Author Topic: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf  (Read 2743 times)

DonLorenzo

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Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« on: April 07, 2016, 07:02:58 AM »
So i would like to hear some opinions and experiences about how much better improvements you see when going hard mode vs having sex with orgasm like 2-4 times a week. I have been rebooting for 10 months and have relapsed maybe 10-20 times. Also I have never been long without orgasm, maybe 7 days tops. I have regular morning wood and can have sex with viagra, but libido is 0-5/10 and there are ups and downs.
I am never going to pmo or mo again but I am thinking about how beneficial it would be to go without orgasm for like 30 days?
And how much will it slow down my progress if I keep orgasming with girlfriend 1-4 times a week?

Please everyone, tell me your experiences!! I am sure many others are thinking about this too.

BoaRestrictor

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2016, 09:26:39 AM »
I thought I'd cut 'n' paste my latest journal entry, Don, to let you know where I am on the reboot by way of comparison. Over the last 22 weeks, I did go 8 weeks with no O between relationships and must say I was in flatline all that time and noticed no improvement compared to rewiring with a  girlf and a weekly O.

06/04: 22 weeks no P or M and only about 10-12 Os in context of rewiring. Update: same as before really, functional boner and desire on 1/2 viagra (25g) when with girlf once or twice a week, which is what counts, but physically/psychologically dependent on that last halfbluey if I'm honest.

Otherwise: low libido; improved but still intermittent penile atrophy; improved but still only sporadic  midnite and morning woods of 60-70%; inability/lack of interest in getting solo stiffy to touch or by fantasy, but guess that's a mixed blessing.

But I'm having lovelife with my girlf which is at the moment sustainable and am hoping to see continual improvement. I have seen some since starting this process, that I cannot deny, tho' it's piecemeal and plodding. Seasoned rebooters tell me it's still comparatively early days tho'.

Verily I  am relieved to be free of the degenerate practices of cybersexuality however,  and have noticed less 'craving'-type impulses to ogle women in the street or on the tv screen.

Unless there's some dramatic small step for man, giant leap for manhood, I'll see ya in week 23, Journal That's Mine!


Hope that gives you overview of another reboot, Don.I would advise you not to overdo the viagra as we may be setting ourselves up for dependence down the line.
'Lament for my cock/ Sore & crucified' - Jim Morrison

DonLorenzo

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2016, 09:47:02 AM »
Thanks for the reply Boa.
It seems that for some, the rewiring and having sex with orgasm helps, and for some, it keeps throwing them into flatline. I guess I could benefit from Hardmode but being in a relationship with a girl who has a normal sex drive, it is not that easy. Maybe I should just force myself to stop before orgasm, but as many of you know, it is not that easy too  ;D

Could it be possible that someone might never heal just because of orgasming with girlfriend?

Camouflage

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2016, 11:01:14 AM »
I have been wondering the exact same question! I have been rebooting for over a year, but I always have 2-5 orgasms per week via sex. I have seen improvement in my DE problem, but I don't consider myself cured. Perhaps I should try to do at least 30 days entirely without O? But like you said Don, it is not easy especially if you are in a relationship! My girl wants sex several times per week, and she won't take no for an answer. ;)

DonLorenzo

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2016, 11:22:54 AM »
If I would be 30 days without any sex, I am pretty sure I would come in 30 seconds. Camouflage, maybe try a week no sex (if possible) and then go two weeks without orgasm, and let us know what happens. I will try to go as long as possible without orgasm, and see if libido increases. I dont really have a DE problem anymore, so no need for me to avoid sex. (And maybe you dont need to neither, I am just speculating that if you gave your wiener a rest, then maybe it would up the sensitivity). When is the last time you masturbated?

screwedup40

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2016, 11:33:44 AM »
Thanks for the reply Boa.
It seems that for some, the rewiring and having sex with orgasm helps, and for some, it keeps throwing them into flatline. I guess I could benefit from Hardmode but being in a relationship with a girl who has a normal sex drive, it is not that easy. Maybe I should just force myself to stop before orgasm, but as many of you know, it is not that easy too  ;D

Could it be possible that someone might never heal just because of orgasming with girlfriend?

I imagine you would still heal.  Maybe not as fast, but who knows?  Over the last year I've abstained for months at a time and had other months where I had sex multiple times.  My erection quality would usually get progressively worse the months I would have sex.  So then I would abstain for another month or so.  And it seemed like no matter what I did I would still hit a flatline.  No rhyme or reason to it.  I wish I had a more definitive answer for you.  just seems like this process can take ALOT of time for some of us. 
Been rebooting since May 2015.  A handful of relapses in that time.  Have SLOWLY improved since then.  Finally starting to see some lasting success since summer of 2018.

BoaRestrictor

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2016, 12:29:55 PM »
Realistically, I'm not going  to  forego having any intimacy with my girlf. For one thing I love her. When I'm in bed with her I do want to touch her and there is some response in Boa's boa, just not a reliable one. I'm on a minimal amount of Viagra once or twice a week, it does boost the boa and give me confidence. It works better now I don't MO. I'm not gonna sacrifice my relationship or my girlf's ego totes on the altar of this ED. If not only resisting whacking off, but also not having any sex, is the only way to get cured - and if the boner's so fragile when it comes back that even having sex puts you back months - then it all kinda defeats the point.

