Author Topic: I know I'm awesome, and I need time, help and action to become actualised  (Read 66751 times)

fyg

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Note to self: Don't switch from pretty damn warm to pretty damn cold with one flick of the shower switch (or turn of the knob) - too many jokes! edit: Took my friggin breath away and shouted the house down. Hey, a funny moment... doesn't have to be all doom and gloom, right  :P trust me, writing that felt good, as pre-shower I was pretty down :/
« Last Edit: April 14, 2016, 02:45:13 PM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

Boo

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But... tell me... how do we/I fall for it every time (the pull is so strong) - I mean, I looked at the science some time ago... but FUCKING HELL man... just, Porn... FUCK OFF out of my life!!!! I mean, I partly get it... ejaculation feels okay... but one forgets that it's a hollow-reward EVERY TIME!!!!! Perpetual amnesia!!!!!

Maybe 90 days total abstain in the next try???? Cold showers, meditation etc...

That's the problem . It feels okay and sometimes feels great. Just what we think we need, BUT, do we? You say the pull is so strong. This is really a matter of our minds being weak through habituation. You have to start diminishing the power of the pull by truly believing that you don't need what your mind is telling you you need. With all the CAPS and !!! you sound frustrated. I'm sure you are. As someone who has had many resets I can tell you it's frustrating indeed.

I used to think about the "power of the Pull" all the time. I don't think that way anymore. I know it's there. I don't feed it and give it power with my thought life. This thing we're all wanting to get rid of is going to require some very serious "taking every thought captive" as the Apostle Paul talks about. If we don't win the "thought battle" we will lose the "porn war".
« Last Edit: April 14, 2016, 06:11:53 PM by Boo »

fyg

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Hi Boo... I just went to post the following, and then RN told me I had a post waiting... this is my latest thought from this evening... I'll re-read your post dude...

I've been tested this week... I didn't expect to get so many urges to look at P and having my friend pass away probably has had me seeking refuge. I just saw in the glossary YMMV Your Mileage May Vary - as no two reboots are the same. And I am reminded about the importance of thinking things through. It seems to so easy to get emotionally swept up with PMO desire, maybe as the feelings can be so strong. But realising that my last reboot wasn't so difficult at the start last time, is interesting. As this is highlighting to me to be vigilant - sort of, that it's not a fixed process, and therefore, as it's not fixed, I can choose, or try to choose how to react to it. Okay, I'm really thinking this through as I type, but, basically, if a reboot can be different every time; then, every day can be different; and every hour may be different; and therefore we can consider each of those hours, and days as different opportunities for growth. To be tackled in different ways. And if every hour is different, then so is our capacity for change, as nothing is fixed.
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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That's the problem . It feels okay and sometimes feels great. Just what we think we need, BUT, do we? You say the pull is so strong. This is really a matter of our minds being weak through habituation. You have to start diminishing the power of the pull by truly believing that you don't need what your mind is telling you you need. With all the CAPS and !!! you sound frustrated. I'm sure you are. As someone who has had many resets I can tell you it's frustrating indeed.

I used to think about the "power of the Pull" all the time. I don't think that way anymore. I know it's there. I don't feed it and give it power with my thought life. This thing we're all wanting to get rid of is going to require some very serious "taking every thought captive" as the Apostle Paul talks about. If we don't win the "thought battle" we will lose the "porn war".


I like that... it really is power of habituation! Neural pathways that can be re-created in new directions. "You don't need what your mind is telling you" - Thanks man, I sort of know that, but at the same time, it's easy to know when somebody points it out. No, not just thanks man... but, Thank you for the support and experience of your knowledge. No man is an island, as they say. And accepting help can be a biggie for me ;) + Resets! Absolutely!!

Also... maybe my post about change and every hour being different is the similar to Apostle Paul saying "taking every thought captive"? I'm not religious, but it resonates!
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

Boo

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Yeah, I'm not religious either but the sacred texts can provide great insights when approached with an open mind, especially about the battles "within".

fyg

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Thumbs up
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

Branch

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fyg,

Just wanted to let you know I see a good bit of myself in your posts--the complexities, the challenges, the mixed feelings, the aspiration of and toward your higher self.  A complicated inner life might not make quitting porn tougher, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't make it easier.

I'm struggling, too, so I'm not the best source for advice, but I think it's important never to lose sight of who we can be.

Hang in there, fyg.

fyg

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Thank you, Branch
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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Today has seen some serious procrastination for me with my studies. I have essays to do - shit, I'm paranoid that people will work out who I am by saying I have essays to do. When I hesitate like that, and when I sometimes hold back with info... I feel real inauthentic. (edited post-script: though maybe, it's that I feel I have to tell everything, when in fact it's the bones of the struggle - whatever they may be - that are essential...)

