Author Topic: 3 Weeks In  (Read 8796 times)

masterdebater

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3 Weeks In
« on: June 22, 2014, 08:47:08 PM »
About 3 weeks ago, I decided to stop watching porn. For the past year and a half, I had watched porn about 3x a week. Just yesterday, I broke down and masturbated without any artificial stimulation, which is an improvement. Now that I have it out of my system, maybe it will become easier to control my need. Motivational and personal stories is always welcome. I decided to stop watching porn because it has ruined the intimacy with past partners.

Questions

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2014, 02:41:55 PM »
Good! Keep up the good work!!  ;D

Viper

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2014, 08:18:55 PM »
That's a good mission-
Do you have a current partner?
How have any of your partners reacted to this?

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2014, 08:43:07 PM »
That's a good mission-
Do you have a current partner?
How have any of your partners reacted to this?
I don't have a current partner. I'm trying to return to "normal" so when I have a new partner things go smoothly in the bedroom.

lte

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2014, 04:49:30 PM »
I don't have a current partner. I'm trying to return to "normal" so when I have a new partner things go smoothly in the bedroom.
That's a good way to look at it. This is a successful strategy.


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Remember, porn and masturbation are never the reward. Freedom from porn and masturbation is the reward

Viper

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2014, 05:08:29 PM »
That's a good mission-
Do you have a current partner?
How have any of your partners reacted to this?
I don't have a current partner. I'm trying to return to "normal" so when I have a new partner things go smoothly in the bedroom.

Very good strategy indeed.
I think that's a sign of maturity.
Much easier said than done no matter the age.
You came to the right place.

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2014, 08:16:30 PM »
Glad to know I'm headed in the right direction. Thanks guys. 

Viper

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2014, 11:03:13 PM »
Any updates?

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2014, 04:09:13 PM »
Any updates?

It's been exactly 2 weeks since my MO relapse and 5 weeks since I stopped using porn. I feel these 2 weeks have definitely been easier than the first 3 weeks. I've been diving into music and tennis to avoid giving into the occasional urge.

lte

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2014, 05:40:32 PM »
Any updates?

It's been exactly 2 weeks since my MO relapse and 5 weeks since I stopped using porn. I feel these 2 weeks have definitely been easier than the first 3 weeks. I've been diving into music and tennis to avoid giving into the occasional urge.
Keep with it. It truly does become easier with time. It's like riding a bicycle; difficult at first, but a cinch once you learn how to balance.


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Remember, porn and masturbation are never the reward. Freedom from porn and masturbation is the reward

Viper

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2014, 08:08:43 PM »
Any updates?

It's been exactly 2 weeks since my MO relapse and 5 weeks since I stopped using porn. I feel these 2 weeks have definitely been easier than the first 3 weeks. I've been diving into music and tennis to avoid giving into the occasional urge.

You're totally on the right track. Don't lose focus  8)

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2014, 05:18:05 PM »
Thought I'd give another update. It's been exactly 8 weeks since I've said goodbye to porn. And 5 weeks since my MO relapse. I've never felt stronger. Though, I worry about going back to college in a few weeks. This addiction started while away at college. I needed somewhat of a stress reliever. I never thought I'd get addicted. I know if I keep reminding myself of how far I've come then I won't relapse while at school.

lte

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2014, 08:43:43 PM »
Thought I'd give another update. It's been exactly 8 weeks since I've said goodbye to porn. And 5 weeks since my MO relapse. I've never felt stronger. Though, I worry about going back to college in a few weeks. This addiction started while away at college. I needed somewhat of a stress reliever. I never thought I'd get addicted. I know if I keep reminding myself of how far I've come then I won't relapse while at school.
Try to keep I mind that relapsing won't actually relieve stress.


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Remember, porn and masturbation are never the reward. Freedom from porn and masturbation is the reward

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2014, 08:53:34 PM »
Thought I'd give another update. It's been exactly 8 weeks since I've said goodbye to porn. And 5 weeks since my MO relapse. I've never felt stronger. Though, I worry about going back to college in a few weeks. This addiction started while away at college. I needed somewhat of a stress reliever. I never thought I'd get addicted. I know if I keep reminding myself of how far I've come then I won't relapse while at school.
Try to keep I mind that relapsing won't actually relieve stress.
That's some great advice. When I relapsed a month ago, I was upset with myself and I experienced so much anxiety. So you're spot on. Thanks.

lte

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2014, 10:26:27 PM »
Thought I'd give another update. It's been exactly 8 weeks since I've said goodbye to porn. And 5 weeks since my MO relapse. I've never felt stronger. Though, I worry about going back to college in a few weeks. This addiction started while away at college. I needed somewhat of a stress reliever. I never thought I'd get addicted. I know if I keep reminding myself of how far I've come then I won't relapse while at school.
Try to keep I mind that relapsing won't actually relieve stress.
That's some great advice. When I relapsed a month ago, I was upset with myself and I experienced so much anxiety. So you're spot on. Thanks.
At least for me, it comes down to realizing that porn and masturbation were not capable of filling the need inside me. Even at this point, nineteen months out, I remind myself of this frequently.

