is there even light at the end of the tunnel?

Anthony B

Member
Today marks 107 days since i last masturbated, and probably 5 months since I've looked at any kind of porn.

    ABout a month in, i experienced a MASSIVE panic attack that sent me to the E.R, because i felt like i couldn't breathe. Ever since that moment over 2.5 months ago I've been suffering from UNBELIEVEABLE amounts of anxiety, most of the time about NOTHING IN PARTICULAR. I had to quit my job, i can't work. Even leaving my house to run everyday errands leaves is extremely difficult.

    I;ve had this anxious feeling in my chest and horse 24/7, it never really goes away. Will it ever go away? I mean bats the point of doing this if it's so crippling i can't even live my life? Im feeling hopeless.

Any words of encouragement are appreciated.
 

Madaemosewa

Member
I suggest you get seen by a doctor if it's really bad. I suggest to keep rebooting however hard it is. You should not substitute medication and/or therapy for pornography in any circumstances, you've came so far- why relapse?
 

Anthony B

Member
I can't relapse. Like my brain won't let me. I have no desire to relapse. Im at the point in recovery where ever relapsing wouldn't make me feel any better, in fact it would make me feel about 10x worse. I can confidently say that I'm no longer consciously addicted to masturbation and porn- but that doesn't heal the damage to my brain and body.

 

Un1111

Active Member
I would suggest you see a therapist maybe that could  help you understand where your anxiety is coming from.
 

fugu

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Anthonyyyy said:
Today marks 107 days since i last masturbated, and probably 5 months since I've looked at any kind of porn.

    ABout a month in, i experienced a MASSIVE panic attack that sent me to the E.R, because i felt like i couldn't breathe. Ever since that moment over 2.5 months ago I've been suffering from UNBELIEVEABLE amounts of anxiety, most of the time about NOTHING IN PARTICULAR. I had to quit my job, i can't work. Even leaving my house to run everyday errands leaves is extremely difficult.

    I;ve had this anxious feeling in my chest and horse 24/7, it never really goes away. Will it ever go away? I mean bats the point of doing this if it's so crippling i can't even live my life? Im feeling hopeless.

Any words of encouragement are appreciated.

Oh man dude. Me and you sound identical. I really hope you read this because your 5 month story was exactly like my five month story. During the first 6 months I had nearly 10 panic attacks and tons of generalized anxiety. Anxiety about everything and nothing at the same time. It was crazy. I honestly didn't even know what a panic attack was, and went to the doctor because I thought I had asthma. I would classify myself a "worrier" for all my life, but I never experienced anxiety like that before, and I'm SURE it's not coincidence that it coincided with quitting porn.

I can totally and completely relate, man, The biggest thing you need to know is: anxiety due to pornography addiction and quitting pornography at this stage in your reboot is totally and completely normal.I wish someone would have told me that because I literally thought it was impossible to feeling anxiety nine months removed from quitting an addiction. Your anxiety has everything to do with your pornography addiction, and removing pornography from your life and staying clean will definitely greatly improve it, if not make this form of anxiety you are experiencing completely vanish.

I'm approximately 1 year and 9 months pornography free, and my crippling anxiety is completely gone. I haven't had a panic attack in nearly 9 months, and my general anxiety is at an all time low. Here's the big thing! I experienced anxiety and panic attacks for the first 12-13 months of my reboot, and that entire time was pornography free! Generally, my panic attacks and anxiety were in tide with the orgasms that I had with my girlfriend, so I began to abstain from even those orgasms. Long no orgasm streaks will be the best way to recover faster, friend.

The ways I coped with my anxiety during those first 13 months was lifting weights and running. The lifting weights was great, but long distance running was the thing that really helped deter anxiety. 60 minutes on a treadmill will almost always take the anxiety right out of your bones for that day. :) I also tried to be mindful of the anxiety - understanding where it came from, how it has only been present in this portion of my life (the post pornography portion) and how, realistically, this anxiety will pass and eventually disappear as the healing process continues.

Truly hope you read this! I completely understanding where you're coming from on this man. I had the exact same issues.
 
O

OSS

Guest
Hey Anthony. At EXACTLY the 30 day mark of abstinence in January I had 2-3 panic attacks over the span of a week, after that I had crippling anxiety for a month where I was anxious about everything and nothing also. Easily the harshest time of my life and then things began to get generally better. I still have anxiety because I've relapsed a few times since.

The BIGGEST thing you can do is exercise, exercise was incredibly helpful. Weightlifting and hill walks, anything that gets your heart pumping for 30+ minutes daily. Feeling too anxious to go for a mile run? Then go for a two mile run. It's that type of mentality that you need to help this process. Sometimes I would exercise to the point of feeling too drained to have anxiety.

If you need it, go to the doctor and ask for a benzodiazepene, such as ativan. This is only a short term problem solver but it will help rough weeks and road bumps. Do not take it for more than two weeks in a row.

You can try other natural relaxants such as L-theanine. Avoid drugs, especially stimulants like caffeine. Alcohol is not too big of a deal but don't get drunk, 1 beer is fine and will help you relax IF you need it but don't depend on it and don't drink too much. Drinking too much depletes GABA which is a drug that keeps you calm
 

Bibbity

Active Member
I would also like to add that the anxiety that seems to suddenly be surfacing was likely always there but was being managed by porn addiction.  Now that this management vice is gone those suppressed feelings are resurfacing.  Definitely try to pinpoint where this anxiety is coming from and resist the urge to manage it with other distractions or drugs.  Although exercising does help make sure you are not just distracting the feelings by exhausting yourself.  Really take a hard look at your feelings and where they are coming from.  A therapist can definitely help guide you in asking the right questions to root it out.
 

fuckporn

Member
After 14 days of no fap and no porn I got really deep depression phases for about 4 weeks. But I think it all ended today. I wrote it down here.

I think you should visit a doctor. Maybe he can give you medication or therapy. If you get medication, be sure that you get some that will not affect your libido like Bupropion.
 

Viper

Well-Known Member
You're going through the worst part of the recovery.
This is normal!

I can't stress that enough.
I may not have had to go to the ER but believe me when I say
that I was depressed and was not acting myself.
I had more of a destructive demeanor during that course
and it felt like it was ripping me apart.
This is a storm but it's not forever. It will pass.

Then the lifeguard will tell us that it's safe to go swimming again.  8)
 
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