Author Topic: Masturbating daily since I was 5 years old!! time to give CPR to my penis!  (Read 3302 times)

Chewbacka

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Hi, if you want to know some background info about me you can go here: http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=7795.0

If you are not willing to check that out here is a very brief intro:
I'm 24 and I've never had sex because I don't seem to get aroused by real girls. I've been masturbating daily since I was 5 years old, even masturbating just for the sake of it without actually wanting to masturbate, sometimes I even ejaculate with no pleasure...

I have done damage to my brain apparently, specially since I started this addiction so early on (and so many years ago) when my brain was still developing.. I hope that I still can repair it with a proper no-fap challenge, I think that I still have a chance of having a sexual life and not being virgin and lonely for the rest of my life, specially since the past year for different circumstances I was 10 days with no fap and on the last days I was getting boners just looking at girls, even ugly or older girls... So yeah there is hope of recovery!


So that's it, I'm starting my no-fap challenge here, I won't set a special ammount of days, just as many as possible and I won't ejaculate by myself: the only possible release will be having sex with a real girl. I also will not watch any porn, although that has not been a problem for me, I barely watch porn anyways (see the introductory thread for more details).

This challenge is a matter of life or death for me, I don't want an asexual life, I'd rather die, so I have some motivation there.

I already did day 1 since I haven't fapped since yesterday morning so... here goes the report from day 1:


DAY 1: Woke up with a boner in the morning and fantasizing about women, I thouched myself for 1 minute and then managed to stop it, didn't ejaculate anything. At midday when I was coming back from the gym I stared at a girls ass and got a very light boner after letting my imagination go wild.. but see, that's the problem for me: I can get aroused in my imagination but in real life it just doesn't happen, maybe if I was actually slapping that ass my dick would be dead, but as I imagined it I got a semi-boner.. So this mini-boner doesn't tell me anything yet, let's say everything is normal right now.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2016, 11:28:15 AM by Chewbacka »

Diesel driver

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Wow, you might be the person to begin masturbating at the youngest age I know of! Really interested how you will do.

You seem to be on the right track and if a girl's ass can give you a light boner. I believe you can recover.

Cheers!

Chewbacka

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Wow, you might be the person to begin masturbating at the youngest age I know of! Really interested how you will do.

You seem to be on the right track and if a girl's ass can give you a light boner. I believe you can recover.

Cheers!

Thanks for the encouragement! And yeah I probably am a Guiness record or something like that.. with my brother(he taught me masturbation when I was 5) we joke around and say that I probably have the most ammount of faps for a 24 years old man haha.

On the other hand, about that "girl's ass boner".. it's a bit tricky because I got the boner from my imagination more than from real life because I instantly started to fantasize different things I could do to that ass... you know what I mean? What I mean is that probably if I actually slapped her ass I'd feel nothing... (happened to me before, when I was making out with a girl and grabbing her ass I wasn't getting too aroused, barely had a boner even tho I sucked her tits too).
Anyway I am optimistic and am sure I can overcome this, my libido will skyrocket with this no-fap challenge and I won't have an option but get excited from real life girls.

Chewbacka

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DAY 2: Doing good for now, no urges, nothing out of the ordinary, just the morning wood and thoughts about sex (which is pretty normal for me in the mornings).
On a side note I will have to stay away from laying in my bed because that's a trigger for me, when I am laying on the bed with nothing to do I masturbate, that's why every morning will be a decisive battle for me... today wasn't the exception but it was not too hard to control it, my penis is still manageable.

Chewbacka

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DAY 3:

Doing good, just trying to change topics whenever I find myself thinking about sex, after all the idea is to debilitate the "aroused only by fantasies" neural pathways. Also the less time I spend fantasizing the less chances that I masturbate, I suppose.

A bit worried about the next days since I will be preparing my exams for the next 30 days, and one of my biggest masturbation triggers is studying... specially when I need to study boring subjects like the ones I will be studying. I will consider going to the library to study instead of my room if things get hard, you know what I mean...

Chewbacka

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DAY 4:

All was fine until I started studying, as I suspected this will be really hard for me specially during this exams period.. I resisted the urge but I also stopped studying, the subject is boring as hell (economy), I'll try again today and might go out of my home to the park or a library to study, maybe that's the solution.

Apart from that I am being more careful with my diet, I've always cared about it but now more than before. I also keep going to the gym as before but now I'm adding a couple running sessions a week.