The similarities between this process and the recovery process for an alcoholic are strikingly similar. Ultimately, an alcoholic hopes to find the solution to their problems at the bottom of a bottle while a porn addict hopes to find the solution to their problems through self pleasuring and uses porn as a stimulant. Eliminate either of these types of behavior and the problems boils off into thin air.

Alcoholics are known to recover fairly easily once they realize that alcohol can't help in their search for happiness. I have known people that quit drinking because they simply last interest in it. Somewhere in their consciousness they simply stopped seeing alcohol as a solution.

That may sound far fetched compared to the language usually associated with recovery programs for alcoholics, but it's not far fetched. It actually happens more often than not; think of all the people that realize this early in the game and never develop an alcohol problem. Dick Van Dyke was a heavy drinker and his alcohol use abated of its own. It was as of he lost interest in it. I had an uncle that was much the same.

I think that is a very viable way to look at porn recovery too. One has to convince themselves that the answer to their anxiety and discomfort is not to be found in porn. In the final analysis, it really is that simple. Even as I write this, I'm feeling a bit randy and wishing that I had a sexual outlet. I'm not going to "take matters into my own hands", so to speak, because it won't do any good. I'd feel good for a few seconds, then feel lousy for a very long time.


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Remember, porn and masturbation are never the reward. Freedom from porn and masturbation is the reward

Bibbity

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2014, 03:53:30 PM »
Might be time to come up with a strategy for dealing with stress before stress comes.  Post it on your computer for when you get the urge.  Like lte said it doesn't relieve stress, it's just your mind tricking you. 
In order to rise from its own ashes, a Phoenix first must burn.”
― Octavia E. Butler

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2014, 08:12:04 PM »
Might be time to come up with a strategy for dealing with stress before stress comes.
I find my best stress reliever to be physical activity. However, when I've already worked out that day and the urge hits it's hard to work out again. Does anyone have any stress relievers or strategy they find helpful?

lte

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #17 on: July 29, 2014, 11:05:22 PM »
Might be time to come up with a strategy for dealing with stress before stress comes.
I find my best stress reliever to be physical activity. However, when I've already worked out that day and the urge hits it's hard to work out again. Does anyone have any stress relievers or strategy they find helpful?
Strenuous exercise is my favorite too. Simple meditation, basically just concentrate on controlling your breathing, that helps. Yoga can be good. Once again. You don't have to become a 10 ten this Yogi, just some simple stuff.


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Remember, porn and masturbation are never the reward. Freedom from porn and masturbation is the reward

SO Reboot Partner

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2014, 07:37:42 AM »
Might be time to come up with a strategy for dealing with stress before stress comes.
I find my best stress reliever to be physical activity. However, when I've already worked out that day and the urge hits it's hard to work out again. Does anyone have any stress relievers or strategy they find helpful?
Strenuous exercise is my favorite too. Simple meditation, basically just concentrate on controlling your breathing, that helps. Yoga can be good. Once again. You don't have to become a 10 ten this Yogi, just some simple stuff.

Meditation is wonderful stuff. Quieting the mind is a lot harder than it sounds. All kinds of things will pop up. I found out I was pregnant with my second child while meditating. This seemingly random thought punched through "You aren't alone". The test I took that day said I was not pregnant, the one I took three days later said I was. Surprise!

lte

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #19 on: July 30, 2014, 08:04:51 AM »

Meditation is wonderful stuff. Quieting the mind is a lot harder than it sounds. All kinds of things will pop up. I found out I was pregnant with my second child while meditating. This seemingly random thought punched through "You aren't alone". The test I took that day said I was not pregnant, the one I took three days later said I was. Surprise!
That's amazing, but not surprising at the same time. I've heard of more than one woman that knew, instinctively, that they were pregnant, well before it was confirmable by conventional methods.


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Remember, porn and masturbation are never the reward. Freedom from porn and masturbation is the reward

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #20 on: July 31, 2014, 06:48:56 AM »
Another great stress reliever is doodling. This was very popular a few years ago, but I have always enjoyed it. There are techniques, but the premise is very simple - let yourself go, get lost in the lines and repeating patterns. It doesn't have to be something you show to others.

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2014, 02:39:11 PM »
Such great advice to pick from and try. Thanks!

Viper

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #22 on: August 05, 2014, 08:53:39 PM »
college definitely has a lot of pepped up sexual energy.
But you would've already been more than 2 months deep in the reboot so
I think you'll be ok.
Good news is, there is plenty to be focused on when school starts.

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #23 on: August 20, 2014, 09:09:29 PM »
 
college definitely has a lot of pepped up sexual energy.
But you would've already been more than 2 months deep in the reboot so
I think you'll be ok.
Good news is, there is plenty to be focused on when school starts.

True. True. Thanks.  :)

masterdebater

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Re: 3 Weeks In
« Reply #24 on: September 01, 2014, 07:00:48 AM »
I've been at school for a whole week and I haven't been tempted to turn to porn once.

Also, saw this today: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mpCIxBXLE7A
What a load of bull. Porn never got me anywhere good. I'm sure it was just a coincidence that I did well in school and happened to watch porn. Now I have all of this free time thanks quitting. What do you guys think of the video?