It reminds me of my mum who was an insane clean freak when we were kids - she kept the upstairs toilet 'for show', sprayed the toilet duck down it and tried to forbid anyone taking a piss or poo in it! i don't want a fragile crystal cock for show lol

I went 8 weeks with nothing between relationships and it didn't accelerate my recovery that I can see. I'm going to continue mindfully making love with my girlf on a minimal amount of Viagra till, fingers crossed, I'm better.  Once I O, my willy tells me it needs a break anyhoo, regardless of the bluey. It can't really handle it more than once or twice a week  at moment, but it's better than where I was before -  no working stiff on 50g or more of the blue shit. When my libido and erections return more regularly 'at will' or by touch or fantasy, then tho' I won't fap, I will take it as sign my recovery's deepened and take a chance at lovemaking without 'chemical courage'.  But I'm not chasing Os anymore and one once a week or once a fortnight in context of rewiring won't negate all gains, surely?
'Lament for my cock/ Sore & crucified' - Jim Morrison

pearland71

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2016, 02:08:35 PM »
For me, rebooting and HAVING SEX with my GF was the solution. I am not 100% cured however I am 100000000000000000% better than 5-6 months ago, at that time I was in that horrible flat-line I commented about. I believe my PIED is 90% cured and I never suffered from DE. I can get erections and perform however the "stiffness" of my rod peaks at around 85-90%. Also my libido comes and goes like a fart in the wind.

In the beginning I had to mentally prepare for sex. That was like pushing a rope.....I didn't look forward to sex at all. The beginning was nothing but failures and excuses.....I believe having my GF during my reboot has gotten me this far. Keep in mind this is my personal experience and YRMV.

I'm still planning to post what other factors helped me, possibly next week. It won't be my goodbye post nor success story (yet...I'm close though) . I plan to stay active on this board and help as much as I can.

BoaRestrictor

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2016, 04:43:31 AM »
Pleased to hear it, Pearland, you've certainly been a rock to me on this site. Look forward to your overview post!
'Lament for my cock/ Sore & crucified' - Jim Morrison

Camouflage

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2016, 07:38:50 AM »
If I would be 30 days without any sex, I am pretty sure I would come in 30 seconds. Camouflage, maybe try a week no sex (if possible) and then go two weeks without orgasm, and let us know what happens. I will try to go as long as possible without orgasm, and see if libido increases. I dont really have a DE problem anymore, so no need for me to avoid sex. (And maybe you dont need to neither, I am just speculating that if you gave your wiener a rest, then maybe it would up the sensitivity). When is the last time you masturbated?

Thanks for the encouragement! It's been 52 days since the last time I masturbated. My retarded ejaculation problem still haunts me if I have sex more than once per day. But on the other hand, if I have a few days of rest in between, I usually (90%) have no trouble finishing. If I would go 30 days without O I would probably come in 30 seconds like you said! :D

So in that regard perhaps I am cured. But I am not happy with my performance, because I know that physically I am able to have many orgasms per day. In fact, when I used to fap to porn I would do it 3-4 times per day as a routine! No ED's ever, and orgasm guaranteed every time. I want THAT ability in my sexlife! But I am still far from it, because even twice per day is usually too much for me. It is so weird that we can fap so easily to P but we have a hard time with a real girl. I still don't quite undestand why it is so.

Just by a coincidence, I have been 7 days without an orgasm now because my gf had her period. But we are seeing each other tonight. I can report my findings after the weekend. :)

DonLorenzo

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2016, 12:26:50 PM »
I would imagine it is because when you jack off to porn, you can apply as much pressure and speed as you need, and porn floods your brain with dopamine like a drug, and trust me, if you have enough dopamine you can cum without a touch  ;D ;D so you are not healed yet 100%, there will be a day when you can cum easily with sex many times.

Camouflage

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2016, 03:32:40 AM »
I had sex with my gf after 7 days of no orgasms, and had no problems with either erection or ejaculation. This is pretty much what I expected. But I am looking forward to the day when I can cum with sex as easily as with porn. I am definitely not there yet. I didn't go for round 2 yesterday, because I sensed that it would have been a struggle.

About the original question; I wonder if I would get permanent improvement fom abstaining from orgasms a bit longer. Or perhaps limiting the number of orgasms to, say, once per week.

DonLorenzo

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Re: Hardmode vs orgasming with gf
« Reply #12 on: April 10, 2016, 05:35:28 AM »
Right now it seems that having sex with gf have been beneficial, and maybe I am coming out of flatline even if I have regular orgasms 1-4 times a week. This PIED thing is just so unique to all of us. No one is the same. But based on everyones  experiences, hardmode in the beginning is the way to go and then later rewiring with sex seems a good idea. But who knows the perfect recipe, right? Only thing certain is that porn is bad    >:(