I'm also going to start limiting my internet usage, because it's destroying my life as I'm also addicted to internet...

I feel like this no-fap challenge is helping me to focus on other areas of my life as well and try to improve them, it's like it sets the "live a healthy life" vibe and eveyrthing else gets better.
I'm very happy to be on day 5 and still going, I feel like I can change my life and be a totally new person.

Chewbacka

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DAY 5:

Still going without difficulty, I'm very aware of my thoughts all the time (I've worked on that for many years) so when a possible sexual trigger comes through my mind I immediately switch topics, that's been working pretty well.
I also already accepted that my sexual side will be turned off for now, I think that is helping too.

Yesterday I started studying and I didn't have major problems, just one moment where I went to my bed for a pause and I had to control myself when this thoughts came in but it was over soon.


Excited to be on day 6 currently, looking forward for week 2 since they say that's the hardest part...

Chewbacka

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DAY 6:

At night  I almost fall in the temptation of "checking it out" to see how horny I was, so I had some sexual thoughts but immediately noticed that it was useless, that getting aroused with my imagination didn't serve me at all, it wasn't real and it didn't actually tell me anything about my arousal with real girls (which is what I want instead of mental masturbation) and so I had a mental fight there, a small one because my higher self won easily this time around.

It's weird to be on day 7 today while still had not felt any urges, it might be because i'm avoiding sexual thoughts all the time and i'm good at it I guess... Tomorrow starts week 2 for me, for now it's been really easy to no-fap, I just limit my mental sexual images/thoughts and the rest is easy because I don't get turned on by girls on the street, or girls on facebook, etc. As long as I monitor my mind I'll be ok.

I'm wondering how exactly will I know that I've successfully rebooted... maybe I start getting hard just from looking at real girls, I don't know.. might go read on this topic now.

Chewbacka

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DAY 7:

I'm in the middle of day 7 right now, I usually wait until the next day to write the report but I wanted to add this right now. I'll edit this post tomorrow if something more happens obviously.



Girls are checking me out much more, it's not in my mind, it's real!

I don't want to come off as a douche but I have over-average looks for today's standards, and that never made such a big impact since I am not very confident and I am insecure so I try to hide myself and end up coming off as arrogant or douchey, so girls always avoided looking at me, or they just looked when I wasn't looking, just to avoid feeding my ego. What girl wants to checkout the guy who thinks he is the shit? none. And that is the vibe I give off because of my insecurity, I try to seem like a boss instead of the little piece of shit that deep down I apparently feel I am... I'm also very self-conscious and give a nervous/weird vibe some times.. So yeah for me to be calling girls attention so much is a little weird, I always got some girls checking me out here and there but nothing like this before.

Now girls are checking me out much more! Today I went to see a house(I'm searching for a new house to move in) and the seller was a MILF, she had like 50 years old but was hot (maybe no-fap secondary effects tho.. haha) and she was looking at my eyes all the time, even when my father was there and he was the buyer, the one who asks the questions, etc. I wasn't saying a word and yet this lady was checking me out all the time, I was looking the house and when I turned she was always looking at me, I felt her sexual energy, she was obviously attracted.
Yesterday at the gym, this girl that is always unreachable, she is doing her routine with a very serious face like you don't want to bother her (just like me all the time, she also gives that negative non-approachable vibe), but yesterday she started talking to me, and always looking at my eyes and smiling a lot with no apparent reasons...
The day before I was at the bus stop and a lot of girls there were checking me out, some of them even kept looking at me when I went behind them, turning their faces to see me. And while I was walking in the beach also.. I got some girls checking me out, and other girls looking at me for a millisecond and when we lock eye contact instantly looking at the floor (strong sign of attraction with shy girls).

This is amazing!!
« Last Edit: January 26, 2016, 05:57:09 PM by Chewbacka »

risingagain2016

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don't waste your sexual energy into unhealthy sexual affairs.

try to find a relationship.
A good healthy relationship.

A MILF can never be your girl friend or Wife.

try to get a GF or wife.

stay cautious.

people are always around you trying to pull you down and your energy.

old women mostly seek young men to suck their sexual energies.

I am not joking, I have heard a lot about this.

They can seriously ruin you. just like porn.

be careful buddy.

it is always good to build relationships with the women in your age group.