Feeling inauthentic isn't cool, man. I over-analyse, for sure. But, also, I don't know how to be with people. What is good social protocol and what isn't. Either too polite, or not polite enough... There are various reasons for this - that I'm too tired to work through just now and mention. Friends often tell me I'm a great guy, and to a large extent, I think they're right!! Ha ha... fuck it... I am. But!! some of my actions come from a place of wanting to please. Also, from not wanting to take a risk, from fear of confrontation or from not wanting to hurt people... Shit man, that's a busy mind and a latent-self.

Anyways...

I've changed my targets... 1 year for no-PMO, as I've reached the 2 month a few times and 3 month on one or maybe two occasions, and feel a bigger target will help... being at 1.2% is somehow liberating?? and..

I've changed my no-MO to 90 days... That doesn't feel so liberating, as I've been wanking for 25+ years... No wonder the right arm is strong!!  ;D shiiiit - jokes older than God's dog. I also eat spinach. First getting past 3 or 4 days MO w/o P, and then past the 7ish day testosterone peak (experienced once recently)... This will be tough... I know it!!!!

This current and possible life-time over-thinker, over-and-out, for tonight.

Peace x
« Last Edit: April 18, 2016, 06:57:10 PM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

Philgood63

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Hey fyg,

Thanks a lot for the lines you wrote in my journal and that make me feel less alone ! Yeah sure there are similarities in our situations and probably life pathways, and that's always good to know we don't walk that road alone.

Most of all, I clearly relate to your experience of feeling inauthentic, that's probably something many people can't imagine, because being authentic seems to be obvious to them, how could you be something else than authentic ? It's only a few weeks since I can see the difference, after many monthes working with a therapist, now I can have a glimpse of what it's like to be authentic, just myself, nothing extraordinary, except it's just the real thing ! Man it's so good to feel this way, I really wish you to reach this some day !

Oh yeah and something else : the title of your journal is freaking cool ! Since first time I saw it, I thought "hey, I feel the same, I know I'm awesome but I f**king can't make it real, and that sucks. Sure I have have similar experience with this guy", and that's true !

10 days for me today, I hope we will do that road up to 90, man. Take care.
Neither lover nor wanker !

Boo

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Good update fyg. You'll get there bro. The tone of your post shows you're sort of keeping your sense of humor in the midst of the struggle. "People pleasing" can definitely create inner conflict. I've been consumed with that mindset at times. It can rob you of your authenticity as you say.

I soooo  understand about over thinking and paralysis by analysis. This has caused me much distress over the years. It's a matter of stepping out in faith toward worthwhile pursuits. Meditation helps with the over thinking (monkey mind).

Good for you in thinking about your PMO goals. We all need something to look forward to. Just keep the journey in perspective and don't beat yourself up if something goes a little sideways along the path. Progress is the key. You'll get there.

p.s. Your friends are right, you do sound like a great guy. Peace, Bro.

fyg

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Thanks so much guys. I really appreciate those posts - and the sharing. I'm studying right now, so will get back to that, for now.

I hope, and I'm sure, that's cool with you dudes :)
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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Hiya,

So, I'm around the 9 day point on NoPMO & NoMO. I've been noticing women more the last couple of days. Maybe it's the testosterone peak?! But, today is the first time I have reacted to a female since the start of this reboot; as I had some prolonged(ish) eye contact with a voluptuous woman when I was shopping for some things. I was then walking around for a good while with some 'wind in my sails', thinking about her and about sex, and maybe porn (I can't remember - should have typed earlier), but also the thought of going home to MO.

Later on today, I went back out to go to another local supermarket, and had one attractive woman (I'm trying to keep trigger language in-check) very obviously check me out as I was walking there... I won't lie, it felt really fucking good (both mentally and physically). Basically, to cut a long story short, when I was at the supermarket, I was quite aware of some of the women, and to one woman who I'm not usually attracted to the type, who I was particularly 'aware of'. It really felt frickin good... and, a bit frustrating! That actually sounds borderline wrong. But I hope you all know what I mean.

I forget who's journal I was reading last week (no disrespect meant), and they mentioned the ponolization of the media, which I wholeheartedly agree with. Tonight, just watching adverts on the TV was challenging.

