Author Topic: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?  (Read 3630 times)

Hopes@live

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Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« on: January 24, 2016, 11:20:13 PM »
Hello All,

I have one question. While on rebooting is it okay to check out Women/Girl? What if I come across a beautiful or hot lady having an attire through which details of female body parts can be seen easily? Is it okay to checkout or will it beat the purpose of rebooting?

Also is it to okay to checkout females on purpose? Well, here is the thing, you can call me pervert for the time being, but since last week my tool down there is not responding. The only purpose to checkout the ladies here is to check the responsiveness of my tool.

Guys, need your advice. Otherwise my whole rebooting process will be pointless if I am doing things which i am not supposed to.

Any replies would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Chewbacka

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2016, 07:57:44 AM »
I'm new to this but I think that it's better to avoid it since it will put unnecessary sexual images/thoughts in your mind, making it more difficult for you to no-fap. I'd say that you should trust and have faith that this is working rather than testing it from time to time, since those tests could be what makes you fail in the end.

On a side note, from what I have read I don't think that looking at real women could have a bad impact on your brain since what you actually want is to get horny with real women rather than images. If you don't run a porn movie in your mind it should be ok I guess.

Anybody else knows more about this? I'm not sure of what I've just posted, it's all guessing.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2016, 08:00:06 AM by Chewbacka »

Brooklyn Jerry

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2016, 08:19:29 AM »
I agree with Chewbacca ,It would sure be hard not to check out a women you find desirable. As  long as you don't leer and most importantly don't go home and MO to her images you should be ok.

OFFLINE

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2016, 08:26:37 AM »
If you're doing it *just* to check out your tool, then stop.  Leave it alone.  It's part of the healing process.

If you're doing it because you like to check out women (as I do) then I say go for it. Did you check out woman before you became addicted?  I could be wrong.  Curious to see what others think.

qwerty

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2016, 10:38:18 AM »
Mighty good question, Hopes@live. Especially considering how hard it is to avoid attractive women/girls if you live in a populated area...

I don't think there will be a single simple answer to this.
One side of the coin is obivously triggering your brain and addiction and exposing yourself to urges. Some suggest complete celibacy of bothe body and mind.
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=14525.0

The other side is (as far as I understand about how our brains work) that you need not only to reboot but to actually rewire your brain. To replace, or retrain your brain, to seek satisfaction from real women/girls rather than P.
Much like Chewbacka wrote.
On a side note, from what I have read I don't think that looking at real women could have a bad impact on your brain since what you actually want is to get horny with real women rather than images. If you don't run a porn movie in your mind it should be ok I guess.
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rewire-your-brain-using-ocd-neuroscience

We're men, we're hardwired to be attracted to women. It'd probably be quite futile to fight that naural urge. I actually think the noA approach could make it worse (forbidden fruit and all that).
Then again, exposing yourself to unnecessary urges and still feeding your addiction through TV, Facebook, Magazines and so forth... well that's just stupid  :)

Again, there's probably not going to be a single simple answer.

My suggestion would be, be smart and get to know yourself. It's probably more a matter of what's going on inside your own brain and your personal reboot progression than a standard procedure to follow.

I take it from your counter that your about five days into your reboot.
Here's what happened to me:
  • First two weeks: massive interest in checking out girls.
  • Next roughly 10 weeks (during withdrawal). no intrest what so ever - both physical and mental flatline.
  • Last couple of weeks: rappidly declining PMO-urges and much increased interest in real-life women
During the first couple of weeks I was tempted to do things I'd normally wouldn't do just to get the chanse to check out girls, like going to the beach. I realized that to be PMO talking and resisted the urges. Today I make no effort to check them out, but if the opportunity presents itself I'd even try and chat her up.

To summarize:
Better safe than sorry. Go NoA as much as possible. But don't over do it. Not thinking about sex, P, girls is still thinking about sex, P, girls. (The Simpsons describe the path of NoFap really well, S4E16 - Duffless. "Don't think about beer, don't think about beer, don't think about beer"  :))

As a rule of thumb I'd say (based on my own experiense) pre-withdrawal looking = bad, that's PMO urges. post-withdrawal = good, that's rewiring - if it is rewiering and not feeding urges.

