Author Topic: Is this considered a relapse? If so how the hell am I supposed to do this??  (Read 2578 times)

Chewbacka

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Hey guys, I took the no-fap challenge 2 weeks ago and have been facing a problem. I didn't fap yet but it's very difficult for me to control my sexual thoughts from time to time.. today for example I was studying and suddenly I started thinking about me having rough(porn like) sex with a girl, I didn't even touch my penis but I was like 2 minutes thinking about sex and I had an erection, so afterwards I check my penis and there is pre-cum there(that transparent liquid)... And my libido is a bit lower...

So.. is that a relapse?? It seems like one because I got excitement over imaginary sexual porn-like activity and even managed to pre-cum and lower my libido.. So I got some dopamine from it and it wasn't real women exciting me, so it is a relapse I guess..

Now the question is: how the f***am I supposed to do this?? I must completely block any sexual thoughts during what, 3 months??

HOW?

Arcturus

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It's not a relapse. Thoughts can not be controlled in such a strict manner! There is no reason for it. Pre-cum is normal if you abstain from sexual activity. It's not a relapse.... It seems like you are taking this too far.

Ocarinustino

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Relapse means giving into urges,visiting some porn site or site with porn substitutes and masturbating to it.
So you are good,fantasies are normal.

Chewbacka

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But if I actually felt pleasure from sexual porn-like ideas in my head it's the same as watching porn... It activates the same neural paths! doesn't it?

William

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It is not a relapse, however, it is not moving in the right direction.  One of the things you really have to plan on, anticipate, is having sexual thoughts, and having, planning, in advance, on a method to distract yourself from the sexual thoughts.  The point is to avoid what happened with you, that is letting what could be a two second sexual thought grow into a thirty minute sex opera in your head.  What you are actually doing is using that thought, that fantasy, as artificial sexual stimulation to get a dopamine rush.  Getting the dopamine rush through any means other than actual sex is what we attempt to avoid during the reboot.  And remember, the reboot is a temporary time in your life to achieve a life time change.  Having a sexual thought cannot be completely avoided because having sexual thoughts is part of human nature, however, it can, with a bit of planning, be cut back quite a bit.  So, plan now on having a mental diversion when those thoughts happen.  Some guys wear a rubber band on their wrist, and when the thought comes to them, they snap it hard, just a bit of pain to distract.  It really does not take much to distract yourself.  You are, by this means, re-training your brain, consciously. 

Chewbacka

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Thanks William, sometimes I forget that this is not an all or nothing matter.. I probably made a good progress for being 2 weeks and only having 3 moments of fantasizing for a couple minutes in this entire time. I used to fap 1 or 2 times a day so it's a big progress already.

This is really hard but you are right, the benefits are huge and life changing, so it's worth it.


Gratz on the 900+ days, keep it up!

qwerty

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Yeah, this is going to happen to you alot. I think of it as one of the ways your brain will try to get you to (P)MO. I used to have overwhelming, unstopable, sexual and P-related memories, fantasies and thughts running through my head. Especially at night when trying to sleep. During an insomina period it gets really difficult.

I think you will, as I did, learn to roll with the punches. Try and think of it as waves moving through your head. If you don't entertain them or dwell upon them they'll pass right thru. Resistance is only making them stronger.

I found that a mediative, mindful, approach worked best for me. "Oh, here's another wave of sexual thoughts. Now let's get back to whatever I was doing".
Once I stopped fighting them, the wave went thru quickly.

Some guys wear a rubber band on their wrist, and when the thought comes to them, they snap it hard, just a bit of pain to distract.
The rubber band works really well, I've used it on other things (but not on this).

My raging sexual thougts came and went in waves for about 80 days, every time less P and more actual real-life sex.

Just roll with the punches, man  :)

Ocarinustino

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Thanks William, sometimes I forget that this is not an all or nothing matter.. I probably made a good progress for being 2 weeks and only having 3 moments of fantasizing for a couple minutes in this entire time. I used to fap 1 or 2 times a day so it's a big progress already.

This is really hard but you are right, the benefits are huge and life changing, so it's worth it.


Gratz on the 900+ days, keep it up!

Look if it comforts you,my neighbors have loud passionate sex every 2nd day during 11pm-1am and Im supposed to fight the urge of not listening them and falling into going PMO. Its like reboot on very hard difficulty. Keep the good fight.