My intention is to continue to go NoMO or Fap & NoPMO... I hope I make some good gains. One thing is encouraging, and that is that maybe if I feel this natural attraction to women, and keep porn free... maybe with some work (flirtation and relationships), I feel the future will be good. Today has been tough, as I was a bit hungover this morning (which as some of you guys may remember, is a trigger for me). But NoFap seems like it does produce benefits - how sustainable it is long term we will see. But, I am determined to try ;)

I have been doing a concentrating/motivational move, now-and-again, that a guy called Whirlwind Tobias does on his youtube videos (though he hasn't done that many, and they are from a yr or two ago now, I think) and he slaps his hands together in a prayer/namaste position and concentrates. This has worked for me a couple of times, and it feels powerful. Feeling powerful is something that I like the idea of, but, also, it makes me feel selfish, like the honing of one's body and self into something great. I guess there is some ego in there. I've started to slowly incorporate some yoga and meditation back into my life (practiced reasonably regularly in the past - fuck, I'm being a little too modest there, as I used to practice almost daily) which can only be a good thing, right! So thanks Boo, for your advice the other week day! on doing some meditation/mindfulness :) and also for your kind words the other day and this
Quote
Good for you in thinking about your PMO goals. We all need something to look forward to. Just keep the journey in perspective and don't beat yourself up if something goes a little sideways along the path. Progress is the key. You'll get there.
:)

and Philgood... That's too cool that you like the title of my journal, I'm super-glad it resonates... and re: the therapy... I am also doing some at the moment, and it's definitely helping! :) Thanks! Here's to being authentic!! Oh, seeing similarities is exactly what helps me also.

Quickly going back to today, I was wondering how much or if any of my appreciation of women was bound up with P. But, will see how that goes...

Cheers, fyg

PS. I'll start supplying some quotes from readings soon (it's my style, I think) - it's all about being authentic and embodied!! ;)
« Last Edit: April 23, 2016, 11:34:06 PM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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Quote
Have the knowledge and humility to get up after every fall
- an abstract quote from a Sri Prem Baba video on youtube.

For me this is great, as no humility = a sense that you're infallible... And I realise I have been approaching many things in life with this misguided belief. How stupid, as, evidence has been staring me in the face that I'm not, all along... but that's okay. I'm/We're not perfect  8)
« Last Edit: April 24, 2016, 07:41:36 AM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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I really think you'd do well to rethink the whole M&O practice, at least for a while. I think you have to get your mind off of the idea of self-pleasure...

Another quick one Boo... I think that really sunk-in, and made me think of trying for 90 days Nofap...  Just wanted to share that. And to acknowledge your words re: paralysis through over-thinking... That resonated like I don't know what, which is no doubt, why you wrote it! :D

Random... One thing I have (or have the memory of), is feeling that I don't acknowledge people's positive impact on me (in the form of appreciation) tempered against the feeling of going over-the-top and sucking-up to people. I've been accused of both in my time... the former by aggressive moods/actions, and the latter usually by direct verbal. My fear of 'sucking up' to people has kept me from people, I think. Shit! Think I've just thought that through, right here and now!

Anyway... Posted enough Nation. It's 05:50 here in UK. Time for sleep... A little insomnia tonight (unusual) - probably a compound of a few things. Ta ta for now.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2016, 07:42:39 AM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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07:00 = MO... I'm not gonna reset my counter just yet, as thinking it through...

Struggled to sleep last night, which may be many things. The loss of my friend, essay deadlines, horniness from testosterone peak, women seen over last couple of days, sugar consumed last night (trying to give up sugar) and poor eating in the day (no greens or veg), dehydrated from the days previous's hangover.

I was edging, very briefly (but most likely as I couldn't sleep/bout of one-night-insomnia, damn!) but knew it was risky. MO was to fantasy - but to a woman I know, and have held a libidinal torch for, for a few years now. I see her now-and-again, and it reminds. It's a similar recurring fantasy that comes to me, it's difficult to shake off, as it's fueled by new interaction with the person. But know I shouldn't go there, as it's been bound-up, somehow as one of the compounds that lead to relapse, in the past - it's complicated, right?! Again, referencing Boo - who advised the other day that MO'ing to fantasy was "dancing with the devil", and could lead to PMO, in this case, could very well be true (though didn't necessarily agree the other day) Must be vigilant! This time, as with my MO last testosterone peak, hardly needed any friction, whatsoever!

Also, edged, using the friction of bedding!! a couple of hours later, almost to O. The 'almost O', actually gave me a feeling of relaxedness/completion close to that of which O sometimes gives. Making me question the definition of an O!

