Hello,
A P addict of many years here. I'm rubbish at posting in forums so forgive me if this goes wrong. I want to connect with a few of you and, after a year of sobriety, want to share some stuff I've learned. I'm no sage, I still struggle and have a lot to learn. There's no way i can share all my tools and what I've learned in one post, so I'm going to try and write a bit every day. Perhaps I should have started an online journal or blog? shows how clueless I am. I'll try replying to my own post and see how it goes (if anyone has any advice on that, let me know!)
otherwise, let's get to the important stuff!
2 years ago I said, 'I'm sick of this, I have to stop.' I searched around and found some tools, did a lot of reading, fell down and got up and fell down again many times. I mostly followed the Tony Litster method (more on that in a moment), and a big difference in his method for sobriety is that he doesn't insist you count the days of sobriety. You listen to his audio, and he asks, 'how did you do last week? well, never mind about that now, just let it go.' because it's all about where you are now. I don't want to say that's definitely the way to go, because I know many people live by the ticking off the days method, but it worked for me. You don't beat yourself up over the previous week, you don't go through the guilt and the shame, you just feel calm and determined to do well today. I had good weeks and bad weeks. I had a lot of bad weeks. Then the good weeks started to outnumber the bad weeks. I haven't been looking back, but then I did, and I see, wow, it's been a year of sobriety. a year of sobriety doesn't mean much, because there are hard days ahead and all that matters is how strong I am in that moment. who cares if I fall off the wagon again, but I can say, 'well, I did have that good year.' I just thought it would be a good title for my topic
my first important tool is a diary. Actually I found a great online resource by 'Fierce gentlemen, quit P in 30 days', but I can't see it online anymore. it was very simple - a word document that said consisted of:
day 1
My Commitment To Myself Today:
If or When Cravings Arise Today, I Will:
Thought Log:
day 2
My Commitment To Myself Today:
If or When Cravings Arise Today, I Will:
Thought Log:
...and so on.
Pretty simple stuff. I made a document for every month, wrote down my hopes, learnings, regrets, triggers and so on. I wrote about the previous day, how i'm feeling now, and my intention for the day ahead, and I do it first thing in the morning. Some would say use a notebook and not your computer for this, which makes sense, but I was too scared of it being found and read, so I did it all on my computer.
The other thing was following the tony litster programme. google 'cure the craving tony litster' to find it. You can also paste that into youtube to hear him doing some talks on what the programme is about. it's free, Tony suffered addiction himself and now simply wants to help others. On his website, go to 'programmes' and you can sign up for the 9 month audio programme, and you can an email with an audio file a couple of times a week for nine months. he gives you ideas to work on slowly, bit by bit, so not to overwhelm you. because it's a marathon, not a sprint. So as I worked on all these assignments and ideas, all that I was doing and my thoughts went into the journal.
One thing I'll say that was confusing is that he calls his audios 'Calls'. Because you can dial in on your phone to hear the audio. I live in a different time zone and so it made no sense to me. If I didn't 'call' would i not be participating. Other than a couple of question and answer sessions, there is simply an mp3 download in every email where he gives you advice, a pep talk and new NP tools to 'cure the craving'.
Hope this helps and gives some of you hope. A long time ago, I was looking at this forum feeling hopeless, looking for information and help, and I found it. And I'm on the other side, fitter, happier, married. Speak to you soon.
Rainman
A P addict of many years here. I'm rubbish at posting in forums so forgive me if this goes wrong. I want to connect with a few of you and, after a year of sobriety, want to share some stuff I've learned. I'm no sage, I still struggle and have a lot to learn. There's no way i can share all my tools and what I've learned in one post, so I'm going to try and write a bit every day. Perhaps I should have started an online journal or blog? shows how clueless I am. I'll try replying to my own post and see how it goes (if anyone has any advice on that, let me know!)
otherwise, let's get to the important stuff!
2 years ago I said, 'I'm sick of this, I have to stop.' I searched around and found some tools, did a lot of reading, fell down and got up and fell down again many times. I mostly followed the Tony Litster method (more on that in a moment), and a big difference in his method for sobriety is that he doesn't insist you count the days of sobriety. You listen to his audio, and he asks, 'how did you do last week? well, never mind about that now, just let it go.' because it's all about where you are now. I don't want to say that's definitely the way to go, because I know many people live by the ticking off the days method, but it worked for me. You don't beat yourself up over the previous week, you don't go through the guilt and the shame, you just feel calm and determined to do well today. I had good weeks and bad weeks. I had a lot of bad weeks. Then the good weeks started to outnumber the bad weeks. I haven't been looking back, but then I did, and I see, wow, it's been a year of sobriety. a year of sobriety doesn't mean much, because there are hard days ahead and all that matters is how strong I am in that moment. who cares if I fall off the wagon again, but I can say, 'well, I did have that good year.' I just thought it would be a good title for my topic
my first important tool is a diary. Actually I found a great online resource by 'Fierce gentlemen, quit P in 30 days', but I can't see it online anymore. it was very simple - a word document that said consisted of:
day 1
My Commitment To Myself Today:
If or When Cravings Arise Today, I Will:
Thought Log:
day 2
My Commitment To Myself Today:
If or When Cravings Arise Today, I Will:
Thought Log:
...and so on.
Pretty simple stuff. I made a document for every month, wrote down my hopes, learnings, regrets, triggers and so on. I wrote about the previous day, how i'm feeling now, and my intention for the day ahead, and I do it first thing in the morning. Some would say use a notebook and not your computer for this, which makes sense, but I was too scared of it being found and read, so I did it all on my computer.
The other thing was following the tony litster programme. google 'cure the craving tony litster' to find it. You can also paste that into youtube to hear him doing some talks on what the programme is about. it's free, Tony suffered addiction himself and now simply wants to help others. On his website, go to 'programmes' and you can sign up for the 9 month audio programme, and you can an email with an audio file a couple of times a week for nine months. he gives you ideas to work on slowly, bit by bit, so not to overwhelm you. because it's a marathon, not a sprint. So as I worked on all these assignments and ideas, all that I was doing and my thoughts went into the journal.
One thing I'll say that was confusing is that he calls his audios 'Calls'. Because you can dial in on your phone to hear the audio. I live in a different time zone and so it made no sense to me. If I didn't 'call' would i not be participating. Other than a couple of question and answer sessions, there is simply an mp3 download in every email where he gives you advice, a pep talk and new NP tools to 'cure the craving'.
Hope this helps and gives some of you hope. A long time ago, I was looking at this forum feeling hopeless, looking for information and help, and I found it. And I'm on the other side, fitter, happier, married. Speak to you soon.
Rainman