wisecarevice
Member
I am 34 years old. Married to a beautiful woman that I can't have sex with and feel little love for. The truth is when we first started dating I treated her like a porn star. I used her for her body. Why? Well I'm addicted to porn. It wasn't some over night thing. My parents got me my first playboy when I was 12. When I was 13 we got internet (dial-up). Then later high speed. My taste in porn just kept getting more violent, and hardcore. I knew I had a problem so I tried to stop. Over and over and over. I would always go back to porn. I would rather fuck my hand then my wife. My ex used to walk around naked and I mostly ignored her. I can't go back in time but as I look towards the future I have hope. I haven't watched porn in several weeks (not really counting the days). I masterbated once because after 12 days my wife and I decided to have sex. She gave me a bj and I got rock hard. I stuck it inside of her and 2 thrust later I blew my load. It was a lot of cum but no pleasure and just embarrassment for me. I want to feel again. I want to feel love for my wife again. I don't want to hide my online activity from anyone. I want to be social and healthy. So I quit porn and stopped masterbaiting all together. I also decided to eat better and to cut back video gaming. I want to quit video games as the dopamine I get from them may be to much. I am so glad for this site. I will try to post regularly whether anyone reads my post or not. Its to help me heal.