Author Topic: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!  (Read 2606 times)

guitarman8

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17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« on: May 19, 2016, 04:29:40 PM »
Hi everyone, before I get into my story with porn-induced sexual dysfunction, I just wanted to give as much background about myself as I possibly could.

I am just an average 17 year old dude. I've been into sports and fitness my whole life. I have been involved in various athletics since I was about 4 years old. I have a slightly lean muscular body which I am proud of but am striving for better. I have always been social, always trying to make people laugh, and ever since my teenage years have been relatively good with girls. I started watching porn at around the beginning of middle school, I remember being able to get off to anything. As I got older however, the types of scenes that gave me pleasure have continuously narrowed down.

I've been sexually active since around 14-15 years old and lost my virginity to my ex-girlfriend at 15. I never really though that I had any sexual dysfunction during that relationship but really took notice how long I lasted. I mean it would take over half an hour for me to finish from handjobs, blowjobs, even sex. I would usually only finish from my own hand after her giving me head for a while. After a few successful attempts at sex one time it went wrong and I was not able to get hard. It was terrifying for me and of course when I got home that day I googled my problem and came across tons of articles about Porn's effect on sexual function. My porn use at the time I would say was moderately heavy. Probably everyday. I don't remember myself ever involved in any vulgar and crazy types of scenes, but I do remember being very specific about what I liked. After that I immediately decided to go no PMO for a week and it worked! I was back to normal with her and for the remainder of that relationship there were never any big issues. After that week I picked up moderate porn use once again. I broke up with her earlier this year for different reasons but it was a good decision and it was not a bad break up.

For about a few months after that I was single, had a few hook ups that did not go past kissing, and I was again using porn. I was not using porn everyday however, because school had gotten hard and I would honestly just fall asleep right after my homework was done. A few months ago I reconnected with an old friend of mine who moved away when I was 13 years old. She was my first real big crush, I had a lot of feelings for her but nothing besides friendship ever developed. After we reconnected however, all of the feelings for her came back, and she even confessed that she had a lot of feelings for me too. She still has family where I live so she visited for a week in the winter and we hooked up (just kissing). After she left we continued to talk over facetime and text and we grew even closer than we already were from knowing each other for so long. She visited again and we hooked up again (just kissing). We both wanted to have sex, but I realized that I had been using porn a lot and was scared that my problem came back. Shortly after we became official and I made her my girlfriend. She visited once more about a week ago, and after an amazing day spent together, we tried to have sex. My fear was confirmed as absolutely nothing got me hard. She completely understood and I just gave her oral until she finished.

Our relationship currently is still amazing and does not seem dented by that failed attempt, however I really do love this girl, as much as a 17 year old possibly could, I really care for her and want to feel that connection with her on a physical level. I have made a promise to myself that I will cure this PIED for both myself and her. I am currently 4 days in and very optimistic. I have cleaned up my diet and started going harder at the gym and on the field. Her next visit will be in about a month and I do want to try having sex again with her. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make love to my beautiful, amazing girlfriend.

This is my first time ever writing a blog post, so I am very sorry if this isn't a good quality report. All in all I am nervous about my PIED especially since I am only 17 and am a healthy outgoing kid who had never involved in SUPER heavy porn use. I will be keeping up with my journal. Any advice from people of all ages is greatly appreciated!!

PS:
-I don't really get any morning wood
-I was able to get hard while making out with my current girlfriend
-I am able to get fully hard to porn
-I am able to get a semi and sometimes fully hard just by sensation

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2016, 04:33:06 PM »
BTW if there are any questions, personal or not, that you guys may have for me to get a better understanding of what I am going through, please feel free to ask. I am 100% determined to do whatever it takes to get my erection rock solid again and to have a wonderful sex life again.

Jones

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2016, 09:21:49 PM »
Hello Man,
I understand everything you're saying all you have to do to get a rock solid erection back is just try and do a 90 days reboot, meaning (NO porn,masturbation,orgasm).Since you said you were not a heavy porn user it might take a little less time but i recommend trying the 90 days and you'll be FINE!!!!.
If you have any question(s) feel free to ask

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2016, 09:36:40 PM »
Hey Jones,
I can't thank you enough for your reply. It is very calming that there is such a supportive community for this confusing issue. As for your advice, I am determined to go at least for a month with no PMO but I really do want to try to have sex with my girlfriend when she comes to visit. Since our time together is limited it makes me miss her and want to have sex even more. However, I do understand that fixing myself is more important than anything. Do you think if I do try to have sex with her, whether a failed or successful attempt, would set me back in any progress that I have made?
Thanks again!

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2016, 11:10:42 PM »
Kind of in a confusing situation right now. I felt like I was flat lining for the past two days because no spontaneous erections and minimal libido. However I was testing it out to see if I would be able to get hard to just sensation and I was, I was also curious if I would be able to get off to just sensation, which I also was. I am kind of upset because I broke my MO streak but it also might be a good thing because I did not have any visual or mental stimulation and was able to have a powerful orgasm. Could this be a sign of a quicker reboot since I really do not think I am addicted to porn. I am still going to never watch porn again because I do think that is the root of the problem and a disgusting habit. Can someone tell me what they think of the situation? I will try my best to go on another no PMO streak for as long as I can since I know that my member is functioning well to just touch.