Finally, also found that lying in bed when I'm not sleeping (usually in the morning after wake - but this was not being able to sleep last night/this morning) is a trigger too - as there is some struggle between me wanting to get out of bed, and not getting out of bed, which can lead to MO, certainly in the past. But, I felt it this early AM, maybe next time, get out of bed, sit in a chair with a relaxing hot drink and read a little????

Anyways, apologies for this detailed and possibly boring, bit angsty, analytical reading.

Cheers
« Last Edit: April 24, 2016, 07:46:33 AM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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MO'd again last night around midnight. Today, brain-fog. Whether it's directly linked, I don't know. But, the vitality that came with NoMO, around day 9, has gone, at least for now. I'd rather deal with this vitality - I read something to this in Leon's journal or one of his posts, re: being present, rather than escaping - and experience the emotions.

NoMO for me for the next 90. I say that with the humility, but without language that makes the commitment any less than 100%!

Cheers!
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

Leon

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MO'd again last night around midnight. Today, brain-fog. Whether it's directly linked, I don't know. But, the vitality that came with NoMO, around day 9, has gone, at least for now. I'd rather deal with this vitality - I read something to this in Leon's journal or one of his posts, re: being present, rather than escaping - and experience the emotions.

NoMO for me for the next 90. I say that with the humility, but without language that makes the commitment any less than 100%!

Cheers!

Hi, fyg. Wanted to link to your journal/journey- and read much so far.

Good choice in tackling the MO as well as PMO as in my experience, one has fed the other- in fact, I kind of view pornography as an extension or elaboration of the act of masturbation. Both (typically) involve fantasy, etc, but are both 'solo-sex', without that real emotional connection, and so jack us up when it comes to making it with a real woman (be that our wife, or a girl friend/lover).

Something deeper in us craves for emotional connection, maybe for intimacy on a deep plane- and we've sexualized these needs somewhere along the way, turned them into maladaptive behaviors which we use to soothe all ails. Identifying things as they are is half the battle.

Here for you, man, we can do this!

fyg

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Hi again Leon, and thanks for reading,

I won't write too much, as just posted in your journal, plus, it may take me a long time to negotiate and articulate the answer(s) to the many angles that are available to these topics ;) (this along with my ability to overthink answers!!) All in good time, somebody recommended to me lately.

Thank you for being here, man, I appreciate it. And yas! we can do this!
« Last Edit: April 25, 2016, 06:38:00 PM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

Boo

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Good choice in tackling the MO as well as PMO as in my experience, one has fed the other- in fact, I kind of view pornography as an extension or elaboration of the act of masturbation. Both (typically) involve fantasy, etc, but are both 'solo-sex', without that real emotional connection, and so jack us up when it comes to making it with a real woman (be that our wife, or a girl friend/lover).

Something deeper in us craves for emotional connection, maybe for intimacy on a deep plane- and we've sexualized these needs somewhere along the way, turned them into maladaptive behaviors which we use to soothe all ails. Identifying things as they are is half the battle.

Here for you, man, we can do this!

I couldn't agree more. It took a lot of soul searching and the wisdom of others to finally accept the reality of this. It takes a change in perception to to elevate us from our baser cravings.  Intimacy should not be a solo practice but something shared, with a physical connection being just a part of the sum total. A bonus of being a better master over my behaviors is a renewal of my self respect. I can look into my wife's beautiful brown eyes and not feel an inward shame.  We all need to have a "why" to see the path of "how".

fyg, I hope you find your "why" (which can be very personal ,to be sure) Leon is a good resource for the "how".

fyg

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I couldn't agree more. It took a lot of soul searching and the wisdom of others to finally accept the reality of this. It takes a change in perception to to elevate us from our baser cravings.  Intimacy should not be a solo practice but something shared, with a physical connection being just a part of the sum total. A bonus of being a better master over my behaviors is a renewal of my self respect. I can look into my wife's beautiful brown eyes and not feel an inward shame.  We all need to have a "why" to see the path of "how".

fyg, I hope you find your "why" (which can be very personal ,to be sure) Leon is a good resource for the "how".

Thanks Boo,

I hear you on the baser cravings, as the other day, I saw, I'll just say, an attractive woman in public, who held my gaze. This actually happened on two occasions. But re: this partic time, I definitely got a libidinal urge... though, as I thought about it, I wondered if this was simply a desire to O, without any emotional connection as you and Leon have mentioned. A while later I was thinking of going home to MO... and all of this simply felt too much simply like PMO.

