2019 I started restoring my foreskin and I must admit that jerking off about one and a half year later feels much better than before. (Even though I'm not at the end of that process.)
But when having sex with a partner, the erectile dysfunction remains. It's still really hard for me to get hard when being with someone else. Even if I get aroused and hard by seeing pictures of that person, it is very possible to not get hard when being intimate with that person. So I actually started looking for other things that might cause that problem.
In December 2020 I decided to jerk off less (but still to porn, since I didn't want to give that up) because I thought maybe jerking off too often is the problem.
At 31.12.2020 I made a promise to myself: Not to watch porn or masturbate for the whole of January. I even told a guy I'm chatting with. But actually, I haven't kept my promise long. I started watching porn some time ago and even edged to it. Although I managed not to cum until now, I feel really bad about myself not being able to let go of porn and masturbation for at least a whole month.
So I found out about porn addiction and rebooting and got myself educated about all of it. Since I have quit smoking twice (the first time I quit long-term I stayed smoke-free for five years, then relapsed and smoked again for five years, being now smoke-free for over two years after my second long-term quit in 2018) I must say that a lot of things about nicotine addiction are similar to porn addiction.
So like I quit tobacco in hard mode, I'm going to quit porn and masturbation in hard mode. My goals are, and I'm writing them here so I can be sure I am really meaning this:
1. To go hard mode for 90 days, counting starts tomorrow. Even if I haven't had an orgasm in 2021, the edging and porn use today won't make it count.
2. I have collected all of my porn files in the trash. There are 2.8 TiB of data waiting to be deleted right after I have published that post. This feels kinda weird and it hurts, but I guess there is no other way than deleting it.
I'll keep you updated on my reboot!
Cheers, scott
Also, I'm gay.
I have always been a little anxious and shy towards other people. I guess that's one reason why using porn seemed so appealing to me in the first place. I guess it's a reason for a lot of people with anxiety issues to get into the "porn trap". So most of the time in my previous life I was using porn at least once a day in order to jerk off.
But through the years I worked on my issues, got a lot more confident, less shy when talking to people. But the porn use remained. Even in relationships I did not stop using porn. When having sex, I was mostly the passive part, since I didn't get an erection. I always thought that would be because of my circumcision. But at the end of 2019 I started restoring my foreskin and I must admit that jerking off about one and a half year later feels much better than before. (Even though I'm not at the end of that process.)
But when having sex with a partner, the erectile dysfunction remains. It's still really hard for me to get hard when being with someone else. Even if I get aroused and hard by seeing pictures of that person, it is very possible to not get hard when being intimate with that person. So I actually started looking for other things that might cause that problem.
In December 2020 I decided to jerk off less (but still to porn, since I didn't want to give that up) because I thought maybe jerking off too often is the problem.
At 31.12.2020 I made a promise to myself: Not to watch porn or masturbate for the whole of January. I even told a guy I'm chatting with. But actually, I haven't kept my promise long. I started watching porn some time ago and even edged to it. Although I managed not to cum until now, I feel really bad about myself not being able to let go of porn and masturbation for at least a whole month.
So I found out about porn addiction and rebooting and got myself educated about all of it. Since I have quit smoking twice (the first time I quit long-term I stayed smoke-free for five years, then relapsed and smoked again for five years, being now smoke-free for over two years after my second long-term quit in 2018) I must say that a lot of things about nicotine addiction are similar to porn addiction.
So like I quit tobacco in hard mode, I'm going to quit porn and masturbation in hard mode. My goals are, and I'm writing them here so I can be sure I am really meaning this:
1. To go hard mode for 90 days, counting starts tomorrow. Even if I haven't had an orgasm in 2021, the edging and porn use today won't make it count.
2. I have collected all of my porn files in the trash. There are 2.8 TiB of data waiting to be deleted right after I have published that post. This feels kinda weird and it hurts, but I guess there is no other way than deleting it.
I'll keep you updated on my reboot!
Cheers, scott