Author Topic: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas) (Read 4448 times)

Arthur2 · « **Reply #301 on:** November 10, 2019, 07:10:05 PM »

Day3

Now i am waiting for the next tidalwave.

Do or die · « **Reply #302 on:** November 10, 2019, 09:30:56 PM »

Listen your inner voice. Your body wants to reboot. A full reboot is necessary for yourself.
And if you build a bad habit then you can also able to build a good habit also.
I know you can do it. Just trust yourself. You can do it.

Arthur2 · « **Reply #303 on:** November 11, 2019, 04:55:17 PM »

Arthur2 · « **Reply #304 on:** November 12, 2019, 06:29:39 PM »

Alright. Day5

Earlier in the day i felt cravings but i didnt edge whatsoever.
I feel pretty satisfied of that.
But i want that glance at images right now.

I know what i need to do : not think about it.

Tomorrow should be easy, since i will sleep in the morning until 2pn, and then i ll drive until evening.

Arthur2 · « **Reply #305 on:** November 12, 2019, 06:52:30 PM »

I am so tired of setbacks.
I really need to man up.
I know exactly what happens when i have cravings.
I know how to deal with them.
I know they happen and now i recognize them right away.
I just need to man up.

And above all, i know that inevitably them uges are coming, but even the slightest edging will make them more difficult to resist.

I really like how i became familiar with this little "background sound" so to speak of the constant craving.
My heart is kinda burning within my chest for porn. And that burning is incomfortable. It would cool off if i indulged.
Do you guys know what i mean ? The heart burning within you ? Probably like when you are in love with somebody. But i dont know. I dont think i ever really loved a girl. Because i have always been fapping. So how could i know real love ?
My heart burns tonight. And also my genitals burn. And the muscles of my butt and of my lower back. They want to move back and forth.
Everything want to indulge. But the burning of my heart is the most amazing of this. Kinda like if i was in love with porn. And when i think about an image that i love, my heart burns more.

I am curious to find out if i can fall in love with a real girl after recovery. Can i still love ? Can i discover, or rediscover love ?

This burning is like a sort of hunger that causes pain when unsatisfied.
And it so easy to satisfy it !
So easy. The most pleasant drug in the world is literally at hand.
Victory over this is like truly victory of the spirit over the flesh.
Or the victory of the man over the animal inside.

Even though i wouldnt take full credit for that victory if i managed to make it, but i would thank God and just say : i am so glad i got through it.
This i say : if i overcome this, it is a miracle and really a new life would open.

Lately i have been thinking about that again :

That basically, since puberty and me being able to be sexual, i have been fapping every day as a lifestyle. As something perfectly normal that i wasnt even thinking about doing.
I wasnt even interested in girls (and i was afraid of them) because it was so easy and convenient to fap instead of having the complications of a relationship.
I suppose this has also much hindered my social life in general. I have probably been a much more socially awkward person than i should have been.

No wonder it is so hard to quit.
I dont know, maybe 14 years of that.
It is unbelievable.
That would make me a whole new person.
I mean completly new.
An other life for free. A new world. A renewed adventure.
A new outlook on life.
My whole sexuality is fapping.
This is who i was. The old me.
I am a wanker ? Not anymore. Really.
Now i rely on God to help me. I dont want to appear arrogant and cocky and say : "i overcame that by my own power !"

To say the least, i am very enthusiastic about this journey.

Arthur2 · « **Reply #306 on:** November 12, 2019, 06:54:35 PM »

i wrote the above and it kinda sounds like i relapsed.
But no no no ! Dont worry guys, i am still strongly sailing on day 5.
I was just speaking in general.

Arthur2 · « **Reply #307 on:** November 14, 2019, 06:56:03 AM »

Late update day6

Arthur2 · « **Reply #308 on:** November 14, 2019, 05:03:23 PM »

Day 7

Do or die · « **Reply #309 on:** November 14, 2019, 10:21:32 PM »

Congratulations you completed one week

Arthur2 · « **Reply #310 on:** November 15, 2019, 03:34:19 PM »

Yes, thank you Dod.

Day 8 now.

Yesterday i had a craving but i just dropped my phone downstairs and i went to bed and i was good to go.

Arthur2 · « **Reply #311 on:** November 16, 2019, 07:59:32 PM »

Arthur2 · « **Reply #312 on:** November 17, 2019, 12:06:14 PM »

day 10

Arthur2 · « **Reply #313 on:** November 18, 2019, 03:46:17 PM »

Onze, onze, onze !
Onze onze onze onze onze onze onze onze onze, onze !
(Singing)

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaay : ELEVEN !

La la, la la ! La la la, la la. La, la la, la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la, la la. La, la, la la, la la la, la la.

Do or die · « **Reply #314 on:** November 19, 2019, 12:23:25 AM »

Congratulations

Arthur2 · « **Reply #315 on:** November 19, 2019, 12:03:11 PM »

Thank you Dod.

But today day 12 i feel exactly like i felt on my previous streaks at day 12 :

Extremely horny and very easily triggered.
So nothing has changed (why would it ?).

There is that threshold that has to be passed. The threshold of week 2.

I need to not think about it. That is when i think about it that i become triggered.

I feel very happy to be on day 12.

Do or die · « **Reply #316 on:** November 20, 2019, 07:21:56 AM »

I am also happy to see you on day 12 brother.
If that relapse is not happen then you not careful about it now. Everything in life teach us a lesson.
You did it.
To win anything is easy but be as winner all time is difficult.
You won your addiction. Now you decide, what you want?
To be winner all time or to lose again.
I know you choose winner. So celebrate your achievement and always be a inspiration for us.
Thank you.

Arthur2 · « **Reply #317 on:** November 25, 2019, 06:14:58 PM »

3

Relapsed and PMO 4 times in two days. 4 O's from wednesday morning to friday morning.
A pretty bad relapse because i spend a whole freakin night edging to P.
It seems like day 12 is a milestone that i cant get past.

(Of course i can but right now that is where i relapse all the time)

wecandoit · « **Reply #318 on:** November 25, 2019, 06:24:15 PM »

Quote from: Arthur2 on November 25, 2019, 06:14:58 PM

3

Relapsed and PMO 4 times in two days. 4 O's from wednesday morning to friday morning.
A pretty bad relapse because i spend a whole freakin night edging to P.
It seems like day 12 is a milestone that i cant get past.

(Of course i can but right now that is where i relapse all the time)

It's good you got consecutive days again. I know what you're talking about because I painfully got momentum again after binging a few days in a row, letting myself go and losing myself completely in the chaos. We need to take care of ourselves.

Do or die · « **Reply #319 on:** November 25, 2019, 09:16:39 PM »

Quote from: Arthur2 on November 25, 2019, 06:14:58 PM

3

Relapsed and PMO 4 times in two days. 4 O's from wednesday morning to friday morning.
A pretty bad relapse because i spend a whole freakin night edging to P.
It seems like day 12 is a milestone that i cant get past.

(Of course i can but right now that is where i relapse all the time)

Arthur I also relapsed yesterday. But I am looking it with positive attitude.
This addiction leaves us slowly.
I relapsed two times in last 19 days.
It's a good sign.
It shows how close I am from rebooting fully.
You also do it. Just start and be aware.