LoneWolf

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2016, 03:47:57 AM »
Kind of in a confusing situation right now. I felt like I was flat lining for the past two days because no spontaneous erections and minimal libido. However I was testing it out to see if I would be able to get hard to just sensation and I was, I was also curious if I would be able to get off to just sensation, which I also was. I am kind of upset because I broke my MO streak but it also might be a good thing because I did not have any visual or mental stimulation and was able to have a powerful orgasm. Could this be a sign of a quicker reboot since I really do not think I am addicted to porn. I am still going to never watch porn again because I do think that is the root of the problem and a disgusting habit. Can someone tell me what they think of the situation? I will try my best to go on another no PMO streak for as long as I can since I know that my member is functioning well to just touch.

I'm a heavy addict. At my day 4 of my first try of rebooting I masturbated just with hands and I felt the same thing as you, it felt good for me and you because it was a relief from the drug. Try to stop masturbating too, it's necessary. It's only 90 days or so. But after 90 days you'll see that is not necessary to go back on this.
Try to read as much as possible at http://yourbrainonporn.com/ and try to put the tips that you found there in practice.
Objective streak: Get through today without PMOing

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2016, 08:28:52 AM »
Day 5:
Still have not watched porn but as I said I had that MO last night. I am feeling great today and energetic even though I got little sleep from studying last night. I've gotten two compliments today, my friend noticed that I had gotten bigger and a girl said that my face seemed to be glowing. I noticed that since no PMO I have not been waking up in the middle of the night like I used to and I have been having vivid dream every night. Even after my MO I slept through the whole night and dreamed. I will continue a strict no PMO regimen until my girlfriend visits me in about a month, and I will take it from there. Porn is definitely something I will never go back to, I have no urges to, and I know that this will just have a negative effect on my life.

I obviously will reset my PMO counter today, but my no P counter is now at 5!

I will continue with these journals as much as I can, thanks to any responses, any advice is still greatly appreciated!

LoneWolf

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2016, 05:48:47 PM »
Great.
Keep it up.
Objective streak: Get through today without PMOing

offaxis

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2016, 03:41:00 AM »
Hello,

There's a lot to go through with your story.

Firstly, thank yourself for coming and reaching out. That takes a lot of courage and strength of heart to do. I can feel how anxious and uncertain you feel about your condition and the whole situation here. I hope you can stay relaxed or find ways to do that for yourself and please keep posting here.

Personally, I think the type of images you look at isn't important. Maybe you personally feel more shame about certain types of images instead of others (I did) but really that detail does not matter. Whether alcoholic gets drunk on beer or whiskey, the effect on them is the same. And the same is true of us. We are dopamine junkies and it's fantasy and images that drive that. You say you are physically fit and athletic, which is good. Exercise contributes also to giving you a dopamine hit. Maybe if you already do a lot of exercise work, having other less physical activities to train your brain to enjoy may help there too. That is finding balance. Exercise is still really critical I feel, so I don't want to discourage you at all from that .

I think using everyday is heavy use. There are always different degrees and levels among us. I got to that point in my later months when I was really out of control. I think it's important you can acknowledge that usage level openly and honestly to yourself. That's critical so you can break through the denial and minimisation and then start forgiving yourself and moving on with life. Recovery is a process and a journey, not simply a decision to quit porn.

I kept a journal these past 6 months of coming off, which has really helped me a lot. Mostly as a private outlet also for reflection and keeping perspective on myself and progress. It's so hard to see yourself objectively. Measuring yourself only by physical milestones like when/how you can get an errection I think underplays the emotional changes and attitude to life in you. It makes you focus on just one part of your character - can I have sex with my girlfriend? Rather than the bigger, harder questions like what would be a satisfying life together with your girlfriend and the future you could share together?

I can certainly connect a lot with the problem of not being able to perform and feeling really jittery through that. I think part of that feeling is normal and is your body telling you things aren't right.

Have you considered talking to your girlfriend about your struggles? There are a lot of things to consider both ways of she knows or doesn't know and you keep it a secret from her. Probably you fear if you tell her, she'll reject you and you'll lose her. That's a very real and natural fear. Equally, I can tell you that porn loves secrecy and imagine how hurt she may feel if she discovered it later, especially by accident. There is no simple answer. You have to decide one way or the other by your actions.

Finally, I would like to encourage you to look at what triggers you wanting to look at porn? That is very important to better understanding how and why you want porn. What feelings you have. Then you can find other positive activities instead that fulfil you and help better manage that feelings and stresses from life.

Peace and please keep posting and educating yourself. You are so young with so much bright future free from porn.

