Author Topic: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years  (Read 4374 times)

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #50 on: September 28, 2019, 08:59:53 PM »
I'm with you, man. I feel you. Let's make it to the end of the year clean. Try to stay away as much as possible from gadgets.

hey Man Lero, yes dude we got to make this year better atleast as it ends.
I have been thinking from this morning about eliminating my lonely time totally with internet facing gadgets until i hit my reboot goals.

I think that's the only option i have now. as I am unable hold myself in those vulnerable lonely moments with internet facing gadgets.

I will go into office every day possible .
when i work from home i will go to a coffee shop and work instead of being alone at home.
I will stop spending time in the early mornings doing my stuff with my computer and instead either go out running or do something else but no internet facing gadgets.
I will stop browsing in the late evenings on my laptop when everyone is getting ready to hit the bed at home.

i will start doing these right now and hope to get back stronger this year and finish at where i am (65 relapses this year).
I am starting on this new way of life 'eliminate lonely time around internet facing gadgets' right now after i finish writing this note.

 i want to prove it to myself this time that i am not an all talks no action man and please myself with success of my reboot.
please my lord with my achievements in reboot and self transformation.

May god bless all and help each one of us striving to be good and sober.

we may be weak today but we will sail through with gods grace , constant practice and our abilities to persevere.


man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #51 on: October 02, 2019, 06:33:36 PM »
I relapsed again today . i knew it all but i never made any effort to stop it.

I lost it. i am the only one at fault . i don't stop myself. i am too poor in stopping myself.

only 90 days left in this year 2019. I really want to complete one successful 90 day reboot this year.

I want it badly . but i need to go get it now. its time to go get it now.

god please help me get one successful 90 day reboot this year.
only one.

Free-man

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 242
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #52 on: October 03, 2019, 01:53:22 AM »
Sorry to hear that,
How it was happened?
Did you install porn blockers?
The process requires commitment and some action (go out, make exercise, avoid thoughts, reading, distracting and focus in other things…) when the urges and cravings appears.
1. Learn about how it works the visual artificial stimulation in our brains (high dopamine levels)
2. Install porn blockers in computer, tablet and phone. Avoid thoughts and fantasies
3. Learn to live with the withdrawal (all related with the abstinence period in the first 90 days like pains, depression, sadness, loneliness, anger…)

Learn about how you relapsed, take notes and start again
Don't give up!

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #53 on: October 16, 2019, 01:53:31 PM »
I could last for 11 days this time without a relapse.

i will never to able to complete a single 90 day clean reboot in 2019 . its gone. :( i am scared that my life will also be gone without a single 90 day clean reboot . i don't want that to happen. God save me.

I am starting over today hoping to compete a 76 day clean streak atleast in 2019. if not 90 day .

I am going to turn on porn blockers on all laptops and phones so I don't slip into P or sexting easily and i atleast get a red signal when i am on the slippery slide next time .

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #54 on: October 16, 2019, 05:32:26 PM »
i have relapsed 69 times this year untill today

through out the year 2018 i had relapsed 71 times.

so 2018 was much better compared to this year :(.

hoping to turn things around in the remaining days this year.

i feel like i am trying to push against a huge mountain that is just pushing me backwards.
this is so difficult.

I took 1 step ahead in 2018 and my Sexting and P habit is pushing me 2 step backwards in 2019.

one thing i need to do to be successful is to stop myself when triggered by my brain after 10-11 days , thats when i fail.
also at 10th or 11th day i get dreams of P and then the next morning i relapse looking at cell phone.

i will need to look out for that dream trigger next time when i reach 10th or 11th day and then let it go past me without relapsing so i march on to 20 days and 30s and so on.

i will start over tomorrow.



NewStart04

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
  • Personal Text
    He who makes a beast of himself...
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #55 on: October 17, 2019, 01:15:17 AM »
man_in_30s_rebootingnow

Here's a quote I remember encountering when reading Gary Wilson's Your Brain on Porn.

Quote
In that very moment when you feel you’re weakest, when you feel like the urge is gonna defeat you, that’s the moment in which you need to stay strong. On the other side of that urge is your breakthrough

I hope you remember this the next time you reach that tenth or eleventh day. You can definitely do it. Break on through to the other side.

Take care

Free-man

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 242
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #56 on: October 17, 2019, 06:15:24 AM »
Great Quote!

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #57 on: October 18, 2019, 03:24:56 PM »
man_in_30s_rebootingnow

Here's a quote I remember encountering when reading Gary Wilson's Your Brain on Porn.

Quote
In that very moment when you feel you’re weakest, when you feel like the urge is gonna defeat you, that’s the moment in which you need to stay strong. On the other side of that urge is your breakthrough

I hope you remember this the next time you reach that tenth or eleventh day. You can definitely do it. Break on through to the other side.