Chewbacka

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Re: Masturbating daily since I was 5 years old!! time to give CPR to my penis!
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2016, 07:46:19 AM »
don't waste your sexual energy into unhealthy sexual affairs.

try to find a relationship.
A good healthy relationship.

A MILF can never be your girl friend or Wife.

try to get a GF or wife.

stay cautious.

people are always around you trying to pull you down and your energy.

old women mostly seek young men to suck their sexual energies.

I am not joking, I have heard a lot about this.

They can seriously ruin you. just like porn.

be careful buddy.

it is always good to build relationships with the women in your age group.

Thanks for the advice dude, but I don't really agree with the idea... My goal is: no porn, no fap, only ejaculate from sex. I won't let a sex chance slip if I get one, my objective with this journey is to rewire my brain to get turned on by real girls, so any kind of sex that I enjoy is enough for me, even if it's a MILF. She can suck my energy all she wants as long as I also get something in return.
Thanks for caring tho!


DAY 7 second half:


It gets harder and harder to control my fantasies and sexual thoughts, I slipped a little bit in fantasies(didn't touch myself tho) which is bad because it strengthens the wrong neural pathways.. Anyway I can try harder, didn't need to put a lot of effort to reach these first 7 days, I have more self discipline inside of me in case this gets crazier (as it should this next days).

risingagain2016

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Re: Masturbating daily since I was 5 years old!! time to give CPR to my penis!
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2016, 11:54:17 AM »
then what is the point of rebooting ?
you are rebooting because you want your life back.

you don't want to get out of one hell and go into another.

you can try balance approach.

don't let someone else ruin you.

if even you are into MILF stuff, stay cautious. Limit the frequency.

Wish you best luck.

Chewbacka

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Re: Masturbating daily since I was 5 years old!! time to give CPR to my penis!
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2016, 12:24:53 PM »
then what is the point of rebooting ?
you are rebooting because you want your life back

I'm rebooting because I want to get turned on with real girls when I date them, kiss them, touch them and be able to have sex with them and enjoy it. So if I have sex with a MILF and enjoy it I call it success.


Thanks for caring tho, cya around bro!


PD: anyway it's not like it's gonna happen... I first need to go some more days in and then start dating girls again and see how my penis responds.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2016, 12:26:29 PM by Chewbacka »

Chewbacka

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Re: Masturbating daily since I was 5 years old!! time to give CPR to my penis!
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2016, 07:02:34 AM »
DAY 8:

Had a moment where I started touching myself for 3 secs but then I stopped, other than that the usual stuff (trying to control my fantasies during the day). That's it.

Ahh and I also felt much more comfortable around people, less anxious and less self-conscious.

Chewbacka

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Re: Masturbating daily since I was 5 years old!! time to give CPR to my penis!
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2016, 11:20:17 AM »
DAY 9: Going back to zero...

Today I'm restarting my counter to 0, I didn't totally relapse but I had a "partial relapse" we could say, and I thought that if I don't reset my counter to 0 to punish me(and as a reminder too) it could perfectly happen again in the future, so to avoid that i'm going back to day 0.

What happened? I went to the gym and there she was, the same girl that 2 days ago started talking and smiling to me out of nowhere (no-fap superpowers or something), we made some small talk, she was smiling, held strong eye contact at times where you could feel the sexual tension building up... And when I came back home I was thinking about her all the time and about how am I going to do to take things further with her(sex), and suddenly I was touching my dick, not fapping but yeah.. I noticed after 2 minutes that I was failing this and so I stopped but when I checked I had like 1 or 2 drops of pre-cum on my penis so.. I didn't orgasm or ejaculate, but I did get excited from fantasies and that is what I am trying to reverse (the fact that I can get off on fantasies but not on real women).

It all started because I had this thought telling me that 30 seconds won't make a difference, just do it and then you stop... Very very stupid and obvious that I was harming myself but I did it anyway...

I'm ok, I don't feel depressed or anything, I just got to know myself better and learnt the kind of traps that I can expect from myself in the future. Avoid touching it, avoid laying in the bed with nothing to do, avoid thinking in girls, just go on with your life goals and hobbies and your things and if you come across a lady let things flow, do not think about women or you will end up fapping sooner or later...

This second attempt starts now, I am resetting my counter after this post. I am afraid this try will be much harder since I didn't ejaculate and I am still super horny so it will be super hard to survive week 1 but I will do it, and week 2 and week 3 and so on.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2016, 09:10:01 AM by Chewbacka »