Author Topic: That's it, never again!  (Read 30980 times)

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #100 on: July 12, 2016, 06:46:02 AM »
Wow, this morning is hard to stay clean.

My fiancé is sick, and woke me up 4 times last night. I am so tired, and the amount of will power in me is very small. . .

That's why I am here. I am not going to watch P at all. I am not going to look at anything that will ultimately take me back to P. No P subs. No P. No nothing!

I want to do it, but I've only got about 20 minutes and I'm out the door right now. I can stand 20 minutes.

Just prayed, it helped!

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #101 on: July 12, 2016, 07:43:03 PM »
I've started working on face drawing practicing. It's going great. I see all kinds of different characters as I start drawing things out.

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #102 on: July 16, 2016, 06:32:21 AM »
Wow, I'm at day 60!

Two months, and everything is so amazing. This was my first goal, and that was to get to 60 days, and then update my counter for every 10 days.

While I'm not feeling very well right now, I'm still very happy about this accomplishment and this miracle. I knew this was my final 'reboot'. I will never go back to porn again.

I've come to realize addicts are not just 'one type of person'. Everybody assumes, 'a depressed person must have had a very bad past, and that is why they are an addict.'

I was never like that. I had a good childhood. Was it perfect? No, but who needs the perfect childhood. Anybody who says they never had a few disappointments in life during their childhood is lying.

Sometimes we choose P because it was exciting compared to other stuff, and then we became addicts. Sometimes we used it to hide a truly monsterous past where we were abused. Our past never defines our present or our future.

It's funny, over the past couple of weeks, as my brain has turned back to normal, the idea of taking my time with my Kurall Project, spreading it out over a year or two hasn't daunted me. My brain accepts some things take a great amount of time, and that those projects can be done one step at a time.

While I was addicted, I always wanted to find short cuts, now I don't care about the time, just the fun of the project!

IMNOBODY

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #103 on: July 16, 2016, 08:31:47 AM »
Good for you and stay strong. Your an inspiration to others.

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #104 on: July 26, 2016, 05:35:29 AM »
Day 70!

I had a bit of a craving, but writing in NoFap and here always helps me through it.

These cravings are not inevitabilities. I know it doesn't matter how tired, sick, or weak I feel, if I make up my mind, and 'flee' from the 'online entertainment', I will overcome. Nobody can stand before someone who takes a stand. They can fire all the 'arrows' they want at you, but your will is a force field that completely protects you.

There might be thorns in my side, but the beauty and grace of God/life/the universe is sufficient. When I compare the momentary pain and itch from that thorn to this world and the next, I laugh. I run and I jump over battlements. I slay giants with my sling! Nothing can stop us once we stand!
« Last Edit: July 26, 2016, 06:52:36 AM by Kurall_Creator »

RuntoSpirit

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #105 on: July 26, 2016, 06:16:11 PM »
Way to go Kurall Creator,

NO ONE CAN STAND BEFORE SOMEONE WHO TAKES A STAND  --- I love this!

YOu are so very close to your 80 days.   I can't wait to see your next goal.
Every joy in your recovery

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #106 on: July 29, 2016, 06:44:45 AM »
Had a bit of a craving, but now it's gone.
For the simple fact, I refused to give in.
Why break a 73 day streak and freedom?
Just for a smile and a vid of body parts.
It is never worth it.
Don't give in.
And you never know who your allies will be.

We can walk on water, and ascend into the stars through in our imagination,
so why can't we also fight and destroy Giants in the same imagination.

We all are much more powerful than we were ever taught. Men are not weak pigs. We took down Mammoths for the tribe. We feed our tribes and kept them warm. We risked everything, and almost always came back, when we fought as a tribe.

All you need to do is see the pit and avoid it. When you have a craving, when the thorn in your side starts to itch, find something else to do. Post on this message board, exercise, take a cold shower, do anything else, avoid the pit. Don't let the strange women and their smiles keep you in depression and guilt and dysfunction!

You can change!

RuntoSpirit

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #107 on: July 30, 2016, 10:32:55 AM »
THat's right, in the end PMO is just a pit -- a pit of depression and failure.   See that BEFORE we move into it.
REfuse to give in.  Deep at the heart of it, the addiction has no power except its ability to lie, that YOU NEED THIS.  NO matter how strong the urge is, giving in only makes it worse not better.
thanks Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #108 on: August 08, 2016, 05:39:17 AM »
Everything is going great right now. Hope everybody here is doing great too!

hopeful

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #109 on: August 08, 2016, 03:28:33 PM »
Yep, doing great so far. Feeling good about myself and am pretty positive. The urges  feed on negative thoughts and try to pull you down.
Congratulations on your progress !

RuntoSpirit

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #110 on: August 08, 2016, 06:17:56 PM »
Hey Kurall and Hopeful,
You two guys are an inspiration.  Go get em!

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #111 on: August 15, 2016, 05:56:17 AM »
Wow, 90 days.

