Author Topic: Advice  (Read 939 times)

workingonit

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Advice
« on: July 10, 2017, 03:41:27 AM »
Hello All,

May I ask your advice? I wondered if anyone had experience of their partners being extremely argumentative but just constantly going over the same stuff. I seem to get stuck going round in circles not being able to let go of stuff, which means I cannot rest or sleep if I do not realise I am doing it.  Then I am able to break the cycle but not before it being too late and being in an argument about literally nothing.

Any ideas or do you need more info?

Thanks

aquarius25

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Re: Advice
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2017, 08:54:06 AM »
Yes that feeling can be frustrating. I have at times felt stuck in circles too. I would honestly say the best way to start forward progression for you and your partner is to work together. Start reading books together and discuss chapters that prompt constructive conversation. Counselling is great too if you can find a good counselor. That can be hard to find at times though, so be prepared for that. Get clear about your boundaries and communicate those to your partner. They should do the same, as it's a good practice for all people. Talking is good but talking in circles can ultimately set you back because, at least for myself, I found I would get frustrated and that is where my resentment would build.

One of the book that is highly recommended is Hold me tight. Gracie can tell you loads about it. I am about to start reading it myself. Lots of partners and PA's have said it's really great. I also worked through a 12 step style book made specifically for partners that I found very beneficial too. Don't forget to reach out on the partner's forum here too. This community really has been so helpful for me. Know you are not alone and there is hope.