Somewhere, somehow, I think you, and everyone else know what's right for them depending on where they are in their journey. You've just gotta listen to your brain, or ignore it, depending on which phase your in on your journey  :)

Simply asking the question suggest to me that you know it's not right for you at this point. Am I right?  :)

So, a long, confusing reply, only to give an even more confusing answer (sorry about that, I really wanted to keep this short  :) ): Don't look at girls, but do not either make any effort not to look at them. Do you know what I mean? If she's in your line of sight, look, and then forget about seeing her.

AND ABSOLUTELY NO TESTING OF TOOL, EDGING OR OTHERWISE PUTING YOUR HANDS BELOW YOUR BELT AND ABOVE YOUR KNEES! EVER!

Always, during the first 90 days: BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

Hope this was atleast somewhat helpful.
/ QWERTY

Hopes@live

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2016, 11:11:38 PM »
Thank you all of you for reply.

Answer to questions asked to me.

1. Yes, before getting addicted too, I used to checkout women.

Now, some more details,

Last Monday my dick suddenly stopped even getting 5 % erection to my personal touch or to porn(Images) too.

Since then I got only 1 morning wood that too 40 %

Since last Monday I got 5 to time spontaneous erections of 30% to 50 % quality.

Besides that my tool is dead. No feelings down there no matter how you play with it.
 
Talking about withdrawal symptoms, I absolutely dont have even 1 % of interest in porn. And I am very firm on my decision to not to fap.

I am just wondering/afraid that is it venous leak? I have 1st appointment with urologist next week. I am really worried about this.

On side note, I am in long distance relationship and I have noticed that while just regular talking with her I felt some feelings or may be 5 % arousal in my tool. Its a regular talk, absolutely not sexting.

I did checkout women just to check out if there is any feeling at my tool. Even if I touch my took, I am firm on my decision not to MO. Even if my tool shows 10 % feelings to natural sexual thoughts I would be more than happy.

Thank you once again for all your replies.













 

Tomte

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2016, 01:32:45 AM »
Getting yourself checked out by a physician ist always a good idea, but I wouldn't worry too much about lack of erections. At least after your doctor tells you that there is no physiological problem, give it a rest. Don't test "your tool" all the time. I haven't had an erection for about one and a half months, and just this morning, out of the blue, I woke up rock hard.
No fantasizing, no intentionally checking out girls, no porn (obviously), and you'll get better. Especially if you get the chance to connect with a real girl.

qwerty

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2016, 10:57:19 AM »
Last Monday my dick suddenly stopped even getting 5 % erection to my personal touch or to porn(Images) too.

Welcome to the flatline
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-recovery-and-mysterious-flatline

Brace yourself for the real withdrawal
http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like

Make sure you read every success story and journal about Flatline and Withdrawal.
Knowing is half the battle.

DO NOT TEST YOUR TOOL!
This will lead to relapse and prolonged reboot.


JKLIVIN

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2016, 09:24:00 PM »
From what I've learned from my own reboot process, just a few weeks away from 1 year without viewing porn, has really changed my views on a lot of things. One of the biggest changes is how I view women. While I never thought about it much, and never wanted to, when I was viewing porn every day, I was seeing women as objects. This also carried into reality. I'd stare and view them as  they were there to fulfill my own fantasies. They weren't at the store to buy milk, they were there to be ogled by men, that's why they are wearing the clothes they are wearing. Right? They were never viewed as someone's daughter, sister, or mother. They were just an object. Unfortunately in today's society we are supposed to think that this is normal. The amount that women and sex  that are used in advertisements to sell a product has reached a new low. How are we not supposed to view women as objects when they are being treated as such just to sell a burger, or cologne.

So in terms of "checking out" women. How are you viewing them? Are you viewing them in a sexual manner. Are they "hot" and you just want to think about sexual fantasies with them? Do you just want to stare at them? If that is the case, then no, it is not ok to check them out.

Now on the other hand, if you are walking through a store and a beautiful woman catches your eye, you may still do a double take. It is possible to appreciate a woman's beauty without objectifying them and fantasizing about them. There is a fine line, and it's hard to stay on the right side of that line. The longer you get into the reboot process, and the more you learn about yourself, and the addiction altogether, the easier it is to be aware of this line.

At the early stages of a reboot process I would try to avoid "checking out" women at all costs. Now this doesn't mean you have to wear blinders. It's very hard to walk through a store and not see a beautiful woman. You just need to be mindful of your actions and of your thoughts.




Robman

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Re: Is it okay to checkout women while on reboot?
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2016, 09:53:35 AM »
Maybe for a while you want to take a break but then yes. Your rewiring your brain toward the real thing and that's what you want.