Even last year, when I was trying to come clean, I though 90 days would be be an incomprehensible goal. I always look at other peoples trackers, see those numbers and honestly be jealous, but at the same time, inspired.

I don't have a goal anymore. I have a life, and other goals. I'll be posting things up once in a while. Guys, you can do this. Once you get past the 60 day mark, you will change. The healing really starts to take effect. The higher testosterone, the rewired reward system, and a more healed frontal lobe.

My cravings have died down, they last for seconds, not hours anymore, and I immediately dismiss them! It is possible to reclaim your sexuality and your life back!

johne5

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #112 on: August 15, 2016, 03:51:36 PM »
It's great to see your progress here and you're positive attitude as you continue on your journey to a porn free life.  I'm having some strong urges to look at some porn right now, but decided to come here first and reading your posts has helped reinforce my resolve not to look right now.  Thanks for your contributions here.

John

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #113 on: August 16, 2016, 06:34:52 AM »
It's great to see your progress here and you're positive attitude as you continue on your journey to a porn free life.  I'm having some strong urges to look at some porn right now, but decided to come here first and reading your posts has helped reinforce my resolve not to look right now.  Thanks for your contributions here.

John

The second month was the hardest for me. I came here and the NoFap Reddit very often to deal with cravings. It works, especially when you make a battle cry, never again. The cravings can beat me down, but I will not back down!

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #114 on: August 28, 2016, 10:25:26 AM »
Wow, 103 days now!

I am so amazed that I have made it this far.

But, I want to say, there is still cravings. I still feel the thorn in my side, but never again. I will feel the craving. I will feel the 'need'. I will feel it, and not condemn it. I am only human. Thank you God for your grace, for it is sufficient!

Keep strong guys.

TK-421

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #115 on: August 28, 2016, 10:37:02 AM »
Congrats on making 100 days. Keep going - you are an inspiration to others on here!
I never use porn or masturbate Now.  I am in charge of my life.

balanced

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #116 on: August 28, 2016, 02:32:14 PM »
Congratulations on 100+ days! Take advantage of the momentum and all the hard work and change you have accomplished, this is an opportunity to become the person you want to become...!

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #117 on: September 06, 2016, 10:48:31 PM »
Wow, over 110 days now!

Things are changing so much for me. I've never been happier, and more energized right now. Great sleep.

I've started a blog about my thoughts about things on minds.com
https://www.minds.com/TheWhiteDnPurpleH

It'd be cool for Gabe and others from the nation would come down and we can start a NoFap Community. I do post more than just on NoFap though, but definitely nothing 'triggering'. I have a lot on my mind lately about the Men's Riight Movement, and a lots of in consistencies between how men are treated compared to women.

L.T.D.

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #118 on: September 08, 2016, 01:06:02 AM »
Hey KC!

I'm so very proud of how far you've come. I haven't read all your posts but I get it. Your set back was not quite as bad as mine but you have given me inspiration and motivation. Thank you! Keep up the good fight! God bless!!

fyg

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #119 on: September 08, 2016, 04:42:55 AM »
Just to add to the congratulations! It's heartening to see! Cheers!

PS.
Quote
I have a lot on my mind lately about the Men's Riight Movement, and a lots of in consistencies between how men are treated compared to women.
- sounds really interesting, man! I have rumbling thoughts and feelings in this department, and have for years. Cheers again!
« Last Edit: September 08, 2016, 04:53:38 AM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #120 on: September 10, 2016, 10:01:29 AM »
With my fiancé gone, I'm all by myself this weekend. And of course, porn is really rearing its ugly face at me right now. I'm so tempted to do something, but I've decided to come here instead. I should take a cold shower soon.

I'm working on an animation today as well, but the craving is really driving me nuts.
I hate the cravings, but God's grace is sufficient.

balanced

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #121 on: September 11, 2016, 09:11:20 AM »
You can do this...God's grace, and your own strength that has gotten you to 117 days. Put this urge behind you, and then congratulate yourself for being so strong.

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #122 on: September 11, 2016, 01:36:14 PM »
Well that was my longest streak. I'm both happy, and a little sad, but I'll make sure it does happen again. I know I'm strong now. Just some times, your natural will power is going to cave. But if a righteous man falls seven times, or seventy times seven times, we can still get up and start again.


Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #123 on: September 11, 2016, 04:14:36 PM »
Celebrating a couple of hours of being clean!

Kurall_Creator

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Re: That's it, never again!
« Reply #124 on: September 11, 2016, 07:26:07 PM »
4 hours clean again.

One of the things I've come to realize from this relapse, I need everybody in my life. I know I may sound like being a 'victim' saying, if my fiancé was here I would have felt fine, and not watched porn, but I really do need her, and her hugs, and our intimate moments. I may need her to be a strength for me for the rest of my life.

That is what I learned. Our strength is finite, but it grows exponentially with someone else by our sides. The more people, the more we are lifted up!