Take care

Yes, that is the breaking point in which we need to hold our nerves. had we mastered that art we wouldn't be on this forum.

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #58 on: October 31, 2019, 04:14:56 PM »
I have been donig very poor over last two weeks.

There were 4 relapses and a lot of Sexting and PMO. feeling like under a seize here.

I could not last longer than 6 days this month .

Total relapses in 2019 upto today - 73
Total relapses in year 2018 -           71
Total relapses in year 2017 -           92


I have been giving in to this addiction each time i get a slightest temptation in my brain and it just takes over me for 3-4 hours .
I just want to do my best in the remainder of 2019 and may be hit a 25 day clean streak at least this year before December 31st.
At some point this year i was aiming at 100 days streak and here I am aiming for a 25 days clean streak.
Is this that powerful that it is crushing my determination and will power in 2019 into bits and pieces?
I guess it is . or I guess I am not taking the command over my days and nights and life. That's why.

I will get back later. Take care guys . God Bless.

switcheroc

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 18
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #59 on: November 02, 2019, 10:57:32 AM »
You seem to be facing big relapse problems, mate. You need to ask yourself these questions: How has porn consumption affected your life? What real negative effects are you seeing? And what positive effects have you experienced during your long streaks? I'm not finding any real motivation, so your "fight" is not there.

You shouldn't be "targeting" your relapses. If you really plan to quit, you should stop PMO cold turkey and target ZERO relapses! No more porn! Stop that shit okay bro!

We all got endless internet on our fingertips. Uninstall your "adult" apps and sexty stuff, delete any porn files, wipe your history and cache, unfollow porno twitter/instagram accounts, and instead of watching porn videos, watch NoFap videos on YouTube instead, you'll be surprised how that could motivate you. There was this 17yo teenage kid doing NoFap videos, he was off PMO for like 300 days, it was cool! When every other 17yo is beating his dick day in day out, this guy actually beat his addiction. I was like, "damn! If this kid can do it, I can totally do it!"

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #60 on: November 07, 2019, 11:04:53 PM »
I agree . I am having some serious relapse problems. its like i act like i don't have a slight control over my actions. I truely believe that I don't have any control on my actions and that is my ONLY problem to be frank and yet I haven't taken control untill today.

That is tragic.

I relapsed today and yesterday so now its 2 relapses in november 2019 and so standing at 75 relapses in 2019.

I was also rejected after a final round job interview this week after making it past multiple rounds of interviewing and i am feeling like a loser in personal and professional life ! now that is double blow to my condifence.

I feel loads of guilt for sexting and wasting money on cam sites. i wish none of that ever happened in my life. I don't buy my wife a costly gift but i spent hundreds of dollars on cam sites for few minutes of P. I think i am falling so low in my life that I hate myself and feel so powerless, out of control or being controlled by sexting sites and PMO.

Hope to take back control of my life in my hands atleast from tomorrow! God Bless everyone.


man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #61 on: November 17, 2019, 09:42:41 AM »
Since I vowed to take control back in my life last time there has been zero progress.

I make it 2-3 clean days and relapse again . last night I relapsed to using cam sites and again wasted money.

I really do need to realize that I do have control over my actions, moments and choices I make and start walking strong on reboot path forcing myself to walk the reboot path day in day out , soon before my life is completely torn apart by sexting P and Cam sites.

I used to take this recovery lightly having over confidence in myself that "eh, i'll get over it" but now I am fighting for the existence of sobriety in my life.

I will need to start using my power of making choices consistently to protect myself from relapsing and living my life free of PMO from here on.

until I don't do that my life will be hopeless and may get even worse.

please wish me good luck and success and I wish the same to ya all!

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #62 on: January 01, 2020, 10:06:33 PM »
i did pretty bad in 2019.

number of times i have relapsed.

2016 - 89 times
2017 - 92 times
2018 - 66 times
2019 - 85 times

money i lost because of sexting and porn habits

2016 - $0
2017 - $0
2018 - $175
2019 - $500


best streak in 2016 - 16 days.
best streak in 2017 - 13 days.
best streak in 2018 - 18 days.
best streak in 2019 - 17 days.

clearly I am loosing this battle and I need to bounce back in 2020.
I will be changing these numbers in 2020 to 0 relapses and $0 spend on P and S and a best streak of 365 days. that is a promise I am making to myself today.
it sounds like a joke to me when I say this but I clearly am under confident at this time. but I am willing to go long distance this year and break the shackles one day at a time.

completed a clean day today on 01.01.2020 and hope to be this way up to 12.31.2020

Wish you all success and I pray that you all do better than me in this recovery and no one relapses ever again .
« Last Edit: January 01, 2020, 10:17:34 PM by man_in_30s_rebootingnow »

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #63 on: January 11, 2020, 07:51:11 AM »
11th day and still going strong this year in 2020. I usually relapse between 11-20 days and that has been my best streak over last 4 years or so. But I want to break that barrier this time around and move into 20-30 days and see how it feels myself.
I had my withdrawal symptoms already surprisingly in the form of dreams in which I am about to succumb to sexting . But when I woke up it was a dream and I was so happy that it wasn't real , but it was just a dream. Hanging on there for now.
Good luck to you all. Lets make 2020 the year of successful reboots. Thanks for reading and Keep moving ahead one day at a time!, coz the day in hand will never come back again :(, lets make the most of it.