That said, I don't think there is anything wrong with two consenting adults have sex, without massive emotional connection - I just don't know whether I'm geared that way*, and is probably part of what I'm trying to work out. This last year and a half has seen an increase in my experiences with women, vis-a-vis dating, sex and connection (to a certain degree). The connection part is something I really want, though I think what's upsetting is that western males are made to feel they must pursue women for sex, before friendship, and again, there is nothing wrong with consenting sex, imho... but I feel, both us and women lose out on connections that could be fruitful because of this expectancy which both sexes play into. Maybe the younger generation (Generation Y) have this sorted, at least from what they say, though, from my limited observation of their interactions, I'm not so sure!

Anyway... Don't want to ramble too much.

Your mention of your connection with your wife is heart-warming, Boo. Thanks for sharing, and appreciate your advice. As well as Leon's and others :)

Thanks so much for posting.

*will follow this post with an example didn't seem appropriate when I went to write it. Maybe another time :)
« Last Edit: April 26, 2016, 04:43:50 AM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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2(MO) from earlier today and no need to comment further...

Onwards... Reading a Nation-Bro's post has just helped as was feeling pretty low (no burdening drama intended, but true, nonetheless) ... ONWAAAAAAAAARDS!!!
« Last Edit: April 26, 2016, 10:41:08 AM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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1MO yesterday to fantasy, and to three different women I know. Interchangeable 'things' in pursuit of O, maybe. It's okay, other than I feel a bit sleazy when that is in writing. But nonetheless shows me it was all about O, and nothing else. Habitual too, especially as had mild hangover (trigger).

Been tested a bit today, with unintentional P subs. A woman I very much like posted a new profile picture on social media. It's v.alluring.

A little while ago I was congratulating myself on how it hadn't affected me. A while later, I feel it has triggered. Will go for a short walk just now, and meditate later this evening. 7pm right now in UK.

Peace, Nation.
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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I've been thinking these last few days. One thing is that words have power. But, how else can we communicate on forums without words? :D

I have quite a bit of knowledge about quite a few things, and in life, don't give myself enough credit for how awesome I am.

But, I looked back at my own journal (on here) and realised there were interactions I'd had with a few people, in the still short time have been here, and the information I'd forgotten about them, and my own insights that I'd forgotten. Something to think on, for me... But, I am thinking about people

Sometimes, less is more, they say. So, whilst I'm working out the best way to communicate on here, I send out good vibes to everyone who is looking for and DOING self-improvement and looking for a PMO life ;) - Respect, to everybody.

Today: Have been thinking about something Lyon03 mentioned in his journal (having read the beginning the other week) re: the amount of time he was able to concentrate on one task! Something that I struggle with, but will be looking at closely, I hope! Whether it is P related or not, who cares! I aim to take control of myself...

In the mean-time, I read a quote from Homer's The Odyssey regarding 'tying oneself to the mast' in relation to getting things done  and avoiding the Sirens... PORN! / Procrastination / Etc...  So, I'll be looking at ways to stay on-track with getting my work done (studies) - which also relates to the rest of my life, where I often fail to stay on-track ;) What's the point of going-through-the-motions? I'm asking myself - though, have been doing it, in some ways, for a while!!!!

An extract from Wikipedia which I like:
Quote
The term refers to the pact that Ulysses (Greek name "Ὀδυσσεύς", Odysseus) made with his men as they approached the Sirens. Ulysses wanted to hear the Sirens' song although he knew that doing so would render him incapable of rational thought. He put wax in his men's ears so that they could not hear, and had them tie him to the mast so that he could not jump into the sea. He ordered them not to change course under any circumstances, and to keep their swords upon him and to attack him if he should break free of his bonds.

Upon hearing the Sirens' song, Ulysses was driven temporarily insane and struggled with all of his might to break free so that he might join the Sirens, which would have meant his death.

I'm Interested in self control (edit:as we all surely must be), methods to help this control (external and internal) balanced against celebrating the human body (I don't really know how that would manifest right now!!) and not denying that we are alive on this planet!

Just now: Went to MO, and started to M, and then thought... Man, this will feel good for a few seconds. But this time I'm gonna stick to the plan... Which is to not MO. My desire for an intimate union, and I'm still working how that should manifest, shouldn't end up in a tissue.

Peace, Nation.

I'm off to buy some mineral water as it has helped in the past to help my mind become clear.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2016, 11:31:58 AM by fyg »
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex

fyg

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Ha ha... The irony is not lost on me when saying "less is more" and then posting a big post. :)
H.A.L.T - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired
Wherever water flows it creates ruts. Where is your mental water flowing?
PMO increases DeltaFosB in your brain, which in turn makes you crave the next PMO even more. DON'T DO IT! Your future self will thank you :)
PMO & excessive MO fux up your Prefrontal Cortex