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2016, 06:28:32 AM »
Hi everyone, I just relapsed after a week of no P use. I realized that during this week I have been regaining sensation in my member, and was wondering if this relapse sets back all of my progress recovering from any PIED i may have had. I am upset, but happy because my current feeling is just another reason for me to dig myself out of this hole

Jones

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2016, 08:34:52 AM »
Hey Jones,
I can't thank you enough for your reply. It is very calming that there is such a supportive community for this confusing issue. As for your advice, I am determined to go at least for a month with no PMO but I really do want to try to have sex with my girlfriend when she comes to visit. Since our time together is limited it makes me miss her and want to have sex even more. However, I do understand that fixing myself is more important than anything. Do you think if I do try to have sex with her, whether a failed or successful attempt, would set me back in any progress that I have made?
Thanks again!

During your reboot you can have sex if you want but if you orgasm while having sex it'll set you back,remember it's no porn,masturbation,"ORGASM"

LoneWolf

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2016, 06:01:31 PM »
Hi everyone, I just relapsed after a week of no P use. I realized that during this week I have been regaining sensation in my member, and was wondering if this relapse sets back all of my progress recovering from any PIED i may have had. I am upset, but happy because my current feeling is just another reason for me to dig myself out of this hole
You never lose progress, you make progress for good or bad, relapsing you progressed a point in badly.
Objective streak: Get through today without PMOing

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2016, 09:42:21 AM »
Hi everyone! I haven't posted here in a while which I don't really have an excuse for but here are my good/bad updates while I've been gone. I am currently on my 14th day with no P which I am proud of and am currently on my 4th day since M. I was my gf yesterday and my drive was strong and was able to stay hard during oral, however as we were about to have sex I could feel my erection weakening while getting the condom. There was something external that interrupted our session before I got the chance to even try to penetrate. I am concerned that I still wasn't able to have a strong erection, but I am seeing improvements.

I think I have developed some performance anxiety as well, my gf is very supportive of the situation but I still want to fulfill her desires so badly. I am able to get her off through oral and fingering but there is nothing like the connection when having sex. She is going on a family trip for 10 days but after that she is staying with me for the whole summer. For those 10 days I will go hard mode and see how it works out.

I don't see myself ever returning to P I have absolutely no urges. But I am still confused about the M question. Are there any negative effects from abstaining from MO? Does it decrease testosterone production at all? Any thoughts?

Thank you!

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2016, 04:30:57 PM »
Day 16 no PMO and day 6 no MO. I'm currently feeling depressed and have realized how up and down my mood has been recently. This is all so strange to me because I don't feel like I was ever that much of a porn addict (maybe addicted to masturbation). I am not sure if these are any withdrawal symptoms, but recently I have been feeling extremely anxious about when I will finally be able to have sex with my gf. I feel a high libido but I don't feel confident in my erection at all. I have not touched my dick at all in the past 6 days, so I don't know how hard I could get on sensation alone ( I think I can get pretty hard because I have been able to in the past) However, during this past week or so I have not gotten any morning wood, no urges, and no feeling of horniness really, unless I was with my girlfriend.

Man I just want to feel the connection of sex with this girl so badly, I know how much both of us will enjoy it when it finally happens.

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2016, 09:01:51 PM »
Hey guys,
Closing in on day 18 no PMO and day 8 no MO. One thing I realized is that I did feel flatlined since I kinda had a dead dick and everything, but I did have a lot of libido, probably because of my gf. It was like a "if i could, I would feeling". Today I was super horny throughout the day, and felt great, I know this by no means is the end of anything and I still have a long way to go. But spontaneous boners are very motivational and that's great. Still seeing great improvement in the gym which is awesome. I also feel a lot of self control. I am sitting writing this post with huge tension down there feeling like it needs a release but I am in full control and know that I will not relapse or fap. Will see my gf in 6 days, I miss her so much. As much as I do want to have sex with her, I appreciate all of the little things with her as well.

guitarman8

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #15 on: June 12, 2016, 09:03:59 AM »
Day 20 no PMO day 10 no MO

My libido has been through the roof I've been so horny lately. I woke up today to a wet dream (my first one ever) I barely came though, like maybe a drop or two is that normal?

I've had absolutely no urges for P but I have had a lot for M but I feel like I'm in full control. I have been using the gym and soccer to release tension.

DonReboot

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Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2016, 01:34:48 PM »
Hey man,

as i am around your age, i understand you.

I have a few tips for you, even though i am personally not over the hill, to say it metaphorically.

First, do start meditation (Google Play Store: Calm), read about meditating, about how the addiction changed your brain wirings for bad.

Second, do voice training (search the web for it)

Third, write down your goals on a paper, and behind it the way of acheaving it

Fourth, start a brainal (is this even a word) hobby, my personal favourite is music: Get information about a decent setup, and listen to your songs. Feels good, i promise (if it doesnt work, your setup aint good enough xD ). Be aware, gaming -in my eyes- is not an appropriate hobby, at least not during reboot.

Fifth, invest your money in good outfits/ an evening with your mates, girls, parents etc / or in new posters for your room

Sixth: Rebuild your room, move the furniture, turn it heads-down.

Go and have your life man!