ShadeTrenicin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 386
    • View Profile
    • My topic
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #64 on: January 11, 2020, 08:16:49 AM »
Great job man, and keep strong during the hardest days. I am rooting for you
--------
Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=17919.0

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #65 on: January 12, 2020, 06:27:22 PM »
@ShadeTrenicn, Thanks for your kind words . I broke my streak yesterday :( felt so bad that I couldn't hold myself on 12th day.
it was my first relapse in 2020 . I hope it doesn't happen again.

I started over today on 12th january. Promising myself to make it longer this time.

Good Luck to all.

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #66 on: February 16, 2020, 03:42:42 PM »
2020 has been no different from previous years .

I lasted 12 days clean this year that is the longest so far.

I am tending to relapse on weekends only offlate .
Saturday early morning and night is when I am getting ample lonely time with internet facing gadgets and relapse is happening from last 3 weeks over weekend.

But still i haven't taken precaution to avoid the Saturday night slip up.
Probably i should go back to sleep on Saturday as if it was a weekday with family and not lay around awake in living room after everyone is gone to sleep.

and for saturday and sunday mornings I think I need a good distraction for that I probably should do running or get outdoors or just wake up late with everyone else on Saturday/Sunday mornings so I don't relapse. I can't face loneliness with internet facing gadgets anymore confidently and stay sober. That is my dire state now.

my numbers tell the same story.

i did pretty bad in 2019.

number of times i have relapsed.

2016 - 89 times
2017 - 92 times
2018 - 66 times
2019 - 85 times
2020 - 8 times

money i lost because of sexting and porn habits

2016 - $0
2017 - $0
2018 - $175
2019 - $500
2020 - $0

best streak in 2016 - 16 days.
best streak in 2017 - 13 days.
best streak in 2018 - 18 days.
best streak in 2019 - 17 days.
best streak in 2020 - 12 days so far in january.

I want to recovery myself in 2020 from sext and porn i want to be free from these habits and lead a sober online life.
I will do what it takes to earn that from tomorrow morning.

Good luck to all.

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #67 on: February 26, 2020, 04:29:20 PM »
I relapsed 5 times already in shortest month of this year february.

The most I could go far was 5 days this month barely without sexting and P.

Each time as I engage my consciousness tells me that this is self destruction and each time I ignored it and succumb to sexting and P.

I need to take brave steps next time by listening to my consciousness that is helping me by warning me in my mind and exhibit positivism and engage in something positive to avoid costly relapses.
I will do that next time untill i run 90 days without Sext and P.
its not going to be easy but I am willing to push forward this time as much as I can

Good luck to all.



man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #68 on: March 28, 2020, 02:56:23 AM »
Things are not going so well. I have relapsed 6 times in March and lack some positivism at this point.

I hope to turn things around in april.

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 61
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #69 on: March 29, 2020, 07:31:32 AM »
It is so difficult to resist the temptation. all sober for 3-4 days and then that moment of vulnerable thoughts. it just feels or perhaps I am thinking incorrectly that I have no control and I need to submit myself and then I GO, succumb, spend hours and then end up dejected and depressed , no idea how to gain control, how to not loose myself from the sobriety path. That itching and craving inside my head , it constantly tells me to succumb every so often and gets stronger each time i Deny and comes back hard at me . feels like its a battle no one can win. But yet I wonder how those reboot heroes are doing it re-wiring their brains, rewiring their lives on paths of sobriety.
Take a bow. All Reboot heroes who are leading sober lives. I wish I can be one of you soon.

I feel my biggest problem is in my thinking that I have no control and to give all the power to my enemy by doing so.

From this moment I will start thinking that
"I have all the control to respond carefully to situations , signals, cues and take cautious , brave and sensible steps to march into path of sobriety and remain on that path as long as I wish for"
and that's probably how reboot heroes think. even if they are not 100% successful they must be 95% successful, and that's plenty of a dream for me at this time in my life.

I will report on my progress as I intentionally train myself to think "I have the control over my moments" approach and then I will be back sometime April to let everyone know how it went.

Until then good luck and my prayers are with all of you.
Stay safe and healthy.

Shahinoor1rahman

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 4
    • View Profile
Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #70 on: April 10, 2020, 04:31:25 AM »
Hey guys, I'm 31 years old and today I'm starting my